Saturday, June 28, 2008

Oh Murse-y!


Robert Downey Jr. with his murse. But I thought gas station shirts went out of fashion in the Gay 90's....

Friday, June 27, 2008

Bromance -- Gay Gay Gay!


Courtesy of the Hollywood Reporter:

LOS ANGELES - “The Hills” co-star Brody Jenner is getting his own MTV series.

The network has committed to six episodes of “Bromance,” which has been the subject of recent online attention. The show, from Ryan Seacrest’s production company, will feature a group of “regular guys” who come to Hollywood and compete in a series of challenges, from skydiving to dealing with the paparazzi — in hopes of being chosen by Jenner to become part of his entourage.

Along the way, contestants will be whittled down via “Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies” after which rejected “bros” will be asked to leave the bachelor pad dripping wet in a swimsuit, luggage in hand. Bringing to mind various dating reality shows, contestants also will have shots at a “group date” and “alone time” with Jenner in every episode.

# # # #


First of all, it's coming out of Ryan Seacrest's production company. Ryan Seacrest = gay! Next, the star is Brody Jenner, my gaydar isn't going off re: Brody, but he's the juicy bait to reel in gays-in-denial. Hot tub elimination, how much more gay can you get? They should just suck off Brody, best cocksucker wins. I'm going to force myself to watch an episode to get my gay fix.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Overheard at the Club: Overstimulated

4 douches want bottle service, my specialization. I'm used to having douches try to show off their shit by taking a table for $250 (bottle of Grey Goose with set-ups) and putting it on their credit card. They wouldn't have the $ to afford it otherwise. Credit cards give them the illusion that they can be players, but Amex doesn't make the eau de pauvre douche go away. This past Saturday nite, I had to deal with a totally new flavor of douche. A douche who had cashed his stimulus check for $300, which gave him enough for the $250 table and a $50 tip. And he brought 3 buddies to wallow in it with him. One of the other douches showed me the fugly tattoo he got with his $300 stimulus check. Thank you Mr. President. At least some of the stimulus check money is hitting the economy, and $50 hit my wallet.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Gaywayne's Guide to Winning Back White Girls

HOW TO WIN BACK THE WHITE GIRLS ATTENTION

(WHO PREFER BLACK GUYS) BY GAYWAYNE

WHEN I ASKED A BLACK FRIEND OF MINE WHAT CAN THE WHITE GUY DO TO GET BACK THE WHITE GIRLS THE BLACK MAN STOLE FROM HIM, HE THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE THAN SHOOK HIS HEAD IN DISGUST THEN SAID "MAN YOU GUYS GOT TO COME UP WITH A WHOLE NEW GAME PLAN" AND THEN HE WALKED AWAY.

SO I BEGAN WORKING ON THE GAME PLAN AND CAME UP WITH A LIST OF TEN THINGS WHITEBOYS CAN DO TO COMBAT THE FASTEST GROWING TREND OF WHITEGIRLS REPLACING WHITEBOYS WITH BLACK STUDS AND TURNING US GAY. AS SARA'S PROVED WITH HER PHOTOS FEMALE CELEBRITIES TURNING TO BLACK. HOPE THIS HELPS YOU GUYS.

IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM JOIN 'EM!

1. PULL OUT YOUR NEW COPY OF BLACK INCHES MAGAZINE TO READ WHILE YOU ARE WAITING YOUR TURN FOR A PEDICURE AT THE BEAUTY SALON. OR FOR BETTER RESULTS GO TO A COLLEGE LIBRARY AND SIT BY A TABLE OF PRETTY GIRLS WHO ARE TRYING TO STUDY. THEY MIGHT THINK IT'S A FRATBOY JOKE WHEN YOU PULL OUT YOUR READING MATERIAL, BUT YOUR AGE WILL GIVE YOU AWAY AS A WHITEBOY FAG. WHEN YOU LEAVE THE TABLE THEY'LL TRY TO STIFLE THE ROAR OF GIGGLES.

2. ALWAYS PULL UP YOUR BLACK COCK ONLY THONG INTO A WHALE TAIL AND WEAR YOUR PANTS LOW SO THE GIRLS CAN SEE IT AT AN INTERRACIAL HIP HOP BAR OR A STRIP CLUB ON LADIES NITE.

3. BRAG TO ALL WHITE GIRLS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TO HANDWASH A BLACK MAN'S G-STRING, SHINE HIS SHOES OR WASH HIS CAR AS HE DOES HIS WHITE WOMAN.

4. AT THE BAR TELL ANY WHITE CHICKS BEFORE YOU GO TO THE MENS ROOM THAT IT'S OKAY TO TELL THE BLACK STUDS WHO ARE HITTING ON THEM THAT YOU'RE JUST A WHITE FAG WHO KNOWS HIS PLACE.

5. ALWAYS KISS THE BLACK MAN'S ASS AROUND WHITE GIRLS BY CALLING HIM SIR AND ASK HIM TO FLEX HIS ARM AND COMPLIMENT BY TELLING HIM THAT HIS BICEPS ARE BIG AND STRONG AND CAN WHIP ANY WHITEBOYS' ASS. MAKE SURE THE WHITE GIRLS HEAR THIS AND AGREE.

6. TELL WHITE GIRLS THAT YOU BELONG TO A YAHOO CLUB CALLED WHITEBOYS ARE PUSSIES AND BLACK MEN ARE HOT. AND THE BEST BIG RUBBER DONGS ARE ALL BLACK LIKE SEAN MICHEALS AND BAM THAT YOU OWN.

7. TELL THEM THAT THE ONLY TWO THINGS YOU VIEW ON THE WEB ARE INTERRACIAL SEX BETWEEN WHITEGIRL/BLACKGUY AND GAY WHITEBOY PORN.

8. TELL THE GIRLS YOU WOULD BE ASHAMED TO STAND NAKED NEXT TO A BLACK MAN BECAUSE HIS HUGE BLACK COCK WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A LITTLE GIRLYBOY WHILE THE WHITE GIRLS LAUGH.

9. TELL A WHITE LADY THAT YOU WOULD WOULD FEEL HONORED TO BE UNDER HER FOOT WHILE SHE FRENCH KISSES HER BLACK LOVER. SARA TOLD ME I MIGHT BE LUCKY TO GET THAT. SHE IS RIGHT.

10. TELL THE WHITE GIRLS WHO RESPECT ALL BLACK GUYS BUT CAN'T STAND WHITEBOYS THAT A WHITEBOY IS ONLY GOOD FOR A WHITE GIRLS TO TEASE HIM ABOUT HER BLACK LOVERS. THAT THAT A WHITEBOYS ASSHOLE IS REALLY A PUSSY BEGGING FOR A HUGE BLACK COCK AND FAGGY RED LIPSTICKED LIPS ARE PERFECT TO GIVE A BLACK STUD HEAD.

SARA PLEASE POST THIS AND E-MAIL THIS TO YOUR GIRLFRIENDS TO REVIEW THIS TO FIND IF THIS IS RIGHT ROAD TO RECOVERY FOR THE WHITEBOY TO TAKE TO WIN BACK THE WHITEGIRLS ATTENTION. THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOUR WHITE FAGGOT GAYWAYNE. KISSY KISSY.

Gaywayne is on the right track. The major lament of my Niteflirt admirers is that they can't find a girl who's into what they're into, e.g., cuckolding, worshipping black cock, forced bi. So a cuckie has to personally 'advertise', girls aren't mindreaders. Sooner or later, a cuckie will run into a girl who can use his services. Sara

Sunday, June 15, 2008

In Murse Denial !!!!

It's not a murse! It's just a wallet with a practical zip for the coins. And besides, a new female work colleague, who I reckon has taken a shine to the peewee, has promised to buy me a new, man-style wallet for my birthday. So the murse may soon be a thing of the past. --peewee

I so doubt she has taken a shine to the peewee. Theories:

1) She may be embarrassed, since she is new, to even bear that she has to work with a murse-toting hung-like-a-lilliput cuckie boy!

2) Or she be making a joke of it to all the other girls and her friends.

3) Or she may have evil plans for you, once she buys you the wallet, and you feel obligated to her, she will use you in every way possible, and turn you into her personal cuck toy!

The decisive day is coming up very shortly! We will soon know if Office Girl will come thru with the new wallet, or if she was:

4) Just teasing the peewee.

And now, for gratuitous fag-gay titillation, I feature a pic of the world's best footie player, Cristiano Ronaldo, in pink shirt, tight jeans, snake skin belt and murse. I know footie players ride the metrosexual side of homo, but this just looks ga-ga gay!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Of Moobs and Murses


Lately, man-gay terms have been becoming more and more popular. At the club the other nite, I saw a man with a tooled leather murse (a man-purse) and a few girls giggled out "Murse Alert" as he walked by. He looked Argentinian to me. South Americans tend to carry the murses more than USofA Americans. ((To read more about what girls think of murses, click on the post title above to jump to another girl's blog.))

Let's take a look at some of the man-gay lexicon:

Moobs: man-boobs, man-titties

Murse: man purse, a purse a man carries, possibly a metrosexual accessory, possibly a dandy fag must carry certain items for which a wallet simply isn't enough. Only Indiana Jones could carry off the murse, it was where he stored his bullwhip after all

Manpris: Capri length pants for boys

Boyzilian: A Brazilian wax job for boys who need 'manscaping'

Now, let's take a closer look at one of the terms, the one that my girlfriends and I despise the most! Moobs!

My blog's resident sociologist expounds on my moobs theory:

MOOBS = SMALL PENIS


Your remark about man boobs got me thinking. I wonder if there is a link between man boobs, or 'moobs', and penis size.....

It would seem logical that those males that have a small penis, more akin to a clit, are closer, in biological terms, to females.

Moreover, with a small penis a male invariably disappoints his partner sexually, thus inducing a tendancy to compensate by substituting intercourse and manly leisure pursuits for duties, or roles, that historically a 'real man' may not have considered. Taking sole responsibility for tasks such as cleaning, washing, ironing and shopping do very little to replicate the more physical activities (i.e. sports, manual labour and hard sex) reserved for the real men. As such, the males' pectorals are insufficiently exercised and the moobs may blossom as a result.

There would therefore seem to be tentative biological and socio-physiological grounds upon which to support the theory.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Born to be Used

One of my large black cocking loving bois posted on Craigslist that he would love a beautiful woman to be his audience while he served black cock. He thought it was just a fantasy, and that it would never be fulfilled. Much to his surprise, he received responses, and one hot woman did watch him service his mandingo stud. She reports on the fuck 'n' suck session:


Wow! That surpassed my expectations.

I really just thought I was going to see ***** have you worship him and see him fuck you. That would have been awesome. You and ***** blew my mind. I wasn't expecting you to take ***** bareback. The look on your face while you sucked his cock and tongued his ass was one of delight. You like servicing men. You told me that you aren't attracted to men. I disagree. I think you love guys. I could tell you loved the taste of him. You loved his ass, his crotch, his feet, and I even saw you breath in and smile right before you licked his armpits clean.

After he fucked you I saw your ass wide open. I saw his cum dribbling out of you. I was so turned on. No man would allow themselves to be used in that way.

Then ***** took the aluminum baseball bat and showed it to you. He had you suck on the fat end and told you where it was going to go. You didn't resist. You bent over and took it. I know it hurt you, but you didn't scream or resist at all. That is why when I saw you crying as he was raping your ass with the baseball bat I had to lick the tear off your face.

I had to touch you when you were being used that way. I stroked your balls and when you started to get hard. I was so turned on by the fact that while being raped by the fat end of a baseball bat that you could get hard that I almost sucked on your cock. That is why I squeezed them they way I did. I know that hurt and I put you in pain, but it was either that or suck on your cock, which would have been wrong. You know what I mean? You aren't a man, you aren't someone who should enjoy sex, you were obviously born to be used.

Love to see you again soon, pig.

Friday, June 06, 2008

June's Loser of the Month: Dadgum Loser!


Dear Sara, I am a big fan of you and your blogs. Please vote me your June Loser. Here are 20 years of reasons why:

My first wife made me build her a house, I'm a builder/remodeler and I built her a house, then she called me while I was at a homebuilder's convention in Las Vegas. She said she was screwing her big-dick boyfriend in our house, actually she was yelling "I'm screwing Paul in the house you built for me", told me not to come home because Paul was moving in. I thought Paul was a friend of mine. Talk about getting stabbed in the back. The wife had Polaroid pictures of me sucking her realistic strap-on and said they made me look like I was sucking cock. She said she would send the pictures to my family, friends, if I didn't give her the house in the divorce settlement. So I did. I figured I could just build another one.

So I met this divorcee. She was a hot one. At first. Then there was no sex. But by that time I had moved into her house and she had me remodeling it. I put in a new kitchen and bath and built a family room into the basement. Then she broke off with me. I guess I should mention I'm only about 4" and not what women consider sexy.

Then the daughter of the divorcee, she was 22 or 23 at the time, needed a place to live after she came out of a drug treatment program. Her counselor talked to me on the phone and said that ****** was serious about making a new start in life and needed a stable environment and a place to live that wasn't near her old friends and habits. At that point I had moved to a place about 100 miles from her mother's. I had remodeled and flipped a few houses and made some money. I thought I would be doing a good deed by taking in ****** and helping her out and I wouldn't be involved, I'd be a mentor as the counselor called it. Well ****** was doing good for a while, then she slipped into her old ways and started stealing stuff from my house to pawn and buy drugs, then she started hitting me up for money to buy the drugs, because she said "Would I rather see her sell her body to buy them?" So I was giving her money to buy them, and told her she had to come right home and do them here, because it would be safer, but she wouldn't come home for days at a time. Finally, I called her counselor at the facility and they took her back.

Then I met another woman. She needed a job and I hired her to be my office manager for my building company. We were dating or so I thought. I found out later from my accountant she was stealing money from the company. My accountant wanted to have her arrested, but I couldn't go thru with it, I just felt ill. Turned out she had another boyfriend of course and he was in prison, she was using the money to get him drugs and stuff in prison.

My second wife was my housekeeper, started out that way. She was from Mexico and needed citizenship, so I married her to help her out. I told her it was just to help her out and that we would get divorced as soon as she had what she needed to live and work here legally. Then all these other relatives show up. At that time I had a big old house I was living in and remodeling to flip. I put some of them to work unofficially, I was paying in cash to have them help me remodel that house and another one down the street. Someone must have reported seeing alot of Mexicans around and I got busted by INS for employing illegals. Huge fine, nearly bankrupted me. Then when I finally got divorced from my second wife, I had to pay her alot of money because she got herself a slimeball divorce lawyer.

No good deed goes unpunished. I'm a loser and I don't learn my lessons. There hasn't been a woman in my life who hasn't used me. Welp, here is a picture of me as I promised, I don't live in Florida although this picture looks like Florida, I thought it might make you laugh. I went to one of those strip mall photo studios where you can get a portrait done. Truth is I try to stay out of pictures. Probably because I hate myself for being such a dadgum loser.