The Final Installment to: Dark Montreal Meat -- by Gaywayne

When Danielle the lady stripper at the T&A club, who I humiliated the night before, looked at me, I realized my cover as a straight guy was over. She railed at me: "So you really are a closet fag aren't you? I mean why else would you be at a male strip joint tonight wearing a a little thong that says Black Cock Only. Mmmmmm?" For the first time in my life I was speechless and felt extremely embarrassed. "I'm surprised you were at a straight guys club you gay fuck when you really crave the dark sausage." I knew my turn for humiliation had now arrived.

Danielle went on: "Remember last night when you and your five whiteboy friends paid money to the black female dancer so you culd lick out her asshole in the little cutout from the ceiling in the booth?" "Yes how could I forget?" " Well that was not really her asshole. It was my big black hung stud lover who's on stage dancing right now. So that makes all you guys who said you loved it, a bunch of fucking white fags for a black man's asshole." I swallowed hard as one of her girlfriends spit out her drink from laughing so hard. She said, "So you like licking a black man's asshole you fucking white fairy? Them maybe you'll love his front member too." With that her black lover came off stage and joined us.

Danielle said, "Hey Reggie, you have another gay customer!" I blushed with my head down. Reggie said, "Well I just love little whiteboys who are caught in the web of my big black Johnson. And you will be." He grabbed me by my arm and said, "We Jamaicans just love your white women. Now you're gonna see what you been missing. You will never want white pussy again. I promise. Cough up $20 bucks punk." Danielle said: "I have to see this!" All the Montreal college girls who knew what was going on cheered us on as the three of us headed towards the back booth.

Once in the booth Reggie slowly rolled down his tight g-string which made my mouth water as he exposed his enormous beautiful black cock as Danielle and I sat down and he stood up. Reggie said: "So what do you think whiteboy?" I said: "Well for the first time, sir, I feel so ashamed to to be a whiteboy." They laughed. "Describe his manly beauty." Danielle said. I said: "Sir, I just love the way those big think veins stick out of your gorgeous long thick trunk of a cock." "Go on." "I also love the romantic huge mushroom head of you prick, Sir, and the thick kinky pubic hair make a lovely frame for the background of your big willie." They both cracked up.

His master prick was looking better by the second. I said "With all due respect Sir. Any whiteboy would die for the right to lick off the sweat off your wonderful moist balls." LOL. Danielle said: "Now get on your knees and start begging you lowlife white fag." I did as they told me to pucker my lipsticked sissy lips. I said: "I want to thank you, Sir, and all your superior brothers for taking away all the white ladies away from us queenie whiteboys." With that I planted a sweet little picture perfect kiss at the base at Reggie's big cock. A chill went up my spine when Danielle smiled and said: "Oh that's so cute. I love to see you white boys who know your inferior place." I continued... "The white ladies are very smart to replace us white wimpy queers with real men. Beautiful black men at that." Danielle pushed her foot against my head and said: "Beg harder Queer." I begged the big black stud even harder and planted another sweet long loving kiss on his manly black cock. I said: "Sir, can you jerk off in my mouth so I can taste your sweet lovely sperm and prove to all the white girls what cum-breath little white fag I am? Please,`Sir!"

Danielle said: "The black man's cum is too good for you. It's for white women only." Reggie hinted that he did have to take a piss. Danielle demanded: "Open your mouth wide this is what you white boys really deserve! Piss breath!" My heart was pounding furiously. I could not believe it. To be this degraded made me wobbly and weak. He aimed his cock right next to my big open mouth. Danelle said: "You talk alot of piss and now you're going to get it back piss-mouth." I was getting weaker. She said. "Ready now? Then fire away." My mind when blank as I fainted. When I woke up the janitor was chasing me, swinging his mop, the place was closed. I still don't know if I drank any piss. I don't think so. I think fainting saved me from that fate. But all the money was gone from my wallet. THE END by Gaywayne

Getting Laid the Captain Kirk Way

Space pussy, the final frontier....

OK, one of my fans is a Trekkie, yes, he probably has a blow-up doll dressed up as Jeri Ryan and spends every nite cruising and posting in the Star Trek forums. Well... he told me he just bought a book called "Captain Kirk's Guide to Women" and was hoping this might help him get girls in real life. Ummmm hmmmm it might help him seduce Borg hotties or Vulcan bitches in his dreams, but it will not help him score girls on Planet Earth.

Lady Godiva

A fan emailed me a pic the famous painting of Lady Godiva on her horse and said he thought I looked alot like Lady G. Thoughts?

Lady Godiva's Brief Bio

c.1040–80, wife of Leofric, earl of Mercia; famous for her legendary ride through the city of Coventry. She was a benefactor of several monasteries, especially that at Coventry, which she and her husband founded (1043). The legend about her, which first appears in the chronicle of Roger of Wendover, states that her husband agreed to refrain from heavy taxation on the people of Coventry if she would ride naked through the town on a white horse. The story of Peeping Tom, the only person who looked through the closed shutters, did not enter the legend until the 17th cent. Michael Drayton (1613), Tennyson (1842), and others made Lady Godiva the subject of poems. A bronze statue of her by Sir William Reid Dick was erected in Coventry in 1949.

Gratuitous Modeling Photo

The modeling agency put out an APB for everyone to submit a test shot for a Florida citrus ad campaign. No, I wasn't chosen as the model. I've done so little legit modeling, it's pathetic. Every pretty girl in Miami is a model. Most of the time modeling is a cover story designed to erase the reality of crapjobs, escorting or hoping to be discovered by a top model scout at Starbucks. My modeling hopes, I realize, are dashed against the rocks. I leave a trail of car show, wedding show, boat show gigs, desperate for rent money nude shots behind me, crumbs I hope will not be trace-able once I enter career-land. Ask me what I do and depending on my mood and who's asking, it's grad student, bottle hostess, model or Mistress. Soon I will add another occupation to the list when I graduate. It will be time to leave modeling behind. Leave bottle hostessing behind. But I will be continuing with Niteflirt, to pay down my tuition loans.

Biggest Loser of the Month: Brian le Boob

March Biggest Loser of the Month: Brian le Boob


Dear Sara

I hope you will make me the loser of the month. I haven't had a girlfriend in 5 years. The last girlfriend I had convinced me to pay for her plastic surgery. Idiot (me) paid for her to get a 'boob job'. As soon as she got that, she broke up with me. She only had sex with me twice and also made me take her shopping, that was basically how we 'dated'. We went shopping, I bought her things, then we went out to dinner. Then she would get some cash out of me, so she could go out with her 'friends'. And she took things out of my house, if she liked something: a framed print, an espresso machine, an oriental rug, those things and more all went to her apartment. Then this pretty married woman at work, she was going through a divorce, I lent her money to help her out, thousands over 6 months. She left the company, and moved out of the area after the divorce was finalized. I thought we would start dating as soon as she divorced, at least that's what she led me to believe. I'm so pathetic, a real idiot. Please punish me by making me the loser of the month I beg of you.

Brian

Consider it done! Sara

Small Dick Salutes Control Speeders in Australia!

One of my callers from Down Under, alerted me to a must-blog item about an ad campaign from the RTA (Royal Transportation Authority) in Australia. Billboards and tv commercials indicate that the small peenie salute is totaly appropriate to give to drivers who are speeding or hotdogging.

You tube video of the tv ad:

No One Thinks Big of You!

Yes, even Granny does the small pinkie wave!

The RTA feels the ad campaign has been successful and plan to continue with it. But all I can say now is PLEASE LET THESE ADS COME TO AMERICA! I would be the billboard girl for free!

Thanks to www.caradvice.com.au for some of the details about the campaign.

Tom from Myspace still needs to be my Bitch!

This is the first pic I've ever seen of Tom from Myspace in a standing pose. Ignore the rest of the posse, now I can see, this shorty abso-faggily needs to be my bitch. Hmmm is that some toupee action on his head or does he have naturally thick tresses, only his ghey hairdresser knows for sure.

I really need a rich slave. I'm tired of working my ass off at the club and pimping myself on Niteflirt. My beauty and power are being wasted on 99% of those who truly don't appreciate it.

Dawn of the Dead -- Overheard at the Club

One dude to a bunch of friends:

There's alot of zombie action at this club tonite....

The Large Penis Support Group

http://www.lpsg.org/

It's hard to believe they have a lot of members, hahaha, pun intended. Some appear to be gay, not all. But for the envious, check it out. And for the few, probably only two or three well-hung guys who read this blog, here's your new playground!

Cheeky!!!!

Drew Barrymore told Vogue Magazine that she was so happy with her actor boyfriend Justin Long (Dodgeball, Die Hard 4), better known as the Mac man in the Mac vs. PC commercials, that her cheeks were hurting. She meant she was perennially smiling. But when he added that his cheeks were hurting as well, and we know he doesn't smile that much, that he's got this sardonic look most of the time, we can deduce he meant the other cheeks, and that Drew straps it on!

Top this!

I could walk down the street, heads would turn, gayboys would nip at my heels begging to suck cock just for me....what a power trip it would be....

thnx jj

Samaria the Size Queen

Thnx to slave josephine (Nicole's slave) for alerting me to ancient size queen origins....Ezekiel 23:19-20

Slammin' the Slit

One of my blog readers sent me an update to the little newspaper clip (story a few posts below) about a phone sex operator who sued her former employer for developing carpal tunnel syndrome from masturbating on the job. The original story was publicized in FLA, because the service, Chrissy's Florida Phonemates, is based here. At school, a few girls talked about working for CFP. From what they told me, masturbating wasn't a job requirement ;-)

Click on the blog title post or use this link to read up on the settlement:

http://tinyurl.com/2tnro3

The Thumbelina Girly Fashion Show

In the above pic, Thumbelina is wearing a mini jeans skirt with gold sparkle belt. And no thong underneath! Trendy club wear to dance the nite away!



Blonde slut Thumbelina has her long hair up in a ponytail, everyone knows girls do this so their hair doesn't get in the way of cocksucking.... She's dressed in a lil white frock with a light blue marabou accent. Innocent yet slutty....



Blonde slut Thumbelina is Pretty in Pink! Pink bewitching hat and slutty pink mini-dress. Definitely looks ready for going to a warehouse rave, taking too much ecstasy and doing a gang bang in the parking lot! Go girly!



Thumbelina girly wants to show off her luscious red lips and cover girl eyes, highlighted with black mascara. Just the look horny men adore!



Every one of my playtoys who doesn't have his dick locked up should have it dressed up! Pssst.... Thumbelina recommends Disney Princess outfits (vs. Barbie), they fit lil ones better.

But was he 'passable'?

PORTLAND, Maine - The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office is looking for a man with a mustache who is pulling in front of female drivers and then jumping out of his vehicle while wearing women's underwear, a garter belt and black high-heel boots.

Since last spring, there have been six reports about the cross-dressing motorist. The episodes have occurred in the Standish-Buxton area.

Sheriff Mark Dion said that while the man's behavior may not be criminal in terms of dress, the fact that he's jumping out in roadways and apparently targeting women who are alone is cause for concern.

The sheriff said women have had to swerve to avoid the man.

--Yahoo News

Shitty Glitter

One of the latest drink crazes, you glitter up a martini or other drink at a club, and yeah it looks cool, it's 14 or 24 carat gold flakes, so the glitter is harmless and when it makes its' appearance at the other end, it makes your shit glitter, or so I've heard. I drank a shitty glitter drink once, but didn't check my shit later.

Another member of the 4" Club

By popular demand (from my girlfriends) I have created a new blog called Red Car? Small Penis! Featuring pics of well, Red Cars! You and your dirty mind.... You were thinking small penises! I've just launched the blog, so there aren't that many posts yet, but click on the blog post title for the link. And if you have any pics of you driving your shiny lil' red sporty car, send it to me!!!!

The Phone Sex Space

hmmmm didn't she ever think of faking it???

OK, back to the subject at hand, haha I'm so clever, check it out, the myspace for phonesex. Yes, I joined, and so should you! Click on blog post title for link.

The Mystery Spanker!

The Mystery Spanker from my birthday party was revealed! It was one of my 'guesses', but my girlfriends got extra play and reveled in torturous delite in not revealing his identity for a few weeks, while I squirmed (literally) wondering who the Spanker could have been.

It was revealed to be 'e', Taylor's Sugar Daddy! I passed up 'e', he was my original acquisition when I was selling my ass as a 'faux girlfriend' before the holidays to cum up with a down payment for a new (used) car. Faux girlfriend = eye candy = look pretty = no sex. 'e' came in late in the game, and late on the calendar, I was already booked the nites he was looking to put a girl on his arm at several parties, but he seemed cool and rich and.... so I passed him off to one of my girlfriends who was whining about lack of cash around Xmas. And they hit it off, tho she is more the traditional sugar baby, meaning she will do the sexy whereas I won't do the sexy with beta males, regardless of the size of the carrot or the amount of lettuce.

The reason why my girlfriends got off on me getting spanked by 'e' was he was wearing some party disguise, oversized black glasses, big schnoz and poofy black moustache and he was apparently acting comedic, a la Groucho Marx?, altho I obviously didn't get to see this as Nicole had blindfolded me with a scarf. (What, if my blindfold fell off, 'e' didn't want me to recognize him?)

'e' also paid for my party at the club ($500+), and all he got out of it was to spank my naked bum. A tres expensive spanking!

Abercrombie & Fitch Ad Obscene?

A Virginia Beach A&F store had to take down this poster as citizens had complained that it was 'obscene'. It doesn't look obscene as much as it looks gay. All A&F ads w/dudes in them look gay. The dudes in them look gay. If you've seen gay cruiserboy ads, you may have seen dudes describe themselves as Abercrombie & Fitch guys, meaning they have that look, probably not, ha, they wish! Ashton Kutcher used to be an A&F model, need I say more?

Sarah Silverman Cuckolds Jimmy Kimmel !!

Click on the post title to see the youtube video!

Kumquats - a delicacy!

I've eaten them since I was a little girl. One of my grandfathers had a kumquat tree. We used to eat them right from the tree, or my grandmother would make things like kumquat pie (similar to key lime pie) and jam.


kumquat jam
They are a unique citrus fruit, an acquired taste. You pop them in your mouth whole, and eat the rind, flesh and seeds. The rind is sweet, but the flesh is bitter. Most try one for the first time and spit the whole thing out. Hmmmm an inside joke they are named kumquats? ;-) Actually, it's an Asian name. Kumquats are huge in Asia and the Mediterranean. Booze is made from them, lemonade style drinks (anointed with tapioca pearls, luscious!), bento boxes are adorned with them. But outside of Florida, most probably think a kumquat is some new Asian style porn.


kumquat booze
Try one if you see them in the supermarket or farmer's market. Bet you'll spit it out!

--This post is for Jamie-san, who doesn't understand how I can eat kumquats!

Spam: Instrument Size!

From: "Dr. Marcie Hairston"
Subject: Your instrument size is your luxury
Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2008 16:25:47 +0000


hanging of your instrument length isn't a fantasy.
At present you have wonderful possibility to exaggerate your sexual
life.
Do not balk this opportunity to change your sexual life to eternity.
You will forget about shrinking surely enough.
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Raisinette, I know you read my blog!
Get in touch with Dr. Marcie now!

pic of Raisinette for your viewing displeasure

www.engrish.com

My new favorite website of the moment. Jamie-san sent me the link, blame him! But my friend who taught in Japan also had told me about how Japanese kids and 20-somethings love to wear t-shirts and hoodies with English words on them not knowing what the words mean like FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU and faux university wear. He saw one specific t-shirt emblazoned with 'University of Tool & Die' (there might be something 'punny' in that one, think about it for 10 secs or sex). On the flip side, it's highly likely that me and my friends might be guilty of buying girlie t's with pretty Japanese or Chinese calligraphy saying nasty things like STUPID AMERICAN SLUT BOUGHT THIS SHIRT!



Dick Sticks hmmmmm

Porn Creep - An International Phenomenon

Over a year ago, a bloggie wrote me a confession (click on link below) about how he can no longer cum from fucking or bj's. Only from jacking. Wikipedia has an entry for the syndrome, Porn Creep.

http://saras-playroom.blogspot.com/2007/01/porn-creep.html

Porn creep a/k/a porn death grip has cum to Japan. And in a big way, affecting over 70% of the younger male population according to a popular Japanese magazine.

Japan is in dire straits. The population is declining, people are marrying later, having fewer children, if any at all. And Spa! (1/29) says one of the major reasons for the dilemma is that as many as 70 percent of younger men are unable to achieve vaginal ejaculation.

"They've got no erection problems and they can masturbate perfectly normally, but there has been a massive increase, particularly among those in their 20s and 30s, who are suffering from vaginal ejaculation disorder, or an inability to ejaculate inside the vagina," Koichi Nagao, a urologist at the Toho University Omori Medical Center, tells Spa! "It's the most common dysfunction I have to deal with among people who come to the clinic. It leads to problems in the home, fertility problems and, in the worst cases, divorce."

Though there's no data available on exactly how many Japanese men are actually suffering from vaginal ejaculation disorder, a soapland brothel worker the magazine gives as its source says over her many years of servicing male clients, it would have to be around 70 percent.

"Young guys in particular. I'd say for every 10 guys, only about three come inside," the woman says. "There has definitely been an increase in the number of guys who'll finish themselves by hand, guys who leave without coming and guys who only want to talk."

Tsueno Akaeda, a doctor who runs a clinic in Tokyo's Roppongi, agrees with urologist Nagao.

"There are definitely more people with vaginal ejaculation disorder than there used to be," he says. "There has been incredible progress made in masturbation goods and there are plenty of people who can ejaculate into an artificial vagina, but not the real thing. I get more than a few men come to see me about that. And those in their 20s and 30s have grown up watching adult movies. They find masturbation easier and more satisfying than intercourse."

Experts say one of the main reasons men develop vaginal ejaculation disorder is that they learn how to masturbate using methods that feel distinctly different from vaginas, such as rubbing up against pillows or lying face down and moving back and forward for stimulation until climax.

"Naturally picking up somewhat unnatural methods has to be the main reason," Nagao says. "Or, some guys obtain pleasure from some method they've happened to discover almost by accident and keep on doing it that way. It used to be that your bad buddies would tell you the best way to jerk off."

That's not to say that doing it by hand is a preferable solution, either.

"Incorrect methods aren't the only problem. Gripping it too strongly or moving too quickly during masturbation are also methods that bring sensations radically different to an actual vagina," Nagao says. "Ejaculation is stress-relieving, so there's a mentality problem involved as well because guys grip themselves firmer or move their hands faster because they want to feel pleasure as quickly as possible."

Pshrink Katsumi Harima agrees with Nagao that mental issues are involved with the onset of vaginal ejaculation disorder.

"Sex is too accessible for young people nowadays, what with adult movies and Internet porn," Harima tells Spa! "They're too used to the virtual world, which means when they find things like a woman who doesn't have porn star looks, is sweaty, or doesn't moan as loud as they're expecting, they become unable to ejaculate." (By Ryann Connell)

（Mainichi Japan） January 31, 2008

--thanks to our Jamie-san