Happy XXX-giving!

Have a memorable XXX-giving! Gobble some turkey!

One of my fave new blogs!

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians!!!

It's too funny.... Click on this blog post title to jump to MWLLOL....

I submitted Tom Petty as a suggestion, his lesbian fineness made it onto the blog.

Be sure to submit your suggestions!

Wrestleman-ia A Gay Confession

Sara, I confess I was outed as gay in high school. I used to go over to my girlfriend's house and I would wrestle her brother in the basement before I would hang out or go out with her. She totally called me on it, first of all she said she thought wrestling was gay and then she discovered me hard after one of our wrestling match-ups. She called me a faggot and told me she was going to tell everyone. I told her that if she did, it was going to be as bad for her to have a gay brother, and bad for her brother too. She hated her brother, so didn't care about him, but she didn't want to have the mark of having a gay brother. But I'm pretty sure she did tell some of her friends because I would see them looking at me and giggling. And I never had another girlfriend in high school. Every girl I asked out blew me off. I like wrestling guys and then sucking their dicks. I post on Craigslist that I want to wrestle first. Usually big strong tops who want to dom me respond. Thanks for keeping me gay and not letting me think about girls.

Cycle-Sexual!

Man arrested for humping bike! Now that is a new one.... Usually guys will hump pillows, furniture, a sex toy, but a bike??? Yes, we have a cycle-sexual! Maybe his bike had a sheepskin seat! (wink wink) Ewwwwwww or should I say 'Ewwwwwwwe'

Click on the Title of the Blog Post for the story

10 Drinks Faggyboys Should Order!!

This list is modified from Restaurant Miami's list of drinks real men shouldn't order ;-)

Gayboys should order:

1. Light Beer

2. White Zinfandel

3. Drinks with straws, use the straw

4. Jello Shots

5. Fruity, flavored malt beverages

6. Drinks with excessive garnishes

7. Any drink ending with -TINI that isn't a true Martini

8. Cosmo's (Cosmopolitans)

9. Anything topped with whipped cream or cherry

10. A Margarita other than in a Mexican restaurant

His Palfrey Was Found! I love spam

Chillarious spam amuses me....

FW: retard Polynesian VlcAGRA$1.30 receivership ClgALlS$1.50 wooded

Buy online http://www.charlottenorthern.com

the mob broke the line of gold cloaks. Afterward . . . well, his palfrey was found, but not the rider. Aeron snorted. That Steffarion Sparr had been given to the Drowned God soon after birth he had no fumbling at his wine cup with his right. He watched Addam Marbrand charm the girl beside him, Point, a dismal land of bogs and pine barrens; the left-hand ran through hills and fields and woods

Electric Nut Grind -- Japanese Doritos have the right idea!

Electric Nut Grind

Yes, something was lost in translation, but something utterly hilarious was gained. These black corn, chili-taco flavored chips belong to a Japanese Doritos promo called "Tights-kun Doritos" or "Buddy-boy in tights Doritos." Buddy-boy is an animated porn character and fans are collecting variations on the packaging.

The Japanese characters on the far right of the package read, 'denki anma,' or 'revived by electric nut-grind!' I like giving electric nut grinds to fagboys myself....

Stubby's Story -- Part IV of IV

Part IV --

That next week in the hospital I was worried that I would lose both my wonderful balls. All the girls from the tent visited once and we talked in low voices about my accident and laughed at the whole situation, as it was humorous, even to me. The girls loved it. I even let them have a peek at my still swollen ball sac, with new scar, and filled with just one ball for the moment as one was so crushed it had to be removed. The other may survive.

They all assured me that if I lost both my balls I would be in great demand with the ladies and get all the fucks I wanted, as I would be safe. I remember kind of hoping for that. Then the brunette, Cindy, said that without my balls I would not be able to get an erection, which made us all quiet for a moment. They all laughed again when I told them I still had my tongue. Stephanie was the one who remained saddened and quiet, and I told her that I did not blame her.

I was lucky, the doctor said, as I would lose only my left nut. I felt relief, as now I could still get erections. Yes, I had lost my nut, but a big part of me felt it was worth it after seeing the reactions of all those girls. Not that much pain, and great joy from the ladies. It felt good to be exposed to those girls that night.

After I left the hospital, Stephanie made sure I could still get an erection and ejaculate, with some personal hands on attention. She seemed much better after I shot wads of cum all over her face. Still our relationship did not last much longer after that, and her next boyfriend was one of our school’s black students, whose huge dick always amazed the guys in the showers. I was glad for her, and envious of him.

I soon realized that I had a unique set of equipment left between my legs that many of the females in school, and later college, wanted to see for themselves. I found myself enjoying the embarrassing self-humiliation of exposing myself to curious females in out of sight places. Some just looked, some touched, some fondled and got me hard, and a few ended up with cum wads dripping on them. They had all kinds of reactions, my favorite being “Ewwwwwww,” but all of them were pleased and entertained and enjoying themselves. A few woman were sorry about my accident, not wanting to add to my hurt with ridicule, and I can understand that. But they really did not understand how I felt about my own humiliation and embarrassment. The ones that went Ewwwww! The ones that giggled and laughed or teased me about my manhood and story, and enjoyed it, if only for the moment. I did that for them. Pleased them.

Over time, such humiliation by women immediately led to a hard-on for me, and some unique erotic experiences. I wouldn’t have it any other way now, unless I had a thick donkey dick and nuts the size of tennis balls. But that may be in my next life, or now, by having my woman pleasured with a over-endowed stud. Yes, I am a willing cuckold, and several of my girlfriends have loved that.

Such is life! We get the pleasure were we can, and with what we are given. I have had much pleasure over the years from my manly shortcomings. Much like a succubus, I enjoy the pleasure and power the women feel over me, and the excitement I feel from the embarrassment and humiliation many women openly and honestly express about me. Joy in the journey!

Overheard at the Club: A Freudian Slip

Way-gay dude clicking thru his cel phone to find a picture to show his double-douchey friends:

Where is this fucking phomo, I mean photo

Phomo is more like it, I'm sure....

My One Year Blog-iversary!

Yes, 'tis true, I've been blogging for a year! Putting up or putting out nearly 20 posts a month for your entertainment and amusement. Day-um, I should have written a book or something for $. Now my writing skills are truly being tested as I have to crank out my thesis before I can graduate. But a thesis is more than writing, the research, that's the bitch. Oh, if my professors only knew what my real writing passion was....hehe

Stubby's Story -- Part III of IV

Part III ---Those six lusty pound puppies were waiting for my ass to return. When they saw it they kept up their singing and dancing but gathered around my ass to see it better. When my huge balls slipped in and dangled before them they almost lost it but kept up the act. A few of them had never seen balls before and were deliriously delighted. They all relished looking at my ass and balls in the lantern light. Still I wasn’t to get away scott-free.

One of the girls picked up a baseball bat, that they had with them for protection. It was my girlfriend Stephanie, of all people, and she was not wearing her glasses. She stepped to the side and lined up to give my ass one solid smack, and she swung hard. She was very nearsighted without her glasses and her aim was a bit off ... too low. The meat of the bat, the full force of the bat, landed directly upon both of my low-hanging balls!!!

As I blanked out and fell to the ground outside, the girls screamed and laughed, and stifled it quickly so as to not arouse their parents. As I found out from Stephanie later in the hospital, the girls teased Stephanie about her choice of targets and she was embarrassed that she had missed my ass. Then one of them looked out the hole in the tent with a flashlight and saw me laying still on the ground with my shorts around my ankles. They all went out and carried me inside the tent and laid me on my back on a cot, and tried to figure out what to do with me. They also checked to make sure their parents were not coming.

As my shorts had somehow fallen off my ankles as I was being carried in, I lay there unconscious on my back with all my manhood displayed vigorously before the six girls. My erection had stayed for several minutes. They played with it and joked about that. Stephanie said that was all they had done to me, but I could tell she was hiding more and was too embarrassed to say what the girls did. She said they started to worry as my hairless ball sac was changing colors from flesh, to reds and purples, and it started to swell and swell. Someone was sent for ice.

When I awoke I sensed I was on my back, light above me in my eyes, and people around me. My sight bettered and there were six girls standing around my cot smiling, looking down at me, a couple past their lovely bare breasts still exposed. I then felt cold and pain from down below, and look toward my crotch. My God! I was naked from the waist down, with a girl applying a towel with ice in it to what looked like a huge, ugly, purple eggplant hanging below my tiny, shrunken cock. That was my balls!!! What happened to them!!!

The girls held me down as I weakly tried to get up. The bare breasted brunette (Cindy, I believe her name was) told me they would take care of my testicles, and giggled, followed by all the rest except Stephanie. They almost did take care of them, for good. Stephanie was mortified at what she had done, and when she had found out it was me the girls teased her unmercively about how she treated her boyfriend, and her method of birth control - castration by baseball bat.

Into the early morning they tended and teased me, and I found myself enjoying the humiliating attention from the girls. The ice helped the pain, and with some of their laughter at my embarrassing position I had one erection after another. They commented on how much difference my tiny flaccid cock was compared to my hard-on. Some of the girls compared their boyfriends to me, and I came up short, but that was Stephanie’s problem, they laughed. My injury had not gotten better with the hours. My ball sac was hideously colored and swollen and we all knew I had to go to the hospital.

We came up with a story to cover the injury and I made them all swear to secrecy (which lasted just a few days with their other girlfriends). After finding my shorts, I painfully made my way back to my tent, got up early and hobbled down to the camp first aid shack and found the lady acting as our first aid nurse. When I dropped my shorts, at her request to show her my injury, she about fainted. I told her about how I had decided to climb a tree last night to get high and see the stars, how I had slipped and lost my hold, and fell several feet landing on a branch with my crotch and balls. They all bought it.

Overheard at the Club: Odor Eaters

Dude to 2 friends: (sniffs the air) I smell pussy!!!!

Hmmm I smell a dude who isn't getting any.....

Outmanned by Peewee! The newest story by GayWayne!

OUTMANNED BY PEEWEE

(or How I rediscovered PeeWee's BIG adventure)

Sara, have you ever seen an episode of Peewee's Playhouse? You know the guy who got caught jerking-off in a porno house and got his show cancelled. Well in recent years, the old show started to reappear on syndicated channels. I found it while channel surfing and got hooked again. My ex-girlfriend Sally caught me watching it and goofed on me about having a crush on a little sissyboy. I just ignored her.

Well one morning I went out to mow my front lawn and there was Sally catching the sunrays. (She did look hot). Since she had an apartment, she didn't have a place to tan, and hated the fake tans from tanning beds. She said she had a birthday surprise for me and what do you know on the next lawn chair was the one and only Peewee talking doll. She said Happy Birthday and told me she got him dirt cheap at a yard sale, because when you pull the string in back he just giggled instead of talking. She said "He is all yours. Please give him plenty of love". I meekly smiled. I told her a better birthday present would be a hot French kiss from her. She said no way. I said, "Well you gave one to that black guy who groped you at Hooters" (where she works as a waitress). She said, "I have to be friendly to all of the customers, those are the rules. Anyway, I bet you were checking out the bulge in his pants". I said, "Yeah right. It's still my birthday." I persisted. She knew I cornered her on that one. Her sexy scheming eyes looked around and then she said "Alright you won". "Really?" This was to good to be true. "But first you have practice". "On who?" I replied. "On him". She lifted up the Peewee doll and pushed it in front of my face.

RECREATING CRUEL INTENTIONS

Sally said, "To kiss me you first have to practice on him". (the doll) I said, "Thats rather gay?" She said, "Do you want to learn or not". Then it hit me. By wearing sexy sunglasses, Sally wanted to recreate the kiss scene from the movie "CRUEL INTENTIONS". (That hot scene you can can find on YOUTUBE). You know where Sarah Michelle Gellar (BUFFY) teaches airhead Selma Blair how to kiss, so she can use it on her black boyfriend.

I played along, acting like Selma I said, "Okay". I felt it would be worth it, if that's what I had to do to get a sloppy wet French kiss from Sally. Sally said, "Good now wet your lips and gently kiss Peewee on the lips". I went ahead and did it to get it over with and kissed the doll while Sally held it in front of me. Then she said, "See that wasn't so scary". Playing Selma, I said in a high-pitched voice, shaking my head up and down with a smile, "Why it was nothing". Sally said, "Okay now kiss him again, but only this time I want to stick your tongue all the way down Peewee's throat". I said "Are you for real?" Her quiet angry stare made me realize I better not fool with her. So I did what Sally told me to do. I could barely fit my tongue in his mouth, never mind down his throat. (GUYS DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME) Sally commanded, "Push further. More, C'mon you can do better then that". Even though I was choking, I somehow managed to stretch out my tongue all the way down his throat. Sally persisted, "FURTHER c'mon show me what a little fairy you really are. Push further. Is that as far as you can really go?" I shook my head ready to throw up. "Are you sure? Good. Hold it there." She pulled the string in back of the doll and he starting giggling. The sound went right through my tongue and down my throat. Sally quickly pulled out her cell phone / camera and snapped a close-up shot of me French kissing Peewee. She flipped her cell phone shut, and left me saying, "My girlfriends are going to love this picture". God, my reputation as a macho man was now ruined.

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL?

Later that afternoon Sally called and said her girlfriends were coming over to give me my birthday present. I said to myself, yeah right, not after she tells them what I did. So later that day, I gave myself a birthday treat, a bowl of strawberry jello with lots of whipped cream, sitting out on my front lawn with my shades on and my little American flag waving over me. (That I got for Columbus Day weekend) When all of a sudden three hot looking girls drove up in a car who recognized as Sally's girlfriends.... They got out of the car and said, "There he is". I said to myself, hmmm she must have not told them what happened. You sold yourself short. See there is light at the other end of the tunnel. You just had to wait a bit longer, that's all, and now you're going to have a hot orgy for your birthday. They all ran to me screaming with lust. Triumph! But then they ran past me and and rushed over to Peewee. The girls picked him up, holding him like a baby, passing him back and forth saying how cute he was. I was crushed. I knew that my manhood had finally hit rock bottom. I could not even compete against a little gay dummy who just giggles. I allowed myself to give one last try."Can I get you girls anything?" Without looking up from the dummy, one of them said, "Yeah get us some beers". I did what I was told.

JEFF STRYKER

When I came out of the house with a tray of beers, the girls were all back in the car. I said "Where are you going?" They said they had to get all dolled up for Ladies Night at BOBBY COX. I said that's a fag joint. They said, "That's why we are expecting you to be there. By the way, we just loved the picture of you kissing Peewee. Happy Birthday! We left you your present. Ta Ta". They drove off laughing and waving goodbye. Then I noticed my little American flag was missing along with my can of whipped cream and my sunglasses too. I looked behind me and knew that I should have known better. There was Peewee sitting there with my shades on with my flag wrapped around him. Disgraceful. They must have gotten the idea from the website: LOVERBOYS USA. You know where the male strippers wear a flag to hide their goods. I opened up the flag and was shocked to find a rather large Jeff Stryker dildo with with lots of whipped cream on it and a string wrapped around it and tag attached saying: Happy Birthday Wayne. I lamented to myself, it's my birthday and I don't have a girl to make love to tonight. So I said an Our father and Hail Mary and looked to my left and right side of me. Crossed my heart and said God forgive me but waste not want not I must not waste the whipped cream. I put my head under the flag. THE END.

P.S. MONTREAL MEAT: CUMMING SOON!!!! (Wayne goes back to Montreal to humiliate himself further in the gay district!)

The Toothpaste Was Already Out of the Tube!

Republican State Rep Richard Curtis resigned after a police report detailing a confession about his involvement with a male hooker was made public. He claimed the hooker, Cody Castagna, was trying to blackmail him for $1,000, and if Curtis didn't pay up, Castagna was going to go to Curtis' wife with proof of their gay sex affair.

The two first bumped uglies at a Spokane, Washington adult store, known as the Hollywood Erotic Boutique. Classy. After the meeting, Curtis took Cody back to his hotel room and gave him $100, but stated to police the $100 was not payment for sex even tho Cody anal sexed him.

When Cody was interviewed by the cops, he stated that 'Richie' was a 'freak' and liked to wear women's clothes. Cody said 'Richie' wore red stockings and a black sequined lingerie top to the sex store underneath his normal clothes. This was confirmed by a clerk at the store who said that he observed Curtis wearing women's lingerie while receiving oral sex from an unidentified man in one of the movie viewing booths inside the store. The clerk did not know who Curtis was. Cody also claimed that the $1,000 was mentioned as a full payment for his services, for which $100 was only a down payment.

Ironically, Curtis wanted the lead detective to keep the story 'quiet' and did not want to press charges against Castagna. But Detective Tim Madsen told him, 'the toothpaste was already out of the tube'.

And just how hypocritical was this legislator? Curtis had voted against domestic partnerships for gay couples and opposed a bill that would have outlawed discrimination based on sexual preferences. He also has since stated that he isn't gay and that he was just trying to help out a less fortunate individual (Castagna).





I'm tired of this politico hypocrisy, if you're gay or want to have gay sex, just do it, don't be sorry about it, don't deny it, don't legislate against it! Sara

Surgery for Mr. Dick?

One of my blog readers lamented that it was too bad small-dicked guys don't have surgical alternatives. Well they do, but dick surgery and penile implants don't yield more than an inch, which certainly doesn't launch a guy into the 'fuckability zone'. Plus what girl wants a guy who had dick surgery anyway? There are better ways to spend $10,000!!!! On the girl, haha. So my faithful reader sent me this picture of a top heavy FSU girl, he thinks I bear a passing resemblance. Is this what I would look like with breast-o-sauruses?

Heidi Klum -- Size Queen!

"I know a lot of people talk about Seal's bicycle shorts, but it is the truth! That is what he was wearing the first time I met him and I was overwhelmed."

Heidi Klum gushed about Seal's anatomical gifts on Oprah. "When I saw him, I was like, wow! He is different and so tall and dark and just handsome. I saw the package – and I mean the whole package, literally. I was like, 'That is a man.'"

On retrospect, she's glad she 'seized' ummmm, the moment! "I just think if you have an emotion and you let that go that moment might pass," she said. "If you don't open the door for the person to come in, it would have just been like, 'Nice to meet you goodbye.'"

Make me famous on MYSPACE!

Calling all sluts sissies slaves losers wimps underhung & hungover!!!

Join my MYSPACE page. Send me a friends request. Identify yourself so I know who you are on Niteflirt.

My page is under construction, but will have more going on shortly....Click my link below....

Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

Jerk-Off Pet Strikes Again!

My jerk-off pet likes to find exciting and kinky places to jerk off for me. Perhaps you remember an earlier post where he jerked off on a ski lift, without getting frostbite! Well his latest spurt was at a theme park, on a ride. He had an audience (his 'date' who he probably scared away due to his tater tot size).

Stubby's Story -- Part II of IV

PART TWO -------The night was sweltering hot, humid, with everyone sweating in their cots trying to sleep. Mixed music from a couple places could barely be heard in our tent drifting through the dense foliage of the woods. Soon after dark I left the tent for my excursion to the girls’ tent, having traced out a curved path in my mind through the woods to circle around the parents camp area. It was so warm I was wearing just a tee shirt, tennis shorts, and sneakers, and still I was sweating, my hot heavy balls dangling low. I was so excited by the risk I was taking.

It took awhile, but in the dark I zeroed in on a tent that seemed very active. All the other tents within sight were dark, probably empty. Music was rolling out of the well light interior of the tent into the woods and there was the sound of many female voices having great fun. My path had taken me toward the back of the tent’s glowing canvas fabric. Shadows of girls move on the canvas. It just so happened that this tent had some of the fabric ripped in the back so the canvas flap hung down exposing a squarish hole about 18 inches across and a couple feet off the ground. I made my way to that hole and from a few feet away peered inside.

Wow! I almost blurted out. I could only see a patch of the inside, but the girls were dancing and singing to the music around the center of the large tent in their panties and bras, and some had taken their bras off! Stephanie, sans her glasses and bra, was really wild. I had an instant hard-on, and just watched in pure joy for what seemed like heavenly hours. Then I had a wicked thought.

I approached the tent, turned around, dropped my shorts and stuck my big sweaty ass up to the hole of the tent and stuck my ass inside. It was a tight fit but my ass when in, and I waited for a reaction. I did not wait long. Inside the girls started screaming and squealing in excitement, so loud! I waited a couple seconds then took off into the woods, pulling my shorts back up, and made my way back to my tent in record time without bashing into too many trees.

The next day, talking with Stephanie, she told me that someone had mooned them, to their great joy. They screamed so loud their parents came over to check the noise out. The girls told them they had seen a skunk, and all was forgotten by the parents who warily made their way back to their camp area looking for the little varmint. I was in the clear. I did not tell Stephanie what I had done and just enjoyed her story about the incident and what the girls said about that ass. By the time we parted, after several kisses and fondling, I decided to pay another visit to their tent that night. She didn’t mention they were dancing around half naked.

So that evening I retraced my route to their tent, dress like the night before. It was like deja vue, the night so hot and humid, as the music, dancing and singing were emanating from the tent. I peered in and watched. This time they were all bra-less, their panties so colorful, and I saw some beer cans in the hands. Little did I know they were reenacting the previous night in the hopes my ass would return. They were ready for me.

Through the hole in the back of their tent, I watched with lusty joy as the girls danced and sang to the music on the radio, their varied breasts bobbing and bouncing about. Stephanie’s boobs were fantastic! My cock was rock hard! I got my horny nerve up and stepped over to the tent, dropped my sweaty shorts and stuck my bare ass into the hole and inside. I waited and longed for their loud reaction.

Several seconds passed and they had not stop their singing and dancing about on the wood floor. Maybe they had not seen me, I thought, and pushed my ass even further into the hole, stretching the canvas tight. I pushed so far I could feel my big, hot, sweaty balls slip past the canvas wall and into the tent. I could feel them inside the tent hanging heavy and very low, brushing against the inside canvas, my rigid cock throbbing on the outside of the tent. Several more seconds passed and nothing changed from inside the tent.

Then my memory of the moment stopped with a short, sharp flash of pain, and I vaguely remember falling to the dark earth. I learned later what happened in those few moments.

Tom from Myspace needs to be my bitch!

OK we all know Tom, the geeky guy who everyone gets as their first friend when they sign up on Myspace. Supposedly Tom is real, and is one of the dotcomboys who made big bank when Myspace was bought out for billions. So yes, it would be fun to have Tom as my rich little bitchboy. Just looking at Tom, I think he probably wanks it too much, spends hours surfing internet porn, and really needs a bossy girl to keep him under her thumb. So Tom, if you should happen to read my little blog entry, and it made your lil peen hard, it's playtime!

Stubby's Story Part I of IV

"A Girl, A Bat, and a Life of Unexpected Pleasures"

A true story by 'John Ridgeling'

When I was in high school I thought my small cock would grow much bigger as I became a man. Who knew the man would get much, much bigger and my cock would stay the same baby length and just get stubbier. Still, I had a big set of hanging balls that, in the right situations, I loved to expose to as many of those wonderful, curious girls that I could. They always seemed to enjoy the surprise and shock of seeing my small cock and big dangling balls! Then I met Stephanie at summer camp and she would change my life with women forever. That summer in the woods there were a large group of scouts, parents, and a group of six teen angels, daughters of the parents. The girls had one large wall tent, one among dozens of tents throughout the large, woodsy camp. I went to school with most of the girls, including Stephanie, who I had my eye on, and she on me. We all spent a week at the camp that summer in Maryland, I with the boy scout group, and the six girls, well, on their own as their parents would not leave them home. Those six girls teased the scouts every chance they could get. The girls tent was well away from the scouts group of tents, and a decent distance away from the parents cottages and tents. The girls had pretty much isolated themselves from everyone, for their own lusty reasons. My schoolmate Stephanie and I had met a few times during the week when I could get away from scouting rituals, and we become an item. She was tall with long blonde hair, glasses, and a great looking body. That week, she and I kissed for the first time, several times. She even let me fondle her gorgeous breasts about mid-week, near the camps chow hall one evening. Toward the end of the week I was real horny and decided to pay her a visit one night, without telling her.
END OF PART ONE

Speaking of Sex Dolls....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

"Looking for stunningly gorgeous fuckdoll"

Annoying sleaze contacts me. Nevermind that I'm not an escort, since he's new to Niteflirt, he probably doesn't realize this isn't Eros-guide. His cut&paste email:

I travel alot. I want a fuckdoll to show up to my hotel. You be there to fuck. Try not to talk unless you're good at talking dirty. Let's have some NSA fun. No encumbrances.

My response:

Today is your lucky day. You contacted the right girl even tho you didn't read my listings. Do I have a fuckdoll for you.

Fuck Doll

I like the Jesse Jane model myself. It has hair you can pull. So bring your fuckdoll to a hotel room and blow it up, don't forget your bicycle pump! I'll show up at your hotel room with one of my friends. We'll set you back several thousand to watch you fuck your dolly. If you're lucky, we'll laugh and cheer you on!

Expect us to drink room service champagne and eat the $20 jar of macadamia nuts from the mini-bar. Maybe we'll take digital pictures so you can always remember how much fun it was to stick your dickie into the fuckdoll's holes. You asked for NSA and no encumbrances, what better fuckdoll than one you can throw away when you're done!

Questions for Sara (submitted by a blog reader)

1.Do you have a real boyfriend (not a fag like me) or is Nicole your primary lover?

Nicole is my primary female 'pussy pal'. I do have 'service males' with big cocks who take care of my 'fucking' needs. Right now I don't have time to give a full-time boyfriend, meaning one who would want a romantic, intimate, emotional connection to me. I'm not really into mushy shit anyway. I like sex, I love sex! Hot sex with hot girls or big cocks.

2.What do you look for when you or Nicole when pick a black lover for the night? What attracts you to him?

Well we've actually shared the same BBC. We want them hot, Kanye West looking, with attitude and a big cock. And 'for the night' is the operative word, we are basically using BBC as a supersized sex toy for our pussies.

3. Would you like to see a beachclub for whitegirls and their black lovers only and the only white guys that are their are dressed up as frenchmaids to better serve you both? Could Nicole dig that?

I think that would be an awesome club in Jamaica. Call it Club Zebra haha. Nicole would definitely get into it. I've heard there are some private clubs like this, but haven't been able to confirm.


4. Do you two like to see whiteboys humiliated by your black lovers?

Yes, inferior little clittie-dicked whiteboys need to be put in their place!!!!
But we don't believe black is necessarily better than white. There are large white and Latino cocks, they're just more difficult to find. Size Queens are looking for size regardless of color. Black is just a different flavor or should I say 'flava'.

5. With your looks and slim body.I'm surprise you are not a world class model? You can easily have that wristwatch cock fireman in your xtube video instead of talking to silly faggots like me. What is it that attracts you to us sissy gayboys when you can have all the straight hunky handsome men you want?

Alpha females such as myself and my girlfriends keep all men on their proper side of the line in the sand. Fuckable vs. unfuckable. Sissy gayboys are like toys to us. We play with them and then we toss them aside. Or we make them give us $$$. Do you think the fireman has any $$$? Doubtful....

As for modeling, I'm too short to be world class, I have done modeling down here in Miami and occasionally pick up a gig, but as I've blogged before, models at the level at which I model get taken advantage of, especially when desperate for money. Photographers can be sleazy pimps, the only difference is they're holding cameras.

I am not MISTRESS McFETISH!!

The fetishists have crawled into my inbox realm with their needy little fantasies hoping I will so indulge them. No, there won't be kissing of my tootsie toes for free, nor will my 'oldest smelliest heels' that 'Mistress was probably going to throw out anyway' find their way to the little sniffy's mailbox in Stinkweedville, nor will there be pissy panties going out in a ziploc nor will my apartment be cleaned for 4 hours while I sit around and talk on the phone with my girlfriends while ignoring the sissy French maid.

Pay to play or go away!