Mark your calendars: January 27th is my Birthday!

My Mom is having a birthday dinner for me, she'll spend hours slaving over lasagne and tiramisu (dessert). It's her tradition to cook the most favorite meal for her birthday girls (either me or my sister). My sister will be coming down from Whore-lando, if only she could get down Saturday nite. Altho my birthday is officially Sunday, my girlfriends are taking me out on Saturday nite, as I'm taking the nite off to par-tay SoBe style. After midnite, it will be my birthday, officially. It's going to be my 25th, shhhhhh I may freeze my age on Niteflirt to 24 'fourever' hahaha.... My 'entourage' will be stopping by the club where Nicole works. I'm a little scared of what evil plan Nicole has in store for me as I've been warned there will be a BIG surprise. Hmmmm I suspect it may involve a big cock....

Panty Bandit

In Pullman, Washington, Garth Flaherty, 24, has been charged with theft and burglary for lifting 1,613 pairs of panties, bras and other women's underwear from campus and apartment laundry rooms. Pity the poor cop who had to count all of them!

Garth pleaded guilty and was sentenced Friday to 45 days, although he may perform 30 days of community service in lieu of jailtime according to the court. Flaherty was arrested after police received a report of a suspicious man hanging out in an apartment complex laundry room. A woman noted his license plate number. And this led police to his apartment, where in his bedroom, police said, they found enough women's underwear to fill five garbage bags.



Police had previously received 12 reports of panty thefts in laundromats where Washington State University is located. "We were kind of concerned about how to match up bras and panties with victims," a police officer said. "Based on the unique descriptions from a couple of women, we can tie him to those thefts. The underwear will be held as evidence until the case is resolved, after which their disposition is uncertain. But would you really want them back?" The police officer asked, then quickly answered, "I would say not."

{Hmmm, I think this means Garth jerked into them, and wasn't just a panty sniffer....from the photo, it looks like he favored slutty thongs!}

The New "Crack"

Nicole needs to stop sending me links to kitten videos on Youtube. Cute kitten videos are the new "crack". Whatever you do, do not go to Youtube and start watching cute kitten vids. You won't be able to stop.... (Or maybe kitten crack is just a girl thing?)

Black Dick Size Check!

Nicole alerted me to a black dick size check last week on VH1's I LOVE NEW YORK 2 Reunion episode. How appropriate as I had spotted Ms. New York in Miami over the holidays with her 'boyfriend' from the show, rigged publicity I'm sure. I even mentioned to some friends how much 'girl looked like a tranny'!



Well, on this special reunion episode, New York's mother, Sister Patterson, was helping triage potential past suitors and weeded out one cafe au lait dude with a dick check. She claimed it was small, but being black, that could mean it was 8", small for a black dude.


Sister Patterson giving the small dick pinkie salute

Dark Montreal Meat Part III -- More Black Cock Adventures in Montreal

fagwayne's cockventure in Montreal cuntinues....

After a few more drinks I got up enough courage to go over to a group of 4 beautiful white ladies before the big black show began at the DARK MONTREAL MEAT NITE CLUB. I fiqured I might have a shot with at least one of them. But three of them spoke only French. Luckily one did speak English. They were all smiling at me which made feel like a stud and made me over-confident. I decided that I must come up with a gimmick to win them over and told them that I had psychic powers and could read their minds easily. The girl who understood english acted interested. So I said to her:

"I bet your French-speaking girlfriend is checking out my cool backpack because I remind her of a good old fashioned manly stud right? Ask her." The English speaking fox with a French-Canadian accent (Denise) translated the message into French.

The other girl just giggled and told Denise what she was really thinking. Denise repeated to me in English:

"OH NO NOTHING OF THE SORT. SHE WONDERED WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT UGLY BACKPACK WHEN YOU WOULD LOOK JUST PERFECTLY NATURAL CARRYING A PINK PURSE?"

As you could imagine, my ego went south but my happy-go-lucky mannish pride prevailed. The third girl who had even wider eyes fixed on me, well I knew she was the chick for me. I put my hand on my forehead and pretended to read her mind and said to Denise:

"I BET YOUR OTHER GIRLFRIEND IS WONDERING IF MY PHOTO APPEARED IN THE NEW 2008 FIREMEN CALENDER OF PLAYGIRL MAGAZINE RIGHT?"

Denise translated. The other girl laughed out loud and told her. Denise repeated:

"NO NO NO. SHE SAID SHE WAS THINKING THAT EVEN IF YOU GREW A FULL LENGTH BEARED OR EVEN WORE A SKI MASK FOR THAT MATTER, THAT YOU STILL WOULD COME ACROSS AS A LITTLE PRISSY FAIRYQUEEN."

I was devastated. But I had to at least try with last girl. You know what they say, third time's the charm. I put my hand on my forehead for the last time and said to Denise:

"I BET YOUR LAST GIRLFRIEND IS WONDERING IF I'M MARRIED OR HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. RIGHT? RIGHT?"

Denise translated then repeated again to me:

"WRONG AGAIN. SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHY AREN'T YOU UP ON STAGE SUCKING BLACK COCK ALONG WITH THE OTHER WHITE FAGS OR ARE YOU WAITING UNTIL AFTER THE SHOW?"

That blew my mind and I felt 5 inches shorter. But I did not see anyone sucking cock. Denise explained to me that her black boyfriend (who was a muscle-bound dancer) told her that before the 11 o'clock show the faggy skinny whiteboys go behind the curtain to suck black cock to get it nice and hard for the white ladies to check out when the black men come out on stage to dance. Denise said that's where I belong because I certainly wasn't going to get any pussy. That's strictly for the black guys TONIGHT.

My world turned upside down since last night and made me realize I had stepped into a Girl's World and had to play by their rules.

THE HOT SHOW BEGINS

The dj said "Girls it's about that time. What did you come for. They chanted BIG BLACK COCK. THE DJ SAID "I can't hear you?" They raised their fists and repeated in a militant chat "BIG BLACK COCK. BIG BLACK COCK..."

Five of the biggest hottest looking muscular black men came out almost naked except for a tiny G-string that hardly covered massive dark meat and all danced to the song "Bringing Sexy Back". The jam-packed female audience went wild and out leashed a loud deafening roar. The incredible size of the huge black cocks was a painful reminder why us a whiteboys were being replaced. We looked so laughable standing next to them muscle to muscle, pound for pound, cock for cock. I knew right there and and then the women would never go back to us white trash. Once you go black saying was true. How did such a bored crowd of girls get so full of life all of a sudden?

The white go-go boy dancers had now all become waiters (or sissy cocktail waitresses) running back and forth to serve drinks for the ladies while they watched the black male strippers. The only tip these whiteboys got was a hard smack on their sissy butts which must have made them feel like prancing little nancyboys. It was indeed a woman's world. These whiteboys had to feel low and degraded and the girls could not give a shit. What goes around... I guess.

After a while many of the girls started dancing. When Denise and her girlfriends came back, they went to their table, took off their hoodies and I saw why they thought the way they did. They were all wearing BBC or ALWAYS BET ON BLACK t-shirts. They looked at whiteboys as whining little queers. I felt if you can't beat them... Join them.

I turned around and pulled up my shirt and my unbelted low-hanging pants were low enough for them to see my girlie thong that read: "BLACK COCK ONLY" They immediately all cracked up and now I was welcome as one of them. It's incredible how much easier to become friends and relax with girls was if you prove to them you're a fag especially a black cock lovin' one. They made me go up to this one girl (they must have known her)to show her my thong. She let out an uncontrollable scream of hysterics which embarrassed me. Five minutes later it seemed like every girl knew that I was a black cock gayboy. They whistled at me. Gave me bent wrist cuffing their hand against their open mouths with their tongues pushing out their cheeks to suggest I take the big one. There's no humiliation like white girls teasing you about being a black cock fag.

When Denise and her girlfriends gave open heavy French kisses to their black boyfriend strippers in front of me, that almost made me cum in my thong. How they could be so cold to me and yet melt in the arms of their big black boyfriends blew my mind. They made me go up and tip the black dancer. When I put the dollar bill in his G-string I could not get over the enormous size of his thick black cock which seemed twice the size when up close. I stared at it in disbelief. He winked at Denise and grabbed the back of my head and pushed my face right into his cock. I had to admit that his thick beautiful cock felt strangely good against my face as all the girls screamed in laughter, giving each other the high five. I felt so damn embarrassed. My face turned 20 shades redder.

I had to go back a couple of more times to do it again. I truly loved hearing the girls laugh at me as much as his fat cock being pushed into my face. I loved it. I needed more. The fourth time I came back to give him a dollar bill as he was on the platform dancing. He put his leg over my head and pulled my my face harder into his beautiful superior cock. Some of the girls were yelling "What a fucking queer!" I was humiliated. But my face against his sweet massive sausage felt so unbelievably sensational. I was high on black cock.

When I finally went up to get a drink at the bar one of the girls from the college group lifted up my shirt to see if it was true (as her girlfriend told) if I was wearing a BLACK COCK THONG. She saw it in disbelief let out a scream. Also everytime I went near the girl I flashed by the wall she would just scream at me again uncontrollably. When I finally got my drink I thought I would be cutesie and flashed the girl whose back was facing me. I tapped her on her shoulder. When she turned around I flashed her to show off my thong, I suddenly realized it was Danielle the lady dancer who I was a smart ass to last night at the female strip club.

conclusion cumming sooooon.....

Bukkake and Gukken

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DateaCrossdresser.com

I know some of you CDs who I talk with lament about not having any dates. Well, here's your chance to hook up. Let me know if any of you join and have any luck!

The Cat Power Dilemma

Celebrity sightings are a daily or nightly happening in Miami. But most SoFlo people tend to half ignore celebs here which is one reason why celebs party Miami. They aren't under the NY or LA magnifying glass, sizzling like ants. Miami is a snooty city and peeps tend to think they are just as fabulous or legendary in their own mind and don't kiss celebrity ass. However, my friends and I will share celebrity spottings, but our impressions aren't always kind: he looks shorter in person! she looks fugly without make-up! she looks like a tranny!

Still, there is one person I keep hoping I will run into in Miami Beach. Cat Power, one of my favorite singers, relo'd here from NYC a few years ago. Even tho I haven't seen her yet, I have wondered what I would say to her if I did. Corny ---> I love your music! Stupid ----> Hi! Dumb -----> Um are you Cat Power?

So maybe it's better I don't run into her....

Just Say No to NOFI?

As South Beach is also known as SOBE, lately the area NOrth of FIfth street, most of which was formerly called Flamingo Park, has been dubbed NOFI. Has it been planted by real estate developers (REDS) to push a trendier hipster image? Is it un-trendy to say your 'nabe' is Flamingo Park, and 'in' to say: I'm in NOFI? I hate subscribing to trends like this, but I'm all for the real estate bubble not to burst and splatter all over everyone's collective face, empty buildings and half-finished remodels aren't good for the area.

"Look everyone, I have a Cock!

One of my NF callers, sissy Ashley, pointed out something interesting to me, when he sees sex-kittens driving big-ass SUVs, it's like they're wearing strap-ons, blasting: "Look everyone, I have a cock!" Down here in Miami, there are lots of hot bitches driving Escalades and Hummers. Ashley reports his area is overpopulated with chicks driving Chevy Suburbans. Make that: driving 3 ton strap-ons. Think of it as an equation: If small dicked losers drive Red Corvettes, hotties drive Hummers.

Vince Does Vanilla

When I see a dude eating a vanilla softee ice cream cone like this, I can only think of one thing, how much he'd rather be doing it to a cock. In this case, the dude is Vince Vaughan hmmmm....

BubbleCUM 2007 Winner for Best Spum Recipe!!!

A blog reader pointed out what a delish treat it would be if a fagboy would pre-chew a piece of bubble gum, spum on it, put it back in his mouth, and blow cum bubbles! Oh yes, I would love it if a cum bubble blew up and stuck to a fagboy's face! Send a pic if it does!

The Extenze Infomercial Sluts Love Big Cock!

How can I get on the next infomercial?!?! Note to self: Call my modeling agency. Most of these girls, from what I read on the net (the source of all knowledge), were Hawaiian Tropic or Lingerie Bowl girls. Unfortunately, I don't think I have enough boobage to do either of those....

But I love girls who say they've broken up with guys whose dicks weren't big enough for them! That size matters! And that any girl who says it doesn't is lying!

This infomercial is a Size Queen sofa party with a gay host even. I mean check him. Looks like he'd rather be sucking cock.



I don't care if the pills even work. One of my callers say they don't. He tried for a month and didn't see any difference. According to the infomercial and all of the commercials, Extenze has been formulated to act on "that certain part" of the male body and that "it's science!" What can you expect? A dick is just spongy tissue with alot of blood vessels. I can't imagine that Extenze can make the dick larger, how can it make more blood get into the dick and keep it there, so much more, that it would make the dick larger by inches? Don't you think pharmaceutical companies would be all over a drug that could grow a dick like a chia pet? Look at the little blue pill. Viagra acts on the blood vessels. But it doesn't make a dick get larger, just get hard or stay hard longer.

All I know is, that girls want and need big cocks. And it's on tv now. Small dick losers should watch and jack off in humiliation.

Tacky subliminal set dressing, check out the brown vino bottles in the background: small, medium, large and ditto with the candle holders on the coffee table in front of the Size Queens.

Interview with the Stinkbob!

Stinkbob had no competition for LOSER of the YEAR. He got all but one vote. One voter actually thought Yes-sir Assfat should take the dubious honor. It was probably Assfat voting for himself. So I gave Stinkbob a few NF minutes so I could interview the LOSER of the YEAR. Don't worry, he wasn't jerkin' the gherkin, because it didn't sound like something was dying on the other end of the phone line.

Stinkbob: I won something?

Sara: Yes, unfortunately....

Stinkbob: Did I win something? Some money?

Sara: Loser of the Year. What did you think Ed McMahon was going to show up at your house with a big cardboard check? You probably wouldn't even open the door. Stinkbob I have some questions for you. This is an interview. Some of these questions come from my blog readers. Why do you have so many locks on your door?

Stinkbob: The neighborhood, it's bad now.

Sara: What's with all the junk in your apartment.

Stinkbob: I keep things, I might need them.

Sara: Um, hmmm. So do you feel like the Loser of the Year?

Stinkbob: Yes.

Nightflirt: 1 minute bitch warning!

Sara: Well Stinkbob, your time is up, any last word for my blog readers?

Stinkbob: Goodbye.

Sara: That's your last word?

Stinkbob: Yes. Goodbye.

Typical Stinkbob!!!!

Any given nite at the club, you will spot....

....South Beach GUIDOS!!!!!

In case any of you missed Sissy Sascha's Comment....

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I'm Pissed I Didn't Get This Doll for XXXmas!!

I would turn him gay in no time, I mean I would have him OUTED in no time, cocksucker! Admit it!

Dark Montreal Meat Part II by Gaywayne!!!

I finally found a parking space without paying because it's free at nite time in Montreal (so why did I get another parking ticket? oh I must have been near a hydrant) So went down the block off of St. Catherine where the Dark Montreal Meat club is. I had to admit I was little scared. The street was dark, lonely, windy, cold and deserted .What girl would come out on a night like this on these unsafe streets to go to the male strip club? I walk down the block and back. I thought I must be on the wrong block. I look at my flier and it said I was not. After worrying about being mugged I looked to the left of me and it had a drawing on the door that looked like a big penis. I thought this got to be it. I must have passed this door twice. I rang the bell and was let in.

I could not believe all the beautiful young girls in the club. What a welcome sight. According to the initials on their sweaters a big group of them came from Montreal University. I bought myself a drink, turned and saw a wimpy little white boy (like the one who passed out the flier on the corner) dancing on stage only to be replaced by another wimpy skinny dancing whiteboy. I came here for this(?) I thought.... To make matters worse, there were a couple of tv screens up on the sides of the stage playing gay porn, two wimpy naked whiteboys giving each other a 69. Now I thought it was cool last nite at the female strip club when their tv show featured two naked girls making out. But to watch boys doing on the screen with a large group of girls there was a little humiliating. After watching a few more boring dancers I realized that they where the same guys on the t.v. screen that made this video.The girls looked a little bored as they were chatting away while drinking and smoking. I also noticed that the waiters were also skinny whiteboys looking and moving awfully faggish. Wearing skimpy G-srings to cover their tiny penises.

I asked the bartender (another skinny whiteboy) "What gives." "How can these wimpy whiteboys hold the attention of all these pretty white girls?" He laughed and said "Do you honestly think they are staying here for them?" I shrugged. "Do you see any of them get tipped yet?" "No." "These whiteboys are strictly a cheap warm-up for the main attraction tonight at eleven." I said what main attraction? The white bartender looked me square in the eye and said, "Do I have to spell it out for you. Don't you know whiteboys have been replaced?" "What do mean by replaced?" I said, a little confused. "Good god man have you been living in the sticks? I mean replaced like the dvd replaced the vhs tapes. Like the ipod replaced the walkman replaced the boombox. Like the cellphone replace rotary phones. Do you get the picture now?" "Yes I get the picture now. Ummm but who replace us?" I said rather dumb-like. He said
"Why it's those big black guys from Jamaica who are hung like a horse and are now coming in droves and making us white bois look like little sissy girlie-men. We're afraid that soon are little white manly asses will be kicked out. If our white boss lady gets more complaints that the girls are getting sick of us. Each day more of them want real men. Not a cheap white imitation of a man. Why do you think so many of us white dudes are turning gay in a big way?" "Why?" "Because white pussy is now strictly off limits to us. More and more white girls prefer black and may only keep us around for a joke, a few laughs like a homo show here, and of course for money." I said "Now I get you." I begin to see the big picture. Why the Jamaican guys come all the way up here where it's freezing cold. I guess it goes back to the French colonies of the West Indies.

I did a shot of Jack at the bar and made my way to the Men's Room. Inside the stall I took off my underwear and pulled a white thong out of my backpack that said "BLACK COCK ONLY". (No shit) I put on my thongs, crossed my heart and went back out to try to fit in. by Gaywayne

Dark Montreal Meat Part I by Gaywayne!!!

(DEDICATED TO NICOLE and all the female dancers who put up with male assholes)


IT was off to the north country of the French GAYLANDS. Saint Catherine Street (Gay district shhhh) in good old Montreal. When I got there I had myself a big dinner at a popular French restaurant in downtown historic district. I went to Montreal because I know the female strippers love the Americans (for their money, even though the exchange rate isn't favorable for the dollar, Americans tend to be more generous tippers than the stingy Quebecois). At one topless club I met five American white guys besides the dance table who were there to party and get drunk, as I was, so I felt right at home.

One hot beautiful blonde named Danielle came over to me and asked if I wanted a lap dance? Being a little tipsy and trying to act cool with my new American buddies, I said, "Hey why are there so many ugly girls in this place tonight? Is that all the best Montreal has to offer?" Danielle said "I beg your pardon?" Hearing a roar of laughter from the guys I knew I was on a roll and said "Hey I seen you shaking it up to that black guy over there. You girls aren't darkie lovers are ya?"
More laughter. Danielle spit this time with, "That man is a paying customer and I don't see what that business is of yours..." I slapped her bottom and replied, "Shove off blondie you're making me bored. She walked away in humiliation. One guy said, "Oh I think you hurt her feelings." "Fuck her." We all cheered and made a toast to that and swallowed our drinks down.

One hot black girl with huge jugs and a stacked booty came up and said for only ten bucks we could have five licks each of her fine ass. I hesitated about that I did not know if she had a disease or something. The guys said, c'mon it will be fun. So one by one they followed her into a booth. The first guy came out giving us the thumbs up so the next guy went in and so on. When it was my turn I downed a shot of Jack and went in the booth. I did not see the black girl, but when I looked up at the low ceiling I saw a 5x5 hole with her asshole pressed on top of the cut-out. I was disappointed I was hoping for her pussy. I gave her 5 licks and yelled "rip-off" and went to the men's room and took a whizz.

When we had our fair share of ass and tits we left. I saw the blonde girl Danielle at the exit door with a big muscular black guy with an earring, I guess a bouncer. Danielle said "For guys who not into interracial love, it was funny to see you all follow the black girl into the booth." I replied rather arrogantly, "Well it's OK if a guy does it." The boys laughed as we walked out of that strip club. We hit a couple of more bars and then went our separate ways. I could not wait to get back to the hotel after walking those cold windy streets when I noticed a skinny little effeminate white guy passing out fliers at the corner. I took one from him. He said nothing to me.

It read: "It's Ladies Nite Saturday 8 p.m. (Tomorrow) at the D.M.M. featuring: Hot male burlesque dancers. Gentlemen also welcomed." In smaller print below it read D.M.M. meaning Dark Montreal Meat. I said to myself -- What bullshit. Only girls should be strippers. Guys who strip must be fags. I think I'll go there just to make fun of them and look cool in front of all those girls.

I woke up the next morning hearing loud banging at my hotel door saying 11am is check-out time. I had a huge headache and a hangover and no aspirin. There was also a parking ticket on my car's windshield. I looked inside my wallet. I asked myself how did I spent that much money? And knew if I was going again to another nightclub tonite I would have just hang out all day on the streets of cold and lonely Montreal and eat at McDonald's and sleep in my car after the club closed to sober up so I would not get a DUI.

To kill time, I checked out all the shops on St. Catherine. Looked at a few Cathedrals and went to an Art Museum feeling lousy all day. A few beggars asked for me for money (mostly teenagers, probably runaways doing drugs). Last time I told them to get a job, but this time I told myself one day I could be in their position and spared some change.

Around evening time when it was getting dark I spent my last few long hours at the Saint Laurence pier. I asked two girls who were making out on the other's lap what time it was. When started to rain hard, I sat in my car for another few hours wondering why I keep coming back here. Driving six hundred miles only to be stopped at the border and wait another hour or two to cross, as if I'm a terrorist or something just because I said that I'm an overnight tourist sight-seeing. What am I supposed to tell those guards? I'm hungry for pussy? Do the Gay guys say "I come to Montreal city because hungry for French-Canadian cock?" Last time I came here they pulled out my French maid uniform (that I put on to wear at a niteclub for Halloween) from my trunk and the lady guard asked, "Where's the woman?" I said that it was a present for my girlfriend. (I lied.) Once I brought a squirting life-like-cock at a porno shop in Montreal. Coming home, I was so embarrassed when the guards opened up the package and spent a long time, laughing, calling over other guards pretending to look inside of it for drugs. I thought if I'm coming here for humiliation I'm doing a good job. Back to my Saturday nite....I tried to nap as the last lonely, but horny hour passed. Finally my clock on the dashboard read 8p.m. I could not believe the time had arrived. So I started up my car on the pier drove off to St. Catherine Street dying for action and excitement.

This true story now gets very embarrassing to tell. Please forgive me -- GayWayne

Tractor Exhaust Pipe!

When would she have seen a tractor exhaust pipe, did she grow up on a farm? Posh Spice claims that the David Beckham photo for an Emporio Armani ad was not touched up to make his member look ginormous.

"He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It's like a tractor exhaust pipe!"

Woman has over 200 Orgasms a Day without Sexxx!

Orgasm Girl

Click on the blog link to read the sexxxy story. Even something simple like riding in the car or her cell phone on vibrate can make her cummmm. I've often thought a hybrid cell phone / vibrator would be a hot invention, but I'd probably burn it out. I'd want to keep it against my clit while driving! Talk about being 'a cell phone distracted driver'. But what I want to know is, if she can have 200 orgasms a day without sex, how many orgasms can she have during sex!

Photo credit UK's News-of-the-World

The Enchanted Broccoli Forest - This Week's Recipe Using SPUM

The recipe itself can be picked up on any Google search. But your special topping is to jizz on the trees! Lick off the gizz, suck the broccoli florets. Enjoy!

Don we now our gay apparel !!

A bloggie sent this to me. Apparently he is dreaming of a gay Christmas....

A Fairy Party?

We are counseled at school to keep our Myspace and Facebook pages tame, that is until we are, at long last, hired for our first real jobs. But what about after? Can we cut loose and indulge our bad selves? This little tink twink put this pic up on his Myspace, one of his co-workers happened to be cruising his Myspace page, grabbed the image and sent it out (with an interesting caption) to everyone on-the-job. The tinkerbell was so embarrassed that he wanted to sue for invasion of privacy, but apparently, what is in the public realm, is no longer private. So be careful of what you put on your Myspace or Facebook pages. Unless you want to be outed or humiliated, which might be what I would want you to do anyway.

hmmm fairies drink Busch Lite? well I can't resist the cliche and say it would keep them lite on their toes...Sara

Sissy Decor-ama

Sara, I am following your instructions. I am selling my masculine bedroom furniture on Craigslist and I'm buying all pink frilly sissy stuff to redecorate and have the perfect sissy bedroom. Then you will know I can never bring a woman home to my condo again. I will be a sissy forever.