Saturday, November 07, 2009

It's the weekend and that means the moron

must write to itself!!!! yes I force the moron to leave a fat tribute and write a debasing, degrading, humiliating message to itself, because I don't even have the time, and if I did, my time would be worth even more than the moron's tribute!!! and the moron knows I text my bff's after I post another self-flagellation blog so they can laugh over how weak and pathetic the moron is!

Many people go through life with a vague, gnawing sense that they are suppressing something vital and deep within themselves as they attempt to manage the many requirements and obligations of their lives and seek sexual release when that is possible. They sense there is something they should be experiencing, feeling, exploring, but never quite get around to allowing that part of themselves to find its voice and open to what is calling. I was such a person until I met Sara. I was all wrapped up in all of the things I just had to do to cope with the various aspects of my life and never allowed myself to feel more deeply and act on that call from within. Sara sensed this immediately, knew that with her guidance and instruction I was ripe to take the next steps toward what was calling out to me, the steps toward renouncing any sense of myself I had held and replacing it with Sara's desire to force me to become something else, her slave.

Sara recognized that beneath all of the things I did in the rest of my life, I was ripe to become utterly enslaved by her and in particular to be reduced to her mindless moron who would know only to accept and and be grateful for all of the mocking and stinging abuse that Sara would enjoy inflicting.

I want everyone to know, and Sara wants me to tell everyone, how grateful I am to Sara for taking me under wing and turning me into a pathetic moron whose mind has been turned to mush and who knows only to do as I’m told by Sara, including welcoming the laughter at my plight that rings in my hears from Sara and her friends.

You will have some idea of the depth of my enslavement when you consider what Sara has already told you on these moron blogs on which I humiliate myself by writing abusive message in words I imagine coming from Sara: that it is not enough for me to write such mortifying messages for everyone to read, but that I’ve become so dependent on Sara, so desperate to please her and find some basis on which to feel even slightly close to her, that Sara taunts and teases me, telling me she won’t post a blog I have ready unless I find new and more vile ways to humiliate and degrade myself and beg her desperately to post the message, and that I must also beg her to allow me to pay her a substantial tribute as well for her to agree to post my self-debasing messages.

Sara has helped me lose and find myself, and while to some it may sound disgraceful and a waste of a human life, I have never felt so strongly that I finally am the person (or non person) I should be and that I’m with the person who deeply understands all of this and will continue to teach me all I should know. And of course with Sara’s brilliance, creativity, and beauty, the thrill I experience daily as I feel her power over me, is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. Truly, I belong to Sara, am her property, am owned by her if she will allow me that divine designation.

No comments: