Thursday, August 28, 2008

Update from Gaywayne

We shall soon have a new Montreal sex district adventure from Gaywayne to post on my blog! As you can see, Gaywayne was so excited about seeing a hot pic of Nicole, that he typed in all caps!

WOW. THANKS FOR THE PLUG OF ME ON YOUR LASTEST BLOG REPORT. GOD.NICOLE LOOKS VERY BEAUTIFUL IN THE PICTURE WITH HER LIGHT BLOND HAIR. PLEASE TELL HER I WOULD DRESS UP AS A FRENCH MAID FOR MY NEW BOSS AND OF COURSE FOR YOU ANY TIME. i HOPE NICOLE MET SOME HOT BLACK JAMAICAN STUDS ON HER VACATION AS SHE SHOULD.

JUST GOT BACK FROM MONTREAL TODAY BECAUSE THE GAS IS A LITTLE CHEAPER. IT ONLY COST ME $ 70 DOLLARS TO DRIVE THERE AND BACK. TELL YOU ABOUT IT LATER.

P.S. i HOPE NICOLE TOLD THE JAMAICAN BLACK GUYS THAT US WHITE BOYS BACK HOME ARE JUST A BUNCH OF STUPID WEAK FAGS TO BE LAUGHED AT SO THAT'S WHY SHE IS IN THE WEST INDIES WHERE ALL PRETTY WHITE LADY'S SHOULD BE TO PARTY WITH THE BLACK MEN BECAUSE THE WHITE BOYS ARE ACTING LIKE THEY WANT THEIR CUTE LITTLE GIRLY ASSES TO BE CHERRY POPPED ONE DAY BY THE BIG BLACK MEN. LOL LOVE GAYWAYNE

Pretty white girls should get free flights to Jamaica, stupid weak fags should have to pay into a fund to cover this -- Sara

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Gaywayne, Meet the New Boss!



Nicole laughed her ass off when she saw the ~betaboys blow bubbles for BBC~ Hotels.com commercial on tv and when she read your Poem in Honor of the Black Man. So, Gaywayne, meet the new boss!!!

Pic of Nicole on vacay in Jamaica, yes, you can only dream about why and what she was doing there....

High on Humiliation

My Hotels.com blogpost (scroll below for post titled Blow Job) has generated emails and jerk off fodder such as: "Please make me blow bubbles in the tub for your big black boyfriend while you laugh!" Another admirer responds:

"I see the YouTube video you posted on your blog, and your accompanying endorsement of the roles within it, got all of us little white boys high on humiliation. It's a very strange phenomenon - that white men can, in turn, be so sexually threatened and usurped by the general superiority of black men and yet, at the same time, be so aroused by seeing and hearing evidence of that fact from pretty white girls. Clearly, there are so many factors involved that it would require significant comment. But the fact remains that the white male population are increasingly aware of their girls' penchant for big, black men and are duly turned on by that very fact. This simple fact is evidenced by the disproportianate sales of interracial porn (which predominantly features white girls with black men, it should be stressed) and the increased use of 'black men with white girls' in advertisements. Sex sells and when white men get excited, they remember the advertisement and promptly buy the product. Advertising agencies have seemingly woken up to the powerful effects interracial images can have. Hotels.com have wisely cashed in on this. And so too have Coloreria Italiana:



A very persuasive advertisement, I'm sure you'll agree. In fact, with your stunning features, brunette locks and Italian temperament, I reckon you could have played the lead role to perfection. And I'd happily let you throw me in the washing machine if it produces that result!!"

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Downing the Darky's Knob !!


The intrepid peewee reports on his weekend holiday to Scotland....

This weekend, you might say I shared your taste for darkmeat! In Glasgow, all the chip shops sell a Scottish delicacy that is essentially a deep fried black pudding sausage, as per the attached photo. However, the local term for this dish is a 'Darky's Knob'! These things are about 12 inches long, massively thick and very filling indeed. In honour of you, my Empress, I duly ordered one last night. I was immediately overwhelmed by the size of the thing and how hot it was to the touch. I sportingly tried to force the whole darky's knob down my throat but it ultimately proved just too big and too rich for my tastes. Despite coming up short, I felt utterly stuffed, like never before. And I'd only managed half of it! I suppose I can now relate, in a metaphoric sense at least, to how all you pretty girls must feel after you've spent the night gobbling a darky's knob! It is certainly a more satisfying experience than poking around at the usual fish 'n' chips!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Goddess Nastia


I've had quite a few Niteflirt calls from sissywimps who want to be one of Goddess Nastia's bitchboys. One wimp wants his 19-year old Goddess to take him back to the Olympic Village and make him suck off all the big black cocks. Her mere name is enough to make sissy fags shiver. On your knees for your new Goddess!

Goldmember


You know how gay dudes claim in their posts on cruising websites that they have a "swimmer's build", of course this means they don't, but wish they did. Ironically, it might also mean they suffer from whiteboy dinky shrinkage.

I've had quite a few Niteflirt calls this week where whitebois wanted to suck off USA swimmers. I didn't see any bulges worth checking out. And I doubt, while Michael Phelps sports a Size 14 shoe, that he's got Size 14 going on in his Speedos.

Usain's Bolt


Well the Ho-lympics have been good for something.... They have brought me more Niteflirt calls from you lil whitebois looking to worship big black cocks. And specifically Usain's bolt has been the 'biggest' interest. Nicole and I have estimated that the bolt must be at least 13 inches of uncut darkmeat. It made our pussies so wet to even fantasize about it, we ended up doing each other....So the Ho-lympics were good for something else ;-)

Bubbles Bubbles Whiteboys and Troubles

Queen Sara:

I just love that hotel.com post. I even loved more your last comment AS IT SHOULD BE. You know how to bring us back begging for more. Looked for you on Niteflirt last two nites. Did not see you on. It made me for the first time call up a black master and beg to be his slave. Instead of us whiteboys trying to pick up beautiful women like you at a dance club every saturday nite, we should leave that up to the hot black studs-REAL MEN. AND US BOYS SHOULD BLOW BUBBLES IN A TUB! As our black Master brags about picking up pretty white girls that we can't get.

I remember you telling me that you white girls are going out with black men and there's nothing we can do about. That because we are scared shitless that the black man will clock us in front of you if we dare object. We only will complain to you if your black stud is not not around because we are gutless little cowards. I myself walk off the street when I see an interracial couple holding hand and hand walk down the street just like they did in the last century. My how times change. We whiteboys have become such big pussies.

I also loved United Shades of America. Now with things coming out like that hotel.com commercial and chickenshit whiteboy movies that were not around in the past. The white ladies are now discovering what spineless faggots we whiteboys really are and they no longer fear dating black men. Their relationship will be more solidified as you encourage us to put on our little cute frenchmaid outfits and beg to be your fluffer pussyboy for your black man. The way is was meant to be.

Gaywayne

p.s. Fuck me and the white boys when we ask for favors on what we should write. Us white fags should be glad you pay us any attention. Did you get a toe-ring yet for your beautiful foot?

Yes, but I lost it on the beach. I'm sure some old dude with a metal detector found it and sniffed it.

A Poem in Honor of the Black Man by Gaywayne

WHITEBOY HONORS THE BLACK MAN


MISTER BLACK MAN YOU'RE SO SWEET

MAY WE BOW TO KISS YOUR FEET.

WHEN WE REMOVE YOUR SHOES AND SOCKS

WE SALIVATE FOR YOUR BIG COCKS.

HEARING WHITEGIRLS GIGGLE AND LAUGH

AS US WHITEBOYS KISS YOUR ASS.

HEARING WHITEGIRLS LOUD CATCALLS

AS WHITEBOYS LICK YOUR BIG BLACK BALLS.

WHITEGIRLS SAY WE'VE BEEN REPLACED

AS BIG BLACK MUSCLE BUTTS SIT ON OUR FACE.

YOUR BODY IS A WORK OF ART

IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHERE TO START.

WITH HONOR I CURTSIE AS YOUR FRENCHMAID

TO WATCH YOU AND YOUR WHITEGIRL BOTH GET LAID.

FOR EVERY WHITE GIRL THAT YOU KISS

MY MOUTH IS OPEN FOR YOUR GIZZ.

FOR DAYS AND DAYS MY ASS WILL BE SORE

YOU TELL ME FUCK OFF WHITEBOY AS I BEG FOR MORE.


GAYWAYNE


P.S. I CAN HEAR NICOLE LAUGHING HER ASS OFF WHEN SHE READS THIS. SERVES ME RIGHT.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Blow Job!



In this chillarious Hotels.com commercial, 2 wimpy betaboy bellhops must blow bubbles with straws into a bath to create a jacuzzi effect. Lying in the tub is a big black dude who 'owns' them. As it should be!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Knob Cheese vs. Dick Cheese -- UK vs. US Rivalry

UK correspondent peewee's fine literary effort, a story with many UK sex slang terms used in context

It's the intensity that drives me to be a nancy-boy cuckold. The intensity of logging on and having a butchers at the messages from my beloved ball & strife with her knobhead of a lover, and having him take the piss. The intensity of knowing that my pipsqueak dong can't satisfy Joanne's paggered minge. My midget prick is a mere 4 inches when I have a stiffy whereas his lob-on measures at least 8"! And when I'm occasionally allowed posh and becks, my crappy goolies cum up in a jiffy whilst he keeps his massive boner forever. But the sheer intensity of knowing all this makes me chuffed to be a cuckold. Take the other night for instance.......

Joanne had agreed as a birthday present to me that we might have a friar tuck that night. Now that is a rarity. Anyway, after kit-kat shuffling her through two orgasms, the saucy prick-tease let me crawl on top of her. She chuckled as I squeezed my bell-end into her fanny, reaching down to grab my meat & two veg. My knob was inside her slack twat without a rubber johnny. I was so excited that I realised I was unable to screw the tart. All I could do was lay there inside her. If I had moved, my baby gravy would've shot out of my jap's eye like shit off a shovel.

"You are so pathetic! You're such a pansy! You can't even move or you'll cum up." With that, Joanne reached between her pins and began flicking her bean. Finally, I felt her starting to tense up, and she said "Shag me you felcher, I'm going to squirt." I stuffed my diddy todger into her gorgeous gash. One, two, three strokes and I blew my load. She continued with her orgasm until it had passed and then she pushed me off her. I lay there with my now limp 2" middle wicket covered in a johnny with my watery love batter inside. The slapper reached over and squeezed my lunchbox. "Now I'm going out with a proper bloke", she said, getting up and going into the shower.

I jumped off the bed and followed my bit of skirt into the bathroom. "B-b-but Joanne, today's my birthday. I thought we were going out to dinner?" She turned, still in the nuddy, and glared at me. "What for? All you'll do is grope me during dinner and then come home and want to roger me again. Well, I gave you your present, and now I'm going out with a real man to get a present of my own." With that she showered, got dolled up in her bimbo clobber and left without saying a word. I sat there, still starkers, on the couch. Docile, subservient, cuckolded.

Later that evening, I was online and saw her lover's name pop up on my buddy's list. "Hey knobcheese, happy birthday!" "Thank you sir" I messaged back, like a real turd burglar. "Well, I've fucked your Essex Girl whore of a missus for the last two hours. The wench told me about your pathetic birthday performance in the sack!! Look, it's freezing outside and we're Hank Marvin. Run over to the Chinky place, get us some nosh and fetch it over here. NOW!" The gob-shite was such a potty-mouthed tosser. But he was a fanny magnet and my Joanne worshipped his giant plonker. "Yes sir" I messaged back. "Oh yeah, your slag of a wife said she's left some glad rags for you hanging in the bathroom. Wear them under your coat! Now get going you fucking puff!!"

I made my way to the bathroom and there, hanging on a hook, was a sheer black negligee and black lycra stockings. I slipped them on, put a heavy coat over them, and went to the restaurant to get their food. I got some weird stares, but handed over the dosh as quickly as I could before scarpering. I arrived at Jamal's apartment and knocked on the door. They yelled for me to come in. There they were, cuddled up together on the bed as I brought them their fodder whilst dressed like a tranny butt muncher. "Well it's about time boy! Dish up that scram and serve us, you knob jockey!" Jamal hollered, whist hugging Joanne's body and seemingly mauling her shapely knockers and stretched growler under the covers.

I served them and was made to kneel at the foot of their bed while they ate. Every so often, Jamal would throw a chicken bone at me and say "Here's your supper." I would pick it up and nibble whatever was left. After they ate, Jamal threw back the bed sheets to reveal Joanne's battered gash, hanging open and dripping his recently deposited thick, blackman's seed. It was a sight to be stored away my wank bank. Perhaps I should have gone ape-shit, but all I wanted to do was bash the bishop. My wife brought me back down to earth though, saying "Come and have your dessert, you pathetic little shirtlifter. Clean up my bearded clam and make sure you get all the baby batter that's stuck in my beaver. When you've finished, say thank you to Jamal for his thoughtful birthday gift to you!!" I acted the jam duff carpet muncher and like a plonker, delved into Joanne's sticky fanny and began eating from the furry cup. They both laughed. Ahhh, the intensity.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

From Dildo, Newfoundland to....



Anus, France
Homosassa, Florida
Blue Ball, Pennsylvania
Fort Dick, Pennsylvania
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Cockeysville, Maryland
Manassas, Virginia
Cockplay, Scotland
Three Cocks, Wales
Weener, Germany
Dikshit, India
Gofuku, Japan
Fukuoka, Japan
Fukien, China

I blogged earlier about sending Gaywayne to Dildo, Newfoundland for a look around, since he goes to Canada for sex-ay times, but due to xxxtreme gas prices, he said a trip to Dildo would be a no-go. Thanks to 'cumplexion' for this additional list of towns and cities with gaysexxx names! FYI I haven't been to Homosassa....Sara

Slapper!

Where is peewee when I need him the most? I had a call from a fagboy in the UK who kept begging to turn him into a slapper.... I knew this had to be some kind of Brit slang for something nasty, I thought he meant a sissy fagboy or wanker. In the US, there is a term called a panty slapper, re: a wanker who will wrap a pair of panties around the dick and wank off. But I wasn't that far off from my first guess. A slapper is a hooker so ugly that she must 'slap' layers of make-up on in order to be the least bit attractive. Most sissies would qualify as slappers simply because they wouldn't pass as pretty girlies even with make-up slapped on. I love some of the Brit slang, wanker is a perfect word for a jerk-off boy, pooftah does sound like the ultimate in faggotry, knob is a cute word for the dickie, polish the knob is a fun bj term. I'm sure there are lots more, perhaps peewee will share....


peewee reports that a slapper is also slang for a promiscuous woman....

All Hail the Size Queens!



from my UK correspondent 'peewee':

Speaking of the increasingly acknowledged importance of a bulge in your pants, I read another beta-boy-blow of a quote this week. The really gorgeous glamour girl, Keeley Hazell, one of my personal favourite celebrities has revealed herself to be a true size queen. She was used as the tabloid poster girl for the national survey results that proved that the majority of UK females think that bigger is better.

The article stated, "Size definitely matters to Keeley Hazell when it comes to bedroom fun. But don't just take her word for it, the nation's ladies agree." Keeley also admitted that she likes looking at men in speedos on the beach, but qualified this remark by explaining; "You need a good-sized package to fill them out properly".

Truly, I've never been made to feel more aware of my short-comings! When I swim or exercise, I make sure that I wear really baggy shorts that conceal the obvious absence of a bulge. I realise the pretty girls at the gym are ignoring me completely and checking out what all the black guys are confidently packing in their tight shorts. But let me clarify I'd rather be ignored than laughed at and humiliated.

I am glad to hear that Brit bitches are 'about the size'! And Keeley Hazell is hottt, I'd do her. Sara

The United Shades of America



a report on UK Jungle fever from my UK correspondent 'peewee':

Your comments, as always, are intriguing. I think you're correct about the slight cultural differences between black men in the US and over in the UK. Although there is obviously an element of 'gangsta rap' over here too, which does invoke an unfortunate aura of intimidation, I'd say that the black community over here is essentially educated and peaceful. It's always wrong to generalise, or stereotype, but if I had to do so, I'd say the UK's black gentlemen are proud, respectful, athletic, well dressed and charming individuals. Certainly our black sport stars are often better behaved than their white counterparts, not to mention more alluring to our prettiest white girls. It's reached the stage where interracial relationships are now welcomed by society, but with a slight element of outdated taboo still lingering. So, Britain's hotties are therefore getting hot nasty taboo sex AND meaningful relationships with our big British black guys. Which is a pretty potent cocktail and with it, times are changing. I'm 100% confident that you would legitimately struggle to find a solitary pretty English girl under the age of 21 years old, who genuinely wouldn't want to have sex with a big black man, at least at some stage in her life. Experiencing the thrill of a big black cock has seemingly been placed at the top of the list of carnal pleasures that all the hottest UK girls want to try, ahead of the likes of al fresco, threesomes and lesbian sex. And as with the other three pursuits, the little white men get off on watching!

Turning momentarily to politics, I think Barack Obama seems the ideal candidate. He's very charismatic and obviously an excellent orator. The only doubt remains the possibility that he is less of a messiah and more of a snake-oil salesman. But from what I can see, he'd make a fitting President and his success would further promote a welcome worldwide cessation of racism. And as a by-product, I do believe his election would indeed rapidly hasten the number of vanilla/dark chocolate relations in the US. For a nation with so many beautiful petite white girls and talented massive black men, it seems really strange that there's only a handful of pretty celebrities that have publicly 'gone black'. I've only really noted a few American hotties, namely Eva Longoria, Carmen Electra and Kim Kardashian, that have openly flaunted their satisfaction in the arms of a big black lover. But judging by the number of fake pictures featuring white US celeb-u-hotties getting pumped with massive black dick, on American web sites, I'd say there is a blatant repressed national desire that is now ready to be unveiled. As is already the case on this side of the pond, pretty white girls with big black men will soon become USA's hot trend. And judging by the attached pictures of your trio of hotties with their past/present black bulls, no-one could deny that they present an extremely attractive advertisement for the United Shades of America.

Ole!


French bullfighter, Sebastian Castella, took on a match vs. a big black bull and as is often the case, this proved to be a complete mismatch which resulted in a public shaming for le petit garcon francais. Castella's opponent used his massive horn to hit him where it hurts, leaving the defeated bullfighter a 'tiny bit' embarassed! As Castella scurried away from the conquering bull, his shame was complete as his shriveled little peepee poked out of his skewered sissy pink outfit! Big Black Bulls 1 - 0 Sissy White Frenchboys!

Hmmm, I wonder what Carla Bruni (pic in post below) would have to say about this pepto-bismol pink toreador costume and le petit champignon poking out of his pantalones! Hemingway would weep into his Mojito and moan about the sad state of his beloved macho bloodsport.