Monday, September 29, 2008

Sunday, September 28, 2008

When Brown Turns to Black....

from my intrepid UK correspondent peewee....

The big news over here in the UK (yes, even bigger than the agonising Ryder Cup post mortem) is the keynote speech delivered by Prime Minister Gordon Brown at the Labour Party Conference in Manchester. Confidence in Brown's leadership is almost non-existent, so a hair-raising speech was essential. What better way to achieve this than by having your loyal wife precede you with a glowing tribute and lovingly introducing you as a dedicated, decent man. Brown clearly shares your belief regarding the importance of 'pussy power' in the current political arena. Certainly, the immediate reaction appears to be a positive one, so Sarah Brown may well have saved her husband's neck... for now!

That said, two days ago the tabloids featured Sarah Brown's previous public appearance. The Prime Minister's 'loyal, devoted & dependable' wife appeared somewhat distracted from her usual position at her hubby's side. But what irresistible temptation could possibly be powerful enough to lure Sarah Brown's gaze away from her dour-faced husband? .... The answer is clear - a big, semi naked black man!

Although it is undeniable that the UK's hottest young honeys are now shamelessly chasing after BBC, it would appear that even the middle-aged wives of our nation's most successful white men are easily attracted to dishy dark meat! Our Prime Minister's wife could hardly tear her transfixed eyes away from the big black model, Tyson Beckford's powerful ebony body. I'm sure that Sarah will muster the restraint to repress her dark desires in order to stand by her husband's side. But I would take issue with Labour's Conference catchphrase. Black, not Brown, is 'Winning the Fight for Britain's Future'!

Tyson Beckford is so yummy~ And his yummy photo is c/o Reuters. Sara

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Pussy Power!

Canadian politician Belinda Stronach

from one of my admirers....

I'm absolutely convinced that you're right about a likely increase in women in politics. It's inevitable. The gender playing field has evened out considerably, yet the female representation in the most powerful political positions has not. Not yet anyway. But times they are a changin'. Without Hillary Clinton's empassioned vocal support, Obama would have struggled. And McCain has clearly received a boost from Sarah Palin's involvement. This just serves to demonstrate that the political western world, like never before, is finally ready to hand power to the females. There are hot female policitians in the US, Canada, Sweden, Switzerland, Belgium, just to name a few.

The problem is that although the female electorate can identify more easily with a female candidate, a lot of male voters seem inherently chauvinistic and resistant to change. These type of men usually only roll over for supremely tenacious aggressive females or extremely pretty ones. So, while a surge in female politicians is a welcome inevitability, I'm also relishing the prospect of seeing hordes of beautiful women, or 'dollyticians', strutting their political stuff. Let's face it, I know, from first-hand experience, that we men can be easily ruled by a pretty, intelligent and dominant girl.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Gaywayne, starring in "Montreal Madness"

Queen Sara. Gee I feel I'm giving Montreal so much free advertising they should pay for my vacation Ha Ha.

Friday Night

Instead of going to a nigthclub as I usally do, I when to a bar known for its' interracial action because I felt like getting drunk. I bought a drink for a pretty white girl (who looked like Sara) after she turned down the advances of two white guys who came on to her. As I was having my drink with her I notice the two rejected white guys were whining to the female bartender they called Arnold (with biceps bigger then most guys)about their failure to get any sexy times from women. Then a big black dude came in and as you would know it sat on the empty stool on the other side of the pretty lady that I was with. She smiled at him and started to pay more attention to him then me. Then she started to giggle at his jokes which she would not do for me. Then she loudly started to laugh. Of course I was very jealous of being replaced by a black guy. So I went to the Men's Room to relieve myself. I certainly was not going to mess with that big black dude.

When I came back out I was stunned she was already making out with him after rejecting the advances of us three white guys. But instead of getting mad I strangely got turned on and bought them both a drink because I was very interested in what they had to say to each other. I could not believe what I was hearing. The black dude said to her "You know I just came from a night club that had a bunch of whiteboys complaining about where are all the women tonight." She laughed saying
"That's because us white babes are here in these bars waiting for manly black hunks like you. You see we're tired of being with those boring silly whiteboys." They kissed deeply. Then she said "But the whiteboys are good for one thing." "Whats that sugar?" He smiled. "To buy us girls drinks until the real men like you show up." They laughed then she looked around at me and gave me a smirk as if to say get your fagass out of here before I have my black stud make you look stupid by licking his shoes clean.

So I got up and sat near the two white dudes who got rejected along with a cute young redhead who might have been the girlfriend of the muscular female bartender Arnold. It was clear that Arnold was getting very tired and annoyed with the whining of the whiteboys. She clashed her fist down on the bar and said, "That's it. I can't stand you guys whining about not getting any pussy. She grabbed one guy off his stool and yelled, "Get the fuck out of here and go to the gay gloryhole adult store across the street. I bet you will be luckier at sucking off somebody's prick then getting free pussy". Then she threw his ass right out into the street. She turned and looked at the guy who looked scared shitless as he got off the stool and said with his palms up in the air. "Okay I'm going. I don't want any pussy I'm going". The cute redhead turned around and smiled and said, "You whiteboys have become such shameful wimps". I asked, "Don't you feel sorry for them?" She said "Hell no. They're losers, they should just suck cock".

The cute redhead then stood up and kissed the musclewoman bartender on the lips and said, "You were awesome. I just love it you show those men I mean fags where to go". Then she looked at the front window pointing, "Look they really are going to the gloryhole." She then gave the high five to the muscle lady who said, "I think for now on we'll call those two 'Cumbreath and Ballsalicky'." "Perfect names". The redhead looked at me and said, "How come you're not joining them?" I said, "Oh, I'm not complaining". I got up to mingle with people on the dance floor.

I saw a lovely shy short hair skinny white blond text messaging at a private table. I went up to her and asked her if she would like to dance? By the way she talked I could tell she was from some backwards hick town from the states and wasn't used to socializing with strangers. She turned me down for the dance and kept texting. I said, "that,s cool" and went back to the bar for another drink next to a black man who just came in. While we were drinking he said to me, "How's the action in here tonight?" "There's nothing to pick up here tonight," I replied convinced. The black guy answered, "Oh what about that cute white girl at that table over there." I said "Oh, she's from one of those redneck towns. I doubt she's into interracial". He said, "I bet you ten bucks I can get her to go out on the dance floor with me". I repled, "OK if you want to lose your money". The black man did not like the tone of my voice and said, "For another ten bucks, I bet I'll be kissing that girl by the second song". I said, "Man, if you can do that, I'll come over and kiss your ass right in front of her." He said "It's a done deal." We both put up a twenty.

I said to myself no way can he get that shy backward girl to dance with him. I watched him make his move. Well, I'll be dipped in shit. Not only did she gladly get up to dance him, they embraced. By the second song I could not believe my white eyes, he was indeed kissing her. He waved me over. Proving my word I walked over and gave him the twenty. Then I kneeled and gave him a very sweet kiss on his lovely ass as they embraced. With her palms on his shoulders she nervously looked behind him to see me on my knees planting a sweet one between his ass cheeks. The black guy said "Don't worry honey, he's just a whiteboy who knows his place. Isn't payback a bitch?" She laughed out loud, threw her arms around his head and proceeded to give him a long french kiss.

Saturday night cumming soon....

Bikini Girls with Pellet Guns....

....would be a fine skin-ematic oeuvre for late nite Cinemax.

Not to be outdone, Quentin Tarantino will be fashioning a remake of the classic "Faster Pussycat Kill Kill". Perfect to indulge his foot 'n' fast car fetish! But his choice of casting is either perfect or fugazi'd with Britney Spears in talks to play one of the dominatrixie strippers on a desert murder spree.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Caribou Barbie!

Comes with everything you see here*:

- Dead Caribou

- M-16

- PinkSnowmobile

- Sexy Librarian Glasses

- Power Suit

*Now what about a big black strap-on?? Sara

Talking Caribou Barbie spouts out such fun phrases as:

- "I'm a pitbull with lipstick!"

- "My family is off-limits!"

- "What is it the Vice President actually does?"

- "Excuse me while I go have more babies!"

But Caribou Barbie won't talk in front of the press!

Post developed from many jokes about 'Caribou Barbie' floating around, photo from blog

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

UK Jungle Fever Update!

from peewee, my UK correspondent....

It's been another bad month for English white boys, as we've witnessed the last remaining stunner from the nation's hottest band, Girls Aloud, officially 'go black'. For years, British men have been smitten with the Girls, admittedly for their videos more than their manufactured pop sounds. Cheryl, Kimberley and Nadine, in particular, are always in UK men's top ten sexiest women lists. But our country's emasculated white boys have had to watch as first Cheryl, then Kimberley, threw their hearts into long-term relationships with big black studs. But Nadine was different. She dated Desperate Housewives pretty boy, Jesse Metcalfe. She was a pure, sweet Irish girl that seemed unmoved by dick size and satisfying sex. She was our Princess. Or so we thought. First, we were forced to endure erotic dance routines which featured the Girls, and increasingly Nadine, in various states of undress with athletic black dancers. There followed tabloid revelations of sordid hotel frolics with mysterious black Americans in NYC. Then there were the stories of Nadine's break-up with Jesse, amidst rumours of a blossoming relationship with a black backing dancer. Now, the story has broken that young Nadine has begun a new, serious romance... with New York Giant, Jason Bell. And unsurprisingly, the papers report that "all of the Girls really like him". I wonder why?!

White boys are simply not in contention for the prettiest British girls anymore. The successful big black men have acquired the Alpha male status on this side of the Atlantic. They are enjoying their rightful position at the top of the sexual food chain and we white boys have had to taste defeat. We are doing so without resistance and with grace and dignity because we fully accept that the pretty white girls deserve bigger and better than we can offer. As you rightly state, Empress Sara - "Always Bet on Black"!

I will attach images of the lovely Nadine's steady progression towards black men in this, and a further message that will immediately follow this one. They will serve to support and illustrate the above points.

I have numerous other images of UK girls that have been dating black men but will save these for another Jungle Fever Update in the future.

There were also rumors here in the US that she was Jesse Metcalfe's arranged / paid beard, since he desperately needed to deflect whispers that he was power bottom gaymeat. Apparently, the corporate pimps for Girls Aloud wanted stateside publicity for GA to hopefully grow their fan base across the pond....The moment the engineered faux-mance fizzled, Nadine hopped on the darkmeat train!!! Can you blame her? Sara

"Your penis was just too damn little!" -- A Small Penis Confession

Hello Sara,

I thought you of all people would like to hear this story. I recently had dinner with an ex girlfriend of mine. We have actually have been really good friends ever since she broke of with me many years ago. Anyway the two of us had a great dinner, it had been a long time since it was just the two of us. Her husband doesn't mind her spending time with me, we are cool.

Anyway after dinner we stopped by a bar had more then a few drinks. I after some a few shots I finally got the guts to ask her to REALLY REALLY tell me why she broke up with me. I told her that I wanted the truth, not to hold back! We were great together!!! She was very much not wanting to tell me, she begged me to drop it. But I counter begged her to tell me. She took a shot, looked me in the eye and said (in a whisper) "your penis was just too damn little." She said it with such a straight face, then she cracked up and for a moment I thought it was a joke ... I said "so really why did you break up with me." She, still cracking up said "I'm not joking buddy, your dick is so damn small I had a hard time knowing when to start faking it. Hey don't give me that look, you wanted to know." She stared to control her laughter and continued "you're a great guy and I still love you, but you just didn't have it down there. I couldn't see spending my life with such a little dick."

A few days later I was talking to her on the phone, and asked her if she remembered our conversation about the break up ... she said she did, and said she was sorry. I asked if that means she was just joking that night, she said "oh no I wasn't joking about the little one."


You're lucky you can even spend a little time with your ex... Not that you should be denied the LOVE of your life, but you should be denied SEX with the love of your life. I'm sure she married a guy with a big cock....Sara

Small Penis responds: Sara, I'm not sure of his cock size, she never told me, I can now assume he is big since she more or less told me that "size really matters." But he is a rock, I mean the Hugh is super big, built and tall. He towers over me. Thanks for saying that I shouldn't be denied her, only her sex. ... but that doesn't stop the fact that I still really want her and I can't have her for something I can't control :(

That's Mistress Sarah Palin to all you wimps!

From one of my admirers....

Right now, Palin has Democrats quaking in their boots -- and with good reason. But all hope isn't lost. For even if this election turns out to be a referendum on the national libido, Palin may scare off more voters than she attracts

Because to anyone who isn't a true believer, Palin comes across not as a fantasy pinup, but as a dominatrix. And the S/M demographic isn't going to put the Republicans over the top in the swing states.

For the die-hard Republicans who lusted over Palin at the convention, her whip-wielding persona was a turn-on. You could practically feel the crowd getting a collective woody as Palin bent Obama and the Democrats over, shoved a leather gag in their mouths and flogged them as un-American wimps, appeasers and losers. "Drill, baby, drill!" the chant ecstatically repeated by the GOP faithful during Rudy Giuliani's speech, acquired a distinctly Freudian subtext after Palin spoke. The more Palin drilled the Democrats, the more hotly the base yearned to drill her. (We will leave it to shrinks to determine whether the GOP hardcore has the hots for Palin because she's reaming the Democrats, or because authority-worshippers tend to have secret fantasies of being reamed themselves.) Article on Mistress Palin

Sarah Palin 'shop' pic courtesy of blog

Friday, September 05, 2008

I might be driving north on Monday to get out of Ike's path / wrath. My sister is in Whorelando and my Mom and my Aunt Gina are planning to go there. To avoid the henhouse, I'll be going to my Da's (he prefers to be called Da due to his Irish ancestry) about 175 miles north on the coast. I already bought 2 gas cans and filled them up and filled up my gas tank. It's not so much the mileage / distance as sitting in massive no to slow-moving traffic and running out the gas.

UPDATE: Ike hit the Keys and is en route to to the Texas Gulf Coast, meanwhile South Florida weather peeps continue to instill fear in its' residents: "Could South Florida Survive the Big One". It's the Republican way to keep the populace in fear, I'm so tired of fear-mongering....Sara

Vote for the bigger dick!

I truly think John McCain has a big dick, and this would be evidenced by his being a fighter pilot back in the day before Top Gun came out, meaning when fighter pilots were real men, by his dating size queen strippers and his cocky attitude. Blame Top Gun for encouraging lil dick fagboys to become flyboys. So yes, McCain is well hung for McWhitey, but I think Obama's "half-rican" cock is larger. At the end of the day in the Oval Office, the Prez with the biggest dick is the best choice, he doesn't have anything to prove, he doesn't overcompensate. Witness the Bush, who my Dick-dar tells me sports a skinny 5" on a good day with a Cialis cocktail. Vote for the President with the bigger dick!


No wonder why Mitt Romney didn't get the nomination....