Friday, December 26, 2008

XXXmas Recap

Everyone wants to know what I got for XXXmas, sometimes I get practical boring gifts, or money, and sometimes I get sexy stuff, and this year was no exception as I get a combo of all 3....

Mom : An ultrasonic toothbrush (to keep my pearly whites their whitest)
Dad : New tires for my car (in the form of $500 cash to get them)
Sister : A black leather carry bag for my upcoming new laptop
Nicole : Crystal Dildo and 2 pairs of panties
Taylor : Hitachi Wand G-Spot Attachment (OMG, I need to do a tease recording
of an orgasm with this piece)
Ember : Victoria's Secret Gift Card
Fatfuck: $1,000 for my new laptop and he also paid for my GPS !

What I got for:

Mom : My sister and I split a day at the spa gift certificate
Dad : A box of golf balls
Sister : I found 4 vintage pulp paperbacks featuring nurse stories, cut off the covers and put them into black frames, they are pretty rad with big boob nurses in some kind of danger, punchy colors, my sister loves them!
Nicole : Cuban Stockings and a Matching Garter Set - slutty!
Taylor : iTunes Gift Card
Ember : Matching lipstick and nail polish
Fatfuck: Nothing, spit, nada, a slap in the face!

And thank you to all my Niteflirt admirers for much appreciated tributes! I plan to get Sirius Satellite Radio for my car, mani / pedi / facial, new bikini!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Mahogany Monster Sighted Again

There is no doubt, the Pres Elect is packing....


photo credit: BauerGriffinOnline

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Sweet Cockswell of Success!

Another Gay Success Story:

I am a 49 year old WM...living with a gal for the past 10 years, have no sex life with her at all. My situation is this - I have always felt bi, and have acted on it over the years, but always had a girlfriend and and an active hetero sex life. Up until recently- where I came across Niteflirt and Mistress Sara. She has a phone sex listing saying "Sara makes you go GAY" - I listened to it a bunch of times and I think she is doing it to me.

Over time, is has now come to the point where I have no Female porn at all, I think about hard cocks all the time. I dream about them. It is the only way I can cum, looking at gay porn. I bought this DVD of a man and a woman both blowing a man. The woman is "Making him do it" - thereby not the responsibility for the cock sucking. Like he / I am off the hook, you might say.

I am puzzled by this change in me. Sometimes just the porn is enough, other times, the drive is so great I go cruising a park in the DC area. LolliPop Park. I sit in my car, summon my strength and go for a walk. Every guy is there for the same reason. Some look nervous, some calm - most either rubbing their cocks or showing hard.

The last few times, nothing - could not find the right situation. Last time I did was good. I walked down by the river and this guy was standing there, rubbing his cock. I started to rub mine and he came over and said, "lets do this thing".

I fell to my knees as he unzipped his jeans. Out came his cock, getting harder, the head with a little precum staring me in the face. At that moment I began to thing how sad my life had become...my very existence was to suck this cock, a total stranger, in the woods. I was a faggot cocksucker. I opened wide, greeted his hard penis with my wet tongue and began to suck. It was a big dick too. He pumped my face for a good 10 minutes, grabbed the back of my head, tensed up and grunted out a load of cum into my mouth and down my throat. It was surreal. I was shaking, choking a little. He zipped up, said thanks and was gone.

Now, so long as I have not blown my load, I stay in this "I want to suck cock" mode. I am not attracted to men at all, just hard cocks. My dream would be to find a woman that would require me to suck cock...force me. She would have to enjoy that....'

I will continue this blog...It is shameful to post, but this is my reality. NiteFlirt in general and Sara in particular have taken me to a new level. What is next for me....Sara has made me a cocksucker - she is soo hot!

More later. I think I need another trip to Lollipop Park....for some meat. Thanks for reading.

Note: Click on blog post title for link to my newest cocksucker's blog! Sara

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

British Girls Have Gone Black!!

from peewee, intrepid UK reporter and cuckold!

I love the site n*ggerwatcher by the way. (click blogpost title for link) It really does succeed in rubbing poorly hung white boys' faces right in it. There is even a video post featuring a discussion about why Britain is comfortably leading the world in interracial couples. The clip features two celebrity guests, who just so happen to both be white women who have 'gone black'.

Apparently, Britain has ten times the amount of interracial couples of other European countries. That comes as no surprise to me. Everywhere I look, whether it be in the shops, on the street, in the papers or on the telly, our prettiest white girls, and many more besides, are walking out with big black men. When I see it, I think it looks so great and natural. I think of my little peewee and have so much admiration for the well hung men and the hot girls that are breaking down outdated taboos to get what they truly desire. Anyway, thanks for introducing me to this website. I'll be sure to keep checking it at every opportunity.

I have also now bought the 2009 calendar of the new queen of the dark meat **WAGs**, Miss Amii Grove, as discussed. This afternoon, I will do as you say and stick pictures of her black husband-to-be, Jermaine Pennant, onto each and every month. I was wondering, do you want me to write anything near the pictures too, in order to really remind myself of my place in this world? I will do so if you think it would be appropriate, but please bear in mind that it is possible that my friends or parents might end up seeing it should they go into my bedroom when visiting. But trust me, I'll do exactly as you say, as always.

Yes, you must write humiliating captions for every month, and you must tell me what the captions are. And if anyone catches the calendar, you can always say it was a bloke playing a joke (joke Xmas gift)!

**WAGs** = Wives And Girlfriends, Brit term for hot sluts who seek out rich black footie (soccer) players and other well known black celebs to date, screw and marry.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Florida Fagovernor Marries



And yet another hypocritical politician, one who vehemently opposes gay marriage in the fine state of F-L-A, entered into a gay marriage himself yesterday. Crist, who had been divorced once (right out of college) and then engaged 5 times, finally tied the knot, ostensibly to assuage the gay rumors and move his political career forward. His name had been tossed around as a Veep possibility, but perhaps his bachelor status or that he lived on Gayton Place kept him from more serious consideration. What to do? Why woo and wed a beard of course! I can only hope that the lucky bride Carole Rome is getting paid for her services. Because, I can't imagine there was a 'single' girl in Florida who hadn't heard about the fagovernor. But wait, this just in! The bride is independently wealthy! So the fagovernor, like many other pols before him, marries a rich bitch. Originally from NYC, Ms. Rome has been living on ultra-exclusive Fisher Island for the past 2 years. Her family made its fortune manufacturing Halloween costumes.

Tara, the pussyboy formerly known as Tarzan -- by Gaywayne!

PART II JANE'S STORY CONTINUES...

It all started when I became bored with Tarzan's I mean Tara's penis which is about the average whiteboy size of 6 inches. I knew the dark African men were about twice that size. So to make Tara see and feel things my way I start fingering his cute girly ass more and gave him my pussy less. Then when I thought it was time I broke out the Sean Michael's strap-on cock. I fucked his boy ass good and completely cut him off from my pussy (I save it for the black guys now). Tara started to become extremely addicted to having his pussy fucked. Then I stopped fucking him all together for about three weeks until the silly pussy was crying in tears that he was having cock withdrawal and to please fuck him. Now I knew he was ready for the real thing.

So I dressed him in the faggiest pair of silk panties that I could find in my collection. Applied bright cherry red lipstick. Put his long hair up again in a french twist. Had him wear a pair of maribou red puffy high heel sandals. (God he looked so queer the way whiteboys should). I gave him a bowl of bananas and told him to walk over the field while wiggling his pretty ass. A beautiful big dark African who was napping under a palm tree. Little did Tara know this was my black lover. I told Tara to gently place the big banana bowl by his masculine black feet and kiss his big toe with all the respect he could muster.

Tara did just that after as I hid behind a tree and peeped with much amusement. When Tara kissed his big toe, the Mandingo started waking up. Tara came back to me quickly. I was annoyed and pushed him back. I said, "That's not good enough. Now go back over there this instant and kiss all ten toes of that hot black man". I thought the big pussy was going to faint. Even though Tara was 6ft tall and had a great-looking muscular body of his own. The black prince was by far much bigger and stronger of the two....as black men mostly are....about 6ft 7 inches.

Tara walked back over and bowed down to kiss all 10 sweet toes. The Mandingo woke up slowly and started to laugh and said. "So the big whiteboy Tarzan is turning fag. Huh?" Tarzan said shamefully with his face staring at him, "Yes sir and thank you for letting me serve you sir. It's all my pleasure sir and it's the least I could do..." The studly Mandingo cut him of by shouting, "Ya damn right right it's the least you can do". He then grabbed the bow of Tara's french twist and slapped him and shouted, "I heard in your first movie you used pygmies to make the white man look bigger and badder then black guys". Tara shakenly replied, "Sir it was only a movie and.." The black stud yelled bullshit and wrapped his massive big thighs around Tara neck pulling him to the ground. I had to laugh knowing that full well whiteboys are simply no match for a black man no matter how tough a movie makes them out to be.

Tara cried in useless shame, "Sir I'm sorry. I did not mean to offend you..." The Mandingo cut him off again and said, "You can show me how sorry you are by sucking my big fat black cock". He pulled out from his loincloth a gorgeous huge black cock and slapped it all over Tara's red face. My pussy was becoming wet seeing the great Tarzan in such a humiliating position. I came out from hiding and shouted, "Go ahead, make my whiteboy suck your beautiful cock. I'm so sick of his Me Tarzan You Jane outdated bullshit". He laughed and looked down at Tara and said, "Go ahead you white fag suck my black cock to make up for all the years you kept us blacks down. It's payback time."

It was so hopeless for poor little Tara. His shoulders were pinned down. He had to give my black lover a blowjob or get his little white ass kicked. I loved it so much seeing him suck black cock that I was cumming. To my added delight the black stud further humiliated Tara by saying things like, "If the white girls who paid to see your movies could see you now sucking black cock. Gag on it bitch and tell me how much you love it and how Jane and all white ladies should only date black men and laugh at you white fags." Tara did as he was told. My Mandingo lover finished him off by turning Tara around and fucked his ass pussy good. Then pulled it out and came all over Tara's face. Telling him not to ever wash his face. I knew this scared Tara and that my bitch would wear my lover's sticky facial. I ran over to my Mandingo lover and stepped on Tara's chest to raise me up so I could give my lover the best kiss he ever had and rightfully so.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

In Search of the Perfect Phallus



The Perfect Phallus


View Mrs. Candy's Quest for the Perfect Penis....

Actually, as a phallus critic, I would not have judged some of the penises as high on the phallic rating scale as she did, perhaps I am a stricter judge on phallocentric matters.

Her post and photos on the Phallic Festival in Japan equals wild! Why don't we have such festivals here in the USA....

Please Don't Make Me Gay!


No Sara please don't make me gay! I was a straight man before I began talking to you. The only thing I thought about was I liked seeing my cock in the mirror when I jerked off. Then you said throw your legs over your shoulders, your cock will look even better in your face. Then you said another man's cock would look even better shooting cum in your face. Into your mouth. Now all I watch is gay porn and I've gone to the bookstore a few times and watched gay porn in the booths. The booths are really small, but there is a theater area and the dude behind the counter told me the theater is where the action is at. I am scared to go in there. It is like opening the door to gay hell, I know I will never come back if I go in.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

The Porthole Loophole


My Dad is shopping for his 'dream boat'. The shitty SoFlo economy has created an interesting supply/demand situation with luxury boats. Large supply, little demand. Nevertheless, savvy buyers are picking up bargain boats. And some know about the porthole loophole tax write-off for claiming the boat as a second 'residence'. My Dad has had boats in the past. But not his dream boat. He wants a 40'+ foot sailboat. So I'm going boat shopping with him tomorrow to spend a little father / daughter time together. And give him my advice on the boats he's interested in.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Tarzan - forced GAY by Jane!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Friday, November 21, 2008

The Mahogany Monster



I would do it. Nicole would do it. Taylor would do it. And we'd do the Secret Service agents (if they were hung)....

The Gay Dock!



From a devote`:

"I have to confess to being a bit shocked by your last email. 21 days to reprogram? Incredible. I have always assumed that most "forced" bisexuality isn't really forced at all. The idea of "forced" generally reminds me of standing at the end of a dock trying to work up the nerve to jump in a cold lake. One isn't forced to go swimming, one wishes to go swimming, but cannot summon the nerve to jump in and take the shock of the cold water until one is pushed off the end of the dock by someone else. Aren't most submissives who are "forced" into a gay experience really just being pushed of the end of the dock, on some level?** This was always my thinking. But having you assert (and I certainly have no reason to disbelieve you) that you can reprogram a man in 21 days is astonishing. Small wonder you feel no need to be called Mistress or Goddess to reinforce your sense of power and superiority if you can reassign someone's sexual orientation without their cooperation. I AM lucky this week's assignment only lasts a week.

This said, I've have had enormous difficulties trying to obey your last instructions. Naked men, no matter how buff or handsome, have NO effect on me, erect penises are actively offputting, and spurting semen is revolting beyond adjectives. Nothing I can do will produce even the slightest response in me with images of this kind in front of me. I have made an honest attempt to do what you ask each day since the assignment was made. After I failed to produce any reaction at all again this morning, I went and viewed a photo of you on one of your listings, just to make sure nothing was interfering with the response otherwise, and reacted instantly. (I did obey and didn't allow myself anything beyond the knowledge that all systems were GO while looking at you). I will continue to obey the instruction; possibly as the time period since my last orgasm lengthens there will be some response, but I have profound doubts. I'd have no doubts at all except for your chilling assertion that you can reprogram a man, which scares me to death."

**Touche` Sara

Gay for Pay-to-View!


I dished out a Pay-to-View assignment tonite where my gayboy-in-training had to watch tonite's football game and lust after the players' asses and dick-bulges, had to imagine what it would be like to be in the locker room, begging for cock. Here is the result:

"I am watching the game and instead of thinking about the plays, I am thinking about the players -- them naked, hot, dicks swinging as they run, what they'd do to me in the locker room after. You're turning me out. Please make me your total whore."

And I shall....

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Gay vs Sissy vs Shemale vs Straight

Empress, I picked up a Latina Shemale, one of many who hang around Santa Monica Blvd between La Brea and Gower in Hollywood. At first she looked at mine and wanted to know if I had ever taken female hormones. I ignored the question. I said though my size didn't matter much because I was a bottom and I suck cock. And she was hung! Double Ds and 8 inches. [I can tell by how far it goes down my throat]. She said "Oh? You want to blow me?' Her smile lit her face. I went down and demonstrated why some have cum to call me "magic mouth". [What else is someone with my dick size going to do? I had to develop those skills. or things would be very lonely.] You should tell all your little dicked guys that there are only two ways to not be lonely when one has a button rather than a dick. That is:

1) serve as slave to a Domme who permits cuckold cleaning and/or preparing the Holy Vagina for pleasure by the use of special and secretly taught tongue and other oral methods of worshipping the Holy Hole.

2) get good at sucking cock and rimming so a guy might put up with you. A word of warning. Gay isn't a sure answer. Gay guys tend to be bigger and bitchier size queens than females and much more gossipy. Gay guys usually don't care for cross dressers, they want "men". Wimps and sissies are better off with Bisexual Men, especially if the sissy is actually passable. Otherwise stick to glory holes, park bushes etc. And of course Dommes who have a collection of allegedly "straight" males who would permit themselves release into another man [or a creature somewhat resembling a man] as long as a woman is "ordering ". That is necessary to assuage their alleged "straight" conscience.. There are of course very horny guys who would stick theirs anywhere woman, man or beast.

Of course I know you know that Empress I am just saying I think it would be so kind, considerate and merciful of you to point things like that out to losers with short things growing from their groin that they can also pee out of. Certainly I am indebted for ever to the Domme who back in 1977 really told me like it was and to give up all hope of being masculine and straight.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Old Lady Nicole's Birthday



Nicole is now 26 and this makes her an AARP card carrying senior citizen!!! She's prolly the oldest dancer at her club, altho she lies all the time, and says she is 23, yeah, she has been 23 for the past 3 years.

For Nicole's party, we surprised her with her own senior citizen party, and a cake that said:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAID!!


I gave her a stack of phone books to better see over the steering wheel with, in fact I put them right in her Mustang convertible, evil! Ember gave her granny panties and a girdle with garters and to complete the granny stripper ensemble, support hose! Taylor gave her a bunch of old lady remedies including Geritol, callous creme, and some pussy wettening suppositories!!!! Jenn went to some thrift shop and got her a cane! Jessica did better and got her a walker! Nicole was so pissed!!! Just wait till you're 27 bitches!!! she kept screeching at us. We all got totally bombe'd on Mansinthe, I'll have to blog about Mansinthe another time....

Happy Birthday to my Blog!


My Blog is 2!!

Thank you to all my blog contributers and followers (bloggies) for making it such a great success!

Response to the comment (click Comments to read):

Well, my girlfriends and I have this tradition of coming up with the most evil of birthday parties, so it will not be surprising if I have to lick frosting off of huge chocolate balls again, which reminds me, I need to blog about Nicole's 26th birthday party....

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Salt vs. Pepper


from peewee, my intrepid UK bloggie correspondent....

I stayed up until 6am for the big fight last night - Florida's own living legend, Roy Jones, Jr. vs Britain's finest ever fighter, Joe Calzaghe. The unassuming Calzaghe, like most with a British-Italian heritage (I'm sure you'd agree Sara!), is supremely gifted and knows it. But he's never shouted about it, whilst amassing a perfect 44-0 record.

Then came a Vegas showdown with Bernard 'The Executioner' Hopkins in April, in which the crass Philadelphian famously proclaimed during the pre-fight build-up: "I'll never lose to a whiteboy"!! The statement evoked memories of the olden days when boxing legends such as Jack Johnson and Joe Louis were constantly fighting against racist attitudes, in a bid to prove that black men could compete on an even footing. Hopkins' comment pained me, because this antagonistic remark was made at a time when we whiteboys are already beginning to accept that black men have gone way beyond achieving an 'even footing'. We realise that big black men are so much better with our girls and that, physically, we don't match up.

Seriously, most whiteboys are indeed fast developing inferiority complexes about big black men. Despite this, we like them and racism is quickly dispersing. We understand and accept why the prettiest white girls need BBC. We worship the black athletes on the sports fields. We buy the black musical artists brilliant albums. And we befriend and value our black neigbours and colleagues.

So Hopkins' inflammatory remark was unnecessary and divisive. And I was delighted when Calzaghe rammed his words down his throat with a victory 6 months ago. And last night, Joe collided, in the Madison Square Garden ring, with the best of his generation, Roy Jones Jr from Pensacola. And yet again, the "whiteboy" won in a brilliant display of speed, skill and character.

Perhaps Hopkins should learn that it's better not to vocalise the emerging black dominance in the sporting arena. Saying that he will never lose a boxing fight against a whiteboy was, and has been proven to be, absurd. Whereas if he'd just said that he has a bigger cock than Joe, and could sexually satisfy his girlfriend in a way that a whiteboy can only dream, no-one would have put up any kind of resistance. Especially, I suspect, Joe's pretty white girlfriend!!

Being of British-Italian descent were you rooting for Joe last night, or as a born & bred Floridian was your heart with Roy? Or were you too busy cuckolding me with some hung Miami stud to care either way!?!

peewee, here in the USofA, we refer to Calzaghe as Welsh, and Welshmen are known to be the most well-hung in any of the UK, because of the Moorish influence when the Moors invaded the British Isles. Tom Jones (as revealed in my much earlier blog post) revealed the generous Welsh 'penisize'. I'm sure Calzaghe is equally hung, being of Italian and Welsh ancestry. Of the two, I'd rather do Calzaghe, because while Roy may be hung, he's just so narcissistic and annoying! To answer your question, yes, my $, well if I had $ to bet, was on Calzaghe. And I'm glad in this case, salt trumped pepper.

And.... there is some debate as to whether Pensacola is really in Florida. Most South or Central Floridians wished the Panhandle would just secede and become its' own state haha, or join Alabama.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

November's McLoser of the Month!


By popular demand.... It seems too easy, but fits this moment in time.

On next month's loser menu, I have a winner or loser haha already pre-selected. This loser is so loserly, you should shield your eyes, you should take a shoebox and make 2 pinholes in it to view the solar eclipse eye-blinding brightness of this loser. December's upcoming loser still does not de-throne the epitome of losers, Stinkbob, who I regrettably believe has gone to the Great Gloryhole in the Sky, but this loser cums close, my friends....

Red Tractor, Small Penis?


comment from a little pet responding to my Obama Obsessed post (scroll below):

I agree that the Democrats' campaign cleverly underplayed Obama's 'blackness'. It's fascinating to think they may have employed cynical lighting manipulation and fashion choices specifically designed to lighten his color and appease the racist element of the white electorate. It wouldn't surprise me. The political spin doctors will have made every attempt to eradicate the feeling of white-boy jealousy and resentment towards him. They needed to ensure that the little white-boys identified with him, rather than envied him. Presenting Obama as a powerful, black, sexual man with a big cock would have been a sure way to lose votes. In contrast, skillfully misrepresenting this proud black man as a light skinned, half white, considerate thinker, with more between his ears than in his pants, will have resonated with the sensitive small dicked Caucasian males. And what better way to achieve this aim than by picturing the President elect in a red car!?! Red Car = Small Penis = White Votes!!

and on that note, I shall shamelessly pimp one of my other blogs:

Red Car? Small Penis!

However, my little pet, here we see Obama depicted with a red tractor, not a red car, but still it works for those farmers, rednecks and midwesterners who are into their red tractors as penis symbols....

It's all over for the Whiteboys! by Gaywayne



I used to have girls say to me, "Oh Wayne, you have such big manly muscles". But now they smirk or giggle, looking at me as a big joke, especially after they pull down my panties and read GAY COCKLOVER tattooed on my ass. To think this all started when Sara sprinkled her fairy dust on me by waving her magic wand behind my pigtails, had me close my eyes, click my ruby slippers while repeating her words, "THERES NO PLACE LIKE HOMO'S". Now us whiteboys must back away when girls say to us, "Beat it fags, I want a black manly stud". Sara has made the words Gay and Wayne inseparable with me like Clark Kent and Superman. Gaywayne

Gaywayne, I love your Dorothy analogy as you may or may not know, lifestyle fags will sometimes refer to themselves as FOD's, Friends of Dorothy. The Tin Man, the Scarecrow and The Cowardly Lion? All gay. The rainbow flags and stickers you see on the doors to gaybars came from "Somewhere over the Rainbow". White betaboys should just accept their gayplace in the world!

Obama Obsessed


Obama is the new rockstar. But would he have been elected if his skin color were darker? If his father weren't African, but African American? He did not rise out of the ghetto, his ancestors did not pick cotton.

Did Colin Powell, Tiger Woods & other mulatto athletes (Derek Jeter comes to mind), Will Smith & other black-man-as-hero actors pave the way for him to become the possibility? To evoke a non-threatening image, to become an acceptable personage to white voters. There was chatter that Obama was being specially lit onstage at rallies, being dressed in certain colors to look lighter skinned, that his photos were being touched up. That he was told to let the grey hair show, to signal more maturity, that he looked too young, combined with his relative inexperience. Did the visual trickery work, if there even was?

He won the popular vote by only a 5 - 6% margin. He ran a deliberate and charmed campaign to garner the pearls, the electoral votes. I haven't bought the panties or redecorated my bedroom with his posters. But across the country, even the world, he has captivated younger women, and so, there will be even more white men left out in the cold, as these women pursue the embodiment of their fantasy for black cock.

Comment:

Sara, I agree with your blog post and can I also suggest the black President on the tv show 24? Early in the show's run, Dennis Haysbert, a fine actor and now pitchman for Allstate, played the President!


Cheifing! (yes that is spelled correctly)


Cheifing is: to write on, shave or otherwise vandalize or scandalize a person who is passed out due to over-consumption of alcohol or other toxins. And should I add, cheifing is meaningless unless such pics are posted on myspace, facebook or otherwise making the virtual rounds. As an added dividend, I assume Sharpie sales are up? You just don't leave home to go partying without your camera phone or your Sharpie....

Now I don't think the cheifing on this girl is that far-fetched or humiliating as she probably loves black cock. When she woke up from her jello shots induced stupor, she probably checked out her cheif mark, went 'oh', puked, then went back to sleep.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Plugged! A Gay Confession


Sara,

I have to tell you about how gay I am even though I'm married. At first I couldn't get hard or fuck my wife unless I imagined I was having gay sex. But then pretending wasn't enough, it got so bad I couldn't even get it up. My wife sat down with me and suggested that 'we try Viagra'. I told her I didn't want to risk the side effects and would look online for another solution. I already had another solution in mind, but my wife would have thought I was a faggot unless I presented it as a medical solution. I bought a butt plug. Well I had another one hidden away that I used when she wasn't around, but I wanted her to see the new one arrive in a package. Besides I upsized! I can get hard if a butt plug is stuffed up my ass. I told my wife it provides prostate stimulation and that's how it works. She didn't really question it since it made my dick get hard enough to fuck her. But it only makes my dick hard enough to fuck her pussy because I pretend there's a cock up my ass. --a married fag--

XYZ! (a/k/a eXamine Your Zipper)


Who knew? Spotted by paps while leaving a London club, Mickey Rourke is trying to look like the leatherboy top, but we see evidence that he is really the black-cock-loving pink pantyboy....

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Montreal Madness Part III by Gaywayne!!!

The adventure continues....

SATURDAY NIGHT

The one thing I hate about going to Gay strip clubs on Ladies Night is all the dancers who pretend they're not gay and ignore you when the women are there. Then when the girls leave they go right back to you and want you to share booth with you for quick money. Or the girl who says they came to Montreal for an education to explore the art museums and cathedrals and don't want to look at your black-cock-only panty covered ass. But they end up in a nite club that has nothing but bare ass naked men. Go figure? I wish Sara would grab the back of their heads and say "OK bitch. if your not interested in cock try some of my hot snatch," and drown their heads in her pussy.

I sat by the stage sipping my drink while watching some skinny wimpy-dick whiteboy strip. But kept my eyes on the tv monitors that showed some hot interracial sex between a white girl and a black man. When all of a sudden two sissy white guys were hip-hopping on the dance floor and stealing the crowd's attention. They were wearing pink t-shirts, one shirt said in bold print FAG on the guy who looked straight and on the other guy's printed t-shirt, it said FAGGIER, this fag was wearing lipstick and eye shadow.

When a black beta male came on stage to do his strip tease show all of a sudden FAG and FAGGIER stopped dancing, ran up to the stage and bow their heads with their arms down simultaneously chanting in perfect harmony "WE OUR NOT WORTHY . WE ARE NOT WORTHY." I was impressed. If I had a t-shirt that said FAGGIEST I certainly would have joined them.

After a mostly slow-moving night things started to pick up when a Mistress and her slave sat by me. Luckily. I didn't know what it was with men wearing pink, but her male slave was wearing a pink t-shirt that said DUM BLOND. How embarrassing. I could see that she made him get a perm and frosted his hair blond looking very faggish.

But the highlight of club's show was when FAG and FAGGIER got up on stage and shared a big black double-edge rubber dildo. Now I have seen this many times in porno films with mostly girls. But this was the first time I saw two guys doing it live on stage and the girls seemed to love it, especially the lesbians. I said to the Mistress siting next to me, "Boy, this is degrading for men to do". She replied: "Girls have been doing this for years for men's entertainment, so now it's payback time." The show got even hotter when a female bouncer named the ROCK who did have rock hard biceps, but not as big as the lady bartender got up on stage with the boys. The Mistress told me she believed that she was the younger sister of that muscle lady called Arnold and they both work out at her gym together.

The Rock held the dildo in the middle while the two whiteboy asses banged the double header. The boys kept rocking back and forth and doing sissy moans. The mostly girl audience (with their muscle black stud dancers with them) were chanting "HEAVE-HO. HEAVE-HO." One girl said to the other: "I could never take a dildo that big!" The other replied: "That's because boys have much bigger pussies." They both laugh as I caught this humiliation line.

After that show another big black stud returned with just a towel wrapped around him. The white girls screamed with joy. With the urging of the Mistress, I handed the stud a few bucks and he wrapped the towel my head so it was just me and a big black scary cock covered by just a towel. For all the straight white guys who say they could never go gay, well let me tell you just let his big black warm cock lay on face for just a minute or two and let him slowly rub it back and forth on your nose and cheek. When he pulls it away, you still want more even though the girls are laughing at you. Then you know you're hooked on gay. After that he sprayed whipped cream on his cock and asked if anyone wanted to lick it off. I could not help but get pull out more dollars bills.

It was getting near closing time and I knew I had to do something to get a lasting memory. By luck the Mistress asked me if I wanted to share a back booth with her and the black stud who was just dancing along with DUM BLOND who agreed to pay half which made it all the more reason to go back there. All four of us went to the back booth. But it was nothing like I expected. As the white Mistress sat and made out (french-kissed) the black stud, she had me stick my tongue all the up DUM BLOND's ass hole. Now like Sara said, I'm a size queen for black cock. I don't go around sticking my tongue up white guys asses, but the Mistress was in charge and she was making me do this humiliating act. You know 3 long minutes and entire song does not sound like much, but you hear her saying "DEEPER DEEPER", it seems like an eternity. So if you thought you were straight and that you only do humiliating gay acts to please women, you will feel definitely feel gay after this. Because this is something you just can't fake. After the song was over she had the black man cum on our faces, then told us to go back out to the bar, but don't wipe the hot fresh cum off our faces while buying a buying girls a drink. Boy I thought I was going to die after the white girls figured out what was on our faces and could not stop laughing and then went back to make out with their black lovers(dancers). They knew we were just a couple of broken-in whiteboys for black cock and existed for white girls to tease and put down. I realized then that this is the way it should be and us "dum" white pussy boys should accept this without question. We all know that black men are superior.

As I stopped at the border gate to go in back into the good old usa my tongue still had the taste of ass. I could not get rid of the taste in my mouth even though I used mouthwash. The border guard asked that same old question after he checked me out. "Did you get any hot pussy in Montreal tonight?" Now I guess I must have been been either very tired or I was just fed up about lying about what a stud I'm so I slipped and said: "No pussy sir no. But I know what a white guy's asshole tastes like" I tried to laugh, then swallowed hard as the guardsman look down at me with a cold chilling stare. Then he shrugged and patted my arm and said, "Well keep up the good work" and I drove on. THE END. by Gaywayne

Saturday, November 01, 2008

October's Losers of the Month: The Tampa Bay Rays!



Note to all losers!!!

You losers have been neglecting your loser-ly duties. I need pictures of losers to choose for the Loser of the Month award!!! My girlfriends and I choose the biggest loser, but we haven't had a photo since July??? I mean, there have to be more losers out there, what, are you hiding??? Email me your loser photo for consideration. You will have an excellent chance of winning, I promise!! ;-)

The NFL in London-town



From my blog reporter in the UK, peewee....

In the English press, there has been a very positive reaction to the NFL in London. Alas, there has been no mention of the fact that this awesome show on Wembley's hallowed turf was a reminder to us all that black men and white girls are the alpha specimens of the human race. The national anthems had set the tone, being passionately sung by Ne-Yo, a black hip-hop star from the USofA, and Joss Stone, a pretty white UK diva. It was then truly compelling to see this thrilling game being played out by a disproportionate amount of big black men, with their huge hard helmets whilst simultaneously being enthusiastically supported by a posse of scantily clad pretty white girls with pom-poms!

As stated previously, the event proved that American Football can indeed be viewed as a microcosm of life. It is perhaps a tad superficial to claim that because the blacks (New Orleans) triumphed over the whites (San Diego), it reflects a trend in society as a whole. Even to extend the argument to include the contrast between the ideal male specimen, represented by a largely black roster of players, and the ideal female form, represented by a majority white team of cheerleaders, is only scraping the surface of the analogy.

As you have pointed out, the NFL teams seem to be made up of 99% black men. But this is still offset by your equally astute observation that the QB and Kicker positions are often filled by white men. Moreover, it would seem that the Head Coaches and owners of the franchises are also likely to be white. Never-the-less, I understand that this is fast changing. Virile black Quarterbacks such as Donovan McNabb, Vince Young & Jason Campbell are starting to take the game by storm and Head Coaches such as Tony Dungy & Lovie Smith are beginning to pull the strings. This, in turn, is helping to eradicate the prejudiced view that only white men have sufficient intelligence to occupy the 'thinking' positions on the field.

And that particular dynamic within the sport is certainly a worthy metaphor for interracial advances within the wider society. As the QB and Head Coach roles 'go black', so too does the pretty white female population and, in all likelihood, the Presidency of the most powerful nation in world politics. To me it seems like it's not just the prettiest white girls, but the whole world that is going black.

A Very Gay Birthday!


Dear Sara,

First I went to a adult bookstore at lunch and sucked off a guy in the video booth. He decided to pull out of my mouth as he was cumming and covered my face with cum. I left some of the cum on my chin as I walked out of the store.

Next, I called this lady I met on the internet. She is married but allows select guys to come over for fun for a small fee. I had told her I wanted to show up right after her husband leaves, lick his cum from her and then have her fuck me in the ass with a strap on. Her husband knows what she does and I drove to their house and waited for him to leave before going to the door. She let me in and told me to strip. I removed my clothes and laid on the floor. The cum was already dripping from her pussy as she positioned herself above my face. I licked her pussy, cleaning all the cum out and she had several orgasms. Then I laid on my back, lubed my own ass for her as she thrust in my ass with her strap on that was about 8". She fucked me hard and called me her bitch. I came as soon as she touched my cock and she fed me the cum while she kept fucking. I completely enjoyed my hour with her and she told me that she had never been dominant before and loved it!

Trend-spotting!

I like to spot new kinky fetishes and sex trends. A hot trend among all of you fagboys seems to be self-sucking and self-fucking. Pssst I know why all you guys are taking yoga hehe and it isn't to see hot chicks in interesting, contorted (sex) positions. It's to gain the flexibility to throw your legs over your shoulders and suck your own dick, or at the very least, lick the tip. And some of you more adventurous boys with incredible, bendable Gumby dicks have been trying to stuff your own dicks up your ass, at the very least, stuff the head in. Witness:

Self Sucking and Self Fucking!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Peewee Postulates: The New BBC Trend!!


'Is BBC a trend?'

Possibly, but I would suggest it is anything but a passing trend. It seems to me that pretty white girls are becoming increasingly interested in big, black cock, and are much more liberated to indulge their passions in this regard. The evidence has been mounting for years and I believe it will continue to develop until we quickly reach the stage where the vast majority of our prettiest white girls are exclusively dating big black men.

In the same way that homosexuality has always existed, but had been repressed, I am convinced that females have always lusted after huge, powerful black men, knowing that white boys rarely match up physically or sexually. This lust is not a trend. It's just been a long suppressed taboo that has only become acceptable to acknowledge and embrace in recent years. Girls are 'coming out' as BBC lovers all over the world, and trust me, we white boys know it and fear it - but also understand and accept it.

If there is to be a 'NEW' trend of some sort, I would suggest that we look to my ABBC Theory for indicators as to it's identity. In years gone by, Brave Bounteous Cock (BBC) was at the top of the food chain for the most privileged ladies. This was replaced by Bad Boy Cock (BBC) as alpha females became more daring and sexually charged by danger. As society began to progress and move away from the irrational racist beliefs of yesteryear, girls have finally been able to realize their repressed desires and enjoy open liaisons with Big Black Cock (BBC). Despite the progress, the trend is not yet complete. The current BBC phase is still in its' infancy. As it matures, interracial relationships will prosper to the point of normality. White boys will know their place. And eventually, a new phase will become evident - Black Breeding Cocks (BBC).

The prettiest white girls will no longer be satisfied by simply indulging in brief exciting liaisons with big black men. They will, en masse, begin to forge long lasting relationships with black men, committing to, and marrying, them. And yes, becoming pregnant with their children. It is happening now, but this is still (unreasonably) frowned upon by the majority. These outdated values will gradually dissipate and beautiful white women gone black, like Heidi Klum, will become the norm. After all, commitment and procreation are inherent desires within females. Black men will no longer be ignorantly viewed as dangerous rap stars with big cocks and voracious sexual appetite and prowess. Having established their sexual dominance, they will prove they are the real men, and the ultimate alpha male, in today's society. Black men will rapidly begin to marry and breed the prettiest white girls all over the civilized world. Then, the new Black Breeding Cocks phase will have become the new BBC 'trend'.

What do you think, am I right or am I right?

From Sara: I agree with you in theory peewee, but the Seals are rare. Meaning the accomplished, wealthy, mature, good-daddy black males.... They need to become more plentiful before this black + white marriage literally trend can be enacted.

Wife-writing! The latest, nastiest BBC trend!


Of course there is a website with all the details. Click blog post for link!

My Favorite BBC Joke Ever!

I can't remember when I first heard this joke, high school? It's part of the other education, the secret sex education that girls receive. To learn to desire larger cocks, black cocks, to reject wimpy white ones!

Joke:

A wimpy white guy is in the locker room with a well hung black man. His eyes are locked onto the black man's cock, which is longer and thicker in its' 'flaccid' state than the white guy's dickie would be when erect. He notices that the black man's cock has a tattoo. The tattoo spells out a girl's name: WENDY. The black guy notices that the white guy is staring at his cock. Yo, he confronts him, what are you a little whiteboy faggot? His accent makes him Jamaican. No no no, the white guy counters. I just noticed you had a tattoo on it and I thought wow that must be painful to have a tattoo there. I hope your girlfriend Wendy appreciated that you went thru all that pain to have her name tattooed on your cock. Then the Jamaican guy laughs. No man, no. It doesn't say WENDY. It says: WELCOME TO JAMAICA MAN HAVE A NICE DAY!

Gaywayne, Always Bet on Black!

from Gaywayne:

I thought I was a straight macho man. But after several phone calls with Sara, I'm now a cock-loving faggot. In no time she will have you buying Gay mags, large black dildos and begging guys like Micheal Jordan if you can hand wash his Hanes underwear. As a white fag, you will also support her and her girlfriends right to date black guys only if they choose to. Because us whiteboys should proudly take it up the ass with our frenchmaids' uniforms on to give Sara and her friends a big laugh.

Sara, I hope you like my feedback comment (see above). I know this sound like a silly white fag question but did Nicole and Jessica have a good time in Jamaica? Did they meet and make love to any hot black studs? Tell them I would love being a flufferboy for you girls. Sara should I be black owned?. Ever since our last phone call all I do is fantasize about a black man sticking his big tonque in my month to suck on. All I want to do is blow bubbles in my black stud bathtub as he gets ready for his date with his white girlfriend as I trim his pubic bush and wash his feet and cherish the rest of him. What do you think?

Q: Did Nicole and Jessica have a good time in Jamaica?

A: YES!

Q: Did they meet and make love to any hot black studs?

A: YES! But to answer the second part, I wouldn't call sex with black studs "making love", it's called fucking!

Q: Should I be black-owned?

A: Uhhh is that a rhetorical question? The answer is YES!

Q: What do you think?

A: If Obama is elected, you have to worship black studs for 4 years!!!!


More from Gaywayne:

OH SARA, I just read the latest on your blog. Thank you so much for showing the world what black cock loving faggots white guys have become today for white ladies and their black lovers. All us white boys should learn to curtsey our dresses for black cock or get a good bare-ass spanking from a big black dude in front of all you laughing white ladies. You Sara truly showed us where we belong. Keep up the good work. You're great! xxxooo Your big fairy Gaywayne p.s. O you make me feel so gay Sara. Tell Nicole to kiss one of those black bros for me. I can't believe I was once straight.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Is BBC a Trend??


from an admirer:

I believe Madonna has gone to the dark side with her new boyfriend. Lately she has been hitting the trends on the back side (you know following Angelina with the black kid adoption etc). When we get a small dicked black/white president you know going to the dark side is on the downturn, although I suspect Madonna's new boy is well equipped. So the question is what's next? What follows the BBC trend, what will woman be fucking next?

from me: You know, that brings up some very good questions. What will follow BBC? Is BBC a trend? Sound off, comment, write me!

Yay Tampa Bay!



9 = 8 orgasms for me!!! ;-)

If you know Tampa Bay, you know what that means!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Go Tampa Bay!


Since the Marlins are out of the picture, I have no recourse but to root for the team on the other side of Florida, The Rays. Nicole called me earlier today with a joke:

Nicole: What is the difference between Evan Longoria* and Eva Longoria?

Me: Hmmmm, I dunno, ummmm, the letter N???

Nicole: Wow that is a good answer, but no, Evan likes playing with white balls and Eva likes playing with black ones.

Me: Well I'm glad we figured that out.

....Now, cum to think of it, I wouldn't mind playing with Evan Longoria's balls.

*of the Rays

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Gaywayne, the Size Queen!


After reading 'Montreal Madness' (click on blog tag Gaywayne below to read the story), Nicole wondered why Gaywayne did not go to the adult bookstore across from the bar to suck cock. I finally got Gaywayne's response tonite.... Gaywayne said he did not go to the ABS because there were only little old man dickies to suck, no large cocks. He figured he'd have better luck hanging out where the action was. Gaywayne, the Size Queen! He only sucks big black cocks!

And for all of you considering a Montreal Madness sex-ay vacay, St. Catherine Street is where the red lite district is, according to our expert, Gaywayne!

And just for Gaywayne, I have included another gratuitous pic of Nicole, remember Nicole is his new boss...

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Cuchi Cuchi!


On Real Time with Bill Maher, this gem from Garry Shandling:

"Here's how Joe Biden prepared to handle Sarah Palin at the debate, he watched how Johnny Carson handled Charo on The Tonight Show."

Monday, September 29, 2008

Sunday, September 28, 2008

When Brown Turns to Black....



from my intrepid UK correspondent peewee....

The big news over here in the UK (yes, even bigger than the agonising Ryder Cup post mortem) is the keynote speech delivered by Prime Minister Gordon Brown at the Labour Party Conference in Manchester. Confidence in Brown's leadership is almost non-existent, so a hair-raising speech was essential. What better way to achieve this than by having your loyal wife precede you with a glowing tribute and lovingly introducing you as a dedicated, decent man. Brown clearly shares your belief regarding the importance of 'pussy power' in the current political arena. Certainly, the immediate reaction appears to be a positive one, so Sarah Brown may well have saved her husband's neck... for now!

That said, two days ago the tabloids featured Sarah Brown's previous public appearance. The Prime Minister's 'loyal, devoted & dependable' wife appeared somewhat distracted from her usual position at her hubby's side. But what irresistible temptation could possibly be powerful enough to lure Sarah Brown's gaze away from her dour-faced husband? .... The answer is clear - a big, semi naked black man!

Although it is undeniable that the UK's hottest young honeys are now shamelessly chasing after BBC, it would appear that even the middle-aged wives of our nation's most successful white men are easily attracted to dishy dark meat! Our Prime Minister's wife could hardly tear her transfixed eyes away from the big black model, Tyson Beckford's powerful ebony body. I'm sure that Sarah will muster the restraint to repress her dark desires in order to stand by her husband's side. But I would take issue with Labour's Conference catchphrase. Black, not Brown, is 'Winning the Fight for Britain's Future'!

Tyson Beckford is so yummy~ And his yummy photo is c/o Reuters. Sara

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Pussy Power!


Canadian politician Belinda Stronach

from one of my admirers....

I'm absolutely convinced that you're right about a likely increase in women in politics. It's inevitable. The gender playing field has evened out considerably, yet the female representation in the most powerful political positions has not. Not yet anyway. But times they are a changin'. Without Hillary Clinton's empassioned vocal support, Obama would have struggled. And McCain has clearly received a boost from Sarah Palin's involvement. This just serves to demonstrate that the political western world, like never before, is finally ready to hand power to the females. There are hot female policitians in the US, Canada, Sweden, Switzerland, Belgium, just to name a few.

The problem is that although the female electorate can identify more easily with a female candidate, a lot of male voters seem inherently chauvinistic and resistant to change. These type of men usually only roll over for supremely tenacious aggressive females or extremely pretty ones. So, while a surge in female politicians is a welcome inevitability, I'm also relishing the prospect of seeing hordes of beautiful women, or 'dollyticians', strutting their political stuff. Let's face it, I know, from first-hand experience, that we men can be easily ruled by a pretty, intelligent and dominant girl.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Gaywayne, starring in "Montreal Madness"

Queen Sara. Gee I feel I'm giving Montreal so much free advertising they should pay for my vacation Ha Ha.

Friday Night


Instead of going to a nigthclub as I usally do, I when to a bar known for its' interracial action because I felt like getting drunk. I bought a drink for a pretty white girl (who looked like Sara) after she turned down the advances of two white guys who came on to her. As I was having my drink with her I notice the two rejected white guys were whining to the female bartender they called Arnold (with biceps bigger then most guys)about their failure to get any sexy times from women. Then a big black dude came in and as you would know it sat on the empty stool on the other side of the pretty lady that I was with. She smiled at him and started to pay more attention to him then me. Then she started to giggle at his jokes which she would not do for me. Then she loudly started to laugh. Of course I was very jealous of being replaced by a black guy. So I went to the Men's Room to relieve myself. I certainly was not going to mess with that big black dude.

When I came back out I was stunned she was already making out with him after rejecting the advances of us three white guys. But instead of getting mad I strangely got turned on and bought them both a drink because I was very interested in what they had to say to each other. I could not believe what I was hearing. The black dude said to her "You know I just came from a night club that had a bunch of whiteboys complaining about where are all the women tonight." She laughed saying
"That's because us white babes are here in these bars waiting for manly black hunks like you. You see we're tired of being with those boring silly whiteboys." They kissed deeply. Then she said "But the whiteboys are good for one thing." "Whats that sugar?" He smiled. "To buy us girls drinks until the real men like you show up." They laughed then she looked around at me and gave me a smirk as if to say get your fagass out of here before I have my black stud make you look stupid by licking his shoes clean.

So I got up and sat near the two white dudes who got rejected along with a cute young redhead who might have been the girlfriend of the muscular female bartender Arnold. It was clear that Arnold was getting very tired and annoyed with the whining of the whiteboys. She clashed her fist down on the bar and said, "That's it. I can't stand you guys whining about not getting any pussy. She grabbed one guy off his stool and yelled, "Get the fuck out of here and go to the gay gloryhole adult store across the street. I bet you will be luckier at sucking off somebody's prick then getting free pussy". Then she threw his ass right out into the street. She turned and looked at the guy who looked scared shitless as he got off the stool and said with his palms up in the air. "Okay I'm going. I don't want any pussy I'm going". The cute redhead turned around and smiled and said, "You whiteboys have become such shameful wimps". I asked, "Don't you feel sorry for them?" She said "Hell no. They're losers, they should just suck cock".

The cute redhead then stood up and kissed the musclewoman bartender on the lips and said, "You were awesome. I just love it you show those men I mean fags where to go". Then she looked at the front window pointing, "Look they really are going to the gloryhole." She then gave the high five to the muscle lady who said, "I think for now on we'll call those two 'Cumbreath and Ballsalicky'." "Perfect names". The redhead looked at me and said, "How come you're not joining them?" I said, "Oh, I'm not complaining". I got up to mingle with people on the dance floor.

I saw a lovely shy short hair skinny white blond text messaging at a private table. I went up to her and asked her if she would like to dance? By the way she talked I could tell she was from some backwards hick town from the states and wasn't used to socializing with strangers. She turned me down for the dance and kept texting. I said, "that,s cool" and went back to the bar for another drink next to a black man who just came in. While we were drinking he said to me, "How's the action in here tonight?" "There's nothing to pick up here tonight," I replied convinced. The black guy answered, "Oh what about that cute white girl at that table over there." I said "Oh, she's from one of those redneck towns. I doubt she's into interracial". He said, "I bet you ten bucks I can get her to go out on the dance floor with me". I repled, "OK if you want to lose your money". The black man did not like the tone of my voice and said, "For another ten bucks, I bet I'll be kissing that girl by the second song". I said, "Man, if you can do that, I'll come over and kiss your ass right in front of her." He said "It's a done deal." We both put up a twenty.

I said to myself no way can he get that shy backward girl to dance with him. I watched him make his move. Well, I'll be dipped in shit. Not only did she gladly get up to dance him, they embraced. By the second song I could not believe my white eyes, he was indeed kissing her. He waved me over. Proving my word I walked over and gave him the twenty. Then I kneeled and gave him a very sweet kiss on his lovely ass as they embraced. With her palms on his shoulders she nervously looked behind him to see me on my knees planting a sweet one between his ass cheeks. The black guy said "Don't worry honey, he's just a whiteboy who knows his place. Isn't payback a bitch?" She laughed out loud, threw her arms around his head and proceeded to give him a long french kiss.


Saturday night cumming soon....

Bikini Girls with Pellet Guns....



....would be a fine skin-ematic oeuvre for late nite Cinemax.

Not to be outdone, Quentin Tarantino will be fashioning a remake of the classic "Faster Pussycat Kill Kill". Perfect to indulge his foot 'n' fast car fetish! But his choice of casting is either perfect or fugazi'd with Britney Spears in talks to play one of the dominatrixie strippers on a desert murder spree.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Caribou Barbie!


Comes with everything you see here*:

- Dead Caribou

- M-16

- PinkSnowmobile

- Sexy Librarian Glasses

- Power Suit

*Now what about a big black strap-on?? Sara

Talking Caribou Barbie spouts out such fun phrases as:

- "I'm a pitbull with lipstick!"

- "My family is off-limits!"

- "What is it the Vice President actually does?"

- "Excuse me while I go have more babies!"

But Caribou Barbie won't talk in front of the press!


Post developed from many jokes about 'Caribou Barbie' floating around, photo from blog www.collegeotr.com

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

UK Jungle Fever Update!



from peewee, my UK correspondent....

It's been another bad month for English white boys, as we've witnessed the last remaining stunner from the nation's hottest band, Girls Aloud, officially 'go black'. For years, British men have been smitten with the Girls, admittedly for their videos more than their manufactured pop sounds. Cheryl, Kimberley and Nadine, in particular, are always in UK men's top ten sexiest women lists. But our country's emasculated white boys have had to watch as first Cheryl, then Kimberley, threw their hearts into long-term relationships with big black studs. But Nadine was different. She dated Desperate Housewives pretty boy, Jesse Metcalfe. She was a pure, sweet Irish girl that seemed unmoved by dick size and satisfying sex. She was our Princess. Or so we thought. First, we were forced to endure erotic dance routines which featured the Girls, and increasingly Nadine, in various states of undress with athletic black dancers. There followed tabloid revelations of sordid hotel frolics with mysterious black Americans in NYC. Then there were the stories of Nadine's break-up with Jesse, amidst rumours of a blossoming relationship with a black backing dancer. Now, the story has broken that young Nadine has begun a new, serious romance... with New York Giant, Jason Bell. And unsurprisingly, the papers report that "all of the Girls really like him". I wonder why?!

White boys are simply not in contention for the prettiest British girls anymore. The successful big black men have acquired the Alpha male status on this side of the Atlantic. They are enjoying their rightful position at the top of the sexual food chain and we white boys have had to taste defeat. We are doing so without resistance and with grace and dignity because we fully accept that the pretty white girls deserve bigger and better than we can offer. As you rightly state, Empress Sara - "Always Bet on Black"!

I will attach images of the lovely Nadine's steady progression towards black men in this, and a further message that will immediately follow this one. They will serve to support and illustrate the above points.

I have numerous other images of UK girls that have been dating black men but will save these for another Jungle Fever Update in the future.

There were also rumors here in the US that she was Jesse Metcalfe's arranged / paid beard, since he desperately needed to deflect whispers that he was power bottom gaymeat. Apparently, the corporate pimps for Girls Aloud wanted stateside publicity for GA to hopefully grow their fan base across the pond....The moment the engineered faux-mance fizzled, Nadine hopped on the darkmeat train!!! Can you blame her? Sara

"Your penis was just too damn little!" -- A Small Penis Confession

Hello Sara,

I thought you of all people would like to hear this story. I recently had dinner with an ex girlfriend of mine. We have actually have been really good friends ever since she broke of with me many years ago. Anyway the two of us had a great dinner, it had been a long time since it was just the two of us. Her husband doesn't mind her spending time with me, we are cool.

Anyway after dinner we stopped by a bar had more then a few drinks. I after some a few shots I finally got the guts to ask her to REALLY REALLY tell me why she broke up with me. I told her that I wanted the truth, not to hold back! We were great together!!! She was very much not wanting to tell me, she begged me to drop it. But I counter begged her to tell me. She took a shot, looked me in the eye and said (in a whisper) "your penis was just too damn little." She said it with such a straight face, then she cracked up and for a moment I thought it was a joke ... I said "so really why did you break up with me." She, still cracking up said "I'm not joking buddy, your dick is so damn small I had a hard time knowing when to start faking it. Hey don't give me that look, you wanted to know." She stared to control her laughter and continued "you're a great guy and I still love you, but you just didn't have it down there. I couldn't see spending my life with such a little dick."

A few days later I was talking to her on the phone, and asked her if she remembered our conversation about the break up ... she said she did, and said she was sorry. I asked if that means she was just joking that night, she said "oh no I wasn't joking about the little one."

IT'S NOT FAIR! I CAN'T HELP HAVING A LITTLE DICK, WHY SHOULD I BE DENIED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!

You're lucky you can even spend a little time with your ex... Not that you should be denied the LOVE of your life, but you should be denied SEX with the love of your life. I'm sure she married a guy with a big cock....Sara

Small Penis responds: Sara, I'm not sure of his cock size, she never told me, I can now assume he is big since she more or less told me that "size really matters." But he is a rock, I mean the Hugh is super big, built and tall. He towers over me. Thanks for saying that I shouldn't be denied her, only her sex. ... but that doesn't stop the fact that I still really want her and I can't have her for something I can't control :(

That's Mistress Sarah Palin to all you wimps!



From one of my admirers....

Right now, Palin has Democrats quaking in their boots -- and with good reason. But all hope isn't lost. For even if this election turns out to be a referendum on the national libido, Palin may scare off more voters than she attracts

Because to anyone who isn't a true believer, Palin comes across not as a fantasy pinup, but as a dominatrix. And the S/M demographic isn't going to put the Republicans over the top in the swing states.

For the die-hard Republicans who lusted over Palin at the convention, her whip-wielding persona was a turn-on. You could practically feel the crowd getting a collective woody as Palin bent Obama and the Democrats over, shoved a leather gag in their mouths and flogged them as un-American wimps, appeasers and losers. "Drill, baby, drill!" the chant ecstatically repeated by the GOP faithful during Rudy Giuliani's speech, acquired a distinctly Freudian subtext after Palin spoke. The more Palin drilled the Democrats, the more hotly the base yearned to drill her. (We will leave it to shrinks to determine whether the GOP hardcore has the hots for Palin because she's reaming the Democrats, or because authority-worshippers tend to have secret fantasies of being reamed themselves.)

Salon.com Article on Mistress Palin

Sarah Palin 'shop' pic courtesy of blog www.moun.com

Friday, September 05, 2008


I might be driving north on Monday to get out of Ike's path / wrath. My sister is in Whorelando and my Mom and my Aunt Gina are planning to go there. To avoid the henhouse, I'll be going to my Da's (he prefers to be called Da due to his Irish ancestry) about 175 miles north on the coast. I already bought 2 gas cans and filled them up and filled up my gas tank. It's not so much the mileage / distance as sitting in massive no to slow-moving traffic and running out the gas.

UPDATE: Ike hit the Keys and is en route to to the Texas Gulf Coast, meanwhile South Florida weather peeps continue to instill fear in its' residents: "Could South Florida Survive the Big One". It's the Republican way to keep the populace in fear, I'm so tired of fear-mongering....Sara