The moron writes to itself again, how pathetic!

Tap tap tap go the little moron's fingers on its keyboard as it taps out its handiwork, another self-humiliation message for its Owner to post here on her blog for all her readers and girlfriends to laugh it and they do, especially Nicole who takes great delite in knowing such a pathetic creature exists!

Poor little moron. It was so mortified that it came crawling back on its knees.

Poor pathetic idiot. It was so desperate that all it could say when it arrived was “Own me, please, I beg of You.”

Poor mindless zombie. It’s utterly disoriented, thinking only what it’s told to think, feeling only what it’s told to feel.

Poor jerk-off addict. It’s so wild over its enslavement to and adoration of its Owner that it finds every possible opportunity to jerk off as it imagines one more degrading insult after another at the hands of its Owner.

Poor little poet of submission. It is so deeply enslaved that it desperately tries to find any moment available to write humiliation messages to its idiot self.

Poor, sad little man with no integrity. It is so beaten down by its Owner that there is no line it is capable of drawing and saying, “No, this I can’t and won’t do.” It is now incapable of any resistance or defense to any command, direction, or instruction from its Owner.

Frightened little troll. It knows that its Owner will now use and abuse it in unheard of ways, and there is not a single thing it can do about it. Its Owner knows that She will not have to force any abuse upon it. That fragile resistance is just a game, a ploy to try to salvage some little shred of dignity. It will beg and plead for the abuse it craves from its OWNER.

And it will pay, and pay, and pay out of its own craving to give away to its OWNER anything and everything that might indicate potency of any kind. Especially financial tributes, since there isn't anything potent otherwise that the moron can offer!

QUEER WINDOW (by Gaywayne) Part I

Christopher Reeve (Superman) starred in a 1998 remake of the 1954 Hitchcock classic "Rear Window" followed by a teener remake titled "Disturbia" with nerdboy Shia LeBoeuf in 2007. Now Gaywayne offers a BBC story version entitled "Queer Window".

STORYLINE: Our hero Gaywayne buys a cheap pair of binoculars at a yard sale thinking they might come in handy for something like bird-watching, but he gets a BONAFIDE result when he focuses them on his next door neighbor's window. Seeing a hot stud coming out of the shower drying himself with a towel... The delicious naked man is a black marine who looks like the pornstar AFRO BIGCOCK (no relation to Alfred Hitchcock of course) on a weekend pass to fuck his pretty white girlfriend Lisa as she lays in bed waiting for him. Gaywayne can't believe how big this blackman's balls are hung when magnified.

Gaywayne finds out that the black marine is named Dante and is not surprised why his neighbor Lisa blows him off every time he made lame-ass whiteboy advances asking her out to dinner at Hooters or to the movies. Although Lisa always accepts his offers to wash her car, saying yeah knock yourself out Wayne, then giggles. Gaywayne admits to Sara about peeping around her car for evidence on how slutty Lisa might be, finding matchbooks to bars and club near the military base and one time Gaywayne found a pair of 'scented' red thongs stuffed under the passenger seat, which he pocketed and used later for yanking his doodle.

THE STORYLINE CONTINUES: Talk about peeping, how about aerial surveillance....Sara and Nicole are tired of Gaywayne thinking he might be a real man, so since Sara has figured out where Gaywayne lives, Sara and Nicole went on Google Earth to figure out which place was Lisa's and got her phone number on a reverse search. Oh the power of the internet.


RING RING: Hello Lisa? // Yes, who's this? // This is Sara and Nicole, we're not friends with, but we know Gaywayne, I mean your neighbor Wayne really well. // I see. // And we would love it if you would play a joke on him. He deserves it. // Why does he deserve it? // Well he's been peeping on you and your black marine boyfriend doing it. // What? That fuckin' pervin' faggot!!! // Yes, it's true and he also stole a pair of your thongs out of your car and wears them. // Double fuckin' sissy faggot!!! What do you want me to do?? // Well it's time to GAY him once and for all. Can you believe he went to Alaska thinking that would 'straighten' him out? He's more of a black cock loving faggot than ever!! Can you have your boyfriend distract him then replace his Playboy and Hustler magazines with a stack of XXXtra-Black Inches mags and take away all his straight porn and replace it with the XXX DVD series of blackmen fucking whiteboys called Black Titans. We can overnite the package of porn to you. It will be worth it to us to laugh our asses off. // Absolutely, my boyfriend can distract him, I've noticed Wayne, I mean Gaywayne always wants to talk to him or spend time with him and now I know why! // Well if you need to give either of your lips a rest from the beating they can take from a BBC, we're sure Gaywayne wouldn't mind servicing your black stud! // Actually that wouldn't be a bad idea, I wouldn't mind watching a silly white fagboy suck off my hung Afrocock stud. // (Giggles from Sara and Nicole and Lisa....)

to be continued....

My Funny Valentines!

a review of some of the nice things I have received on Valentine's Day from my paramours, fucktoys, family and slaves

Marisol

When I was with Marisol a few years ago, she surprised me with a weekender to the Bahamas' Atlantis resort. We spent the weekend tanning, sexing and partying.

toad

I met toad in late January 2007, but got really sick with the flu immediately after meeting him. Coincidence? Still I needed to extract something from the toad for Valentine's while I suffered thru my flu. So I ordered him to go to the club where Nicole works and give her my Valentine's card (with something special tucked inside) for her to give to me. Nicole and I engineered a very humiliating scenario. Nicole would put toad on the guestlist as Mr. Toad. Toad would have to announce himself as Mr. Toad in order to get in. Depending on how many guys were waiting at the door to get in, plus the doorguy himself, toad would be sheerly overwhelmed and completely mortified to announce his slave name, but would have to state he was Mr. Toad to enter the Princess' castle. Then toad would have to sit in the club and wait for Nicole to be featured. He would then have to give her the card and a tip for her to deliver the card to me. While waiting for Nicole to be featured, he would have to order drinks and not look at any of the girls. In fact, he was to be looking down. And he could only look at Nicole's feet while handing over the tip and card.

It went something like this:

Toad arrived. Unfortunately, there was no one else but the doorguy at the moment toad showed up. He stated he was Mr. Toad. The doorguy had been instructed to fuck with toad so he asked toad how to spell it. T-o-a-d, toad spelled it. The doorguy checked it off and told toad, Hop on in! Priceless. The doorguy later told Nicole that toad looked like he was going to piss his pants, he was so nervous.

Nicole wasn't sure how long toad had to wait before she was featured, but she said she saw the fugly creature approach the rail with a red envelope and tip money. He stammered out, This is for Sara and this is for you. She grabbed both. Thank you TOAD! Nicole said quite loud. But the music in the club drowned out Nicole's words. She didn't think anyone else but the toad heard. The toad slunk away.

Nicole texted me when she got a break that she had the card and her tip. Toad tipped her $100 she texted. Not bad. She texted asking if I wanted her to open the envelope to check out my take. I texted back YES! She reported $200. Not as much as I had hoped, but I got pissed at him and got more out of him on a later date. Oh and the card was like really schmarmy and schmaltzy, something you would give to a woman in her 40's, so I berated toad for not picking out a Valentine's card I truly deserved.

Bride of Chuckie

Charlie was my cuckold boyfriend for about a year. For that year I didn't have to do Niteflirt or work at the club as he was paying my way. I concentrated on school and entertaining my cuckold. Nicole called Charlie "Cuckie Chuckie" and referred to me as "Bride of Chuckie" during this time. Nicole made out on the Cuckie Chuckie deal too, because if I had to study and couldn't play with my cuckie, Chuckie was allowed to go to the club and give money to Nicole for lap dances. Nicole made sure to humiliate him by telling him how small his dick was, or that it must be limp, or that I wasn't really studying, I was probably fucking Jesse or Arion or Tim or.... Cuckie Chuckie would then be so horny by the time he left the club, he would get to my place and fuck me till I couldn't see straight. Now you are wondering hmmmm I fucked my cuckie? Well Charlie was an unusual cuckie, he was 7.5" and thick. He was turned on by being a cuckie, but was not underhung. While he fucked me he craved having me tell him stories about the large cocks I was fucking, tell him he wasn't a real man, tell him he was inadequate....

Charlie was a romantic cuckie. I remember for Valentine's, he gave me roses, an expensive watch, lingerie, candy. Spring Break was right around V-Day, so he took me to Jamaica for the perfect cuckold vacay. All good things come to an end and Charlie went off to Malibu for rehab and while he has been back to the area a few times since, he has not been in touch with me or Nicole (to find me). But I'd love to have a financially rewarding cuckold relationship again!!!

Mom

One year my Mom gave me a vintage Valentine's candy box stuffed with her homemade rum and chocolate truffles. I couldn't resist and ate 2 truffles on my way home, while driving. My breath was really rummy and I was worried if I got pulled over, that I would fail a breathalyzer lol. But luckily I didn't get pulled over by the po-po's. My girlfriends and I used to host rotating dinners about once a month, a tradition we should revive. I was hosting the next girlfriends dinner at my house and served the truffles as part of dessert and everyone loved them and couldn't believe my Mom made them, they were candy store perfect and extremely potent ;-)

fatfuck

fatfuck is usually good for some extra cash and / or a little shopping spree. This week I did the spree and got 3 cute tops and a new pair of skinny jeans.

This year....

My sister is coming down on Valentine's Day with her boyfriend to go out with my Mom and her boyfriend and me and my sister's boyfriend's brother (I know it's confusing) to an early dinner before Jorge's band (Jorge = Mom's boyfriend) must perform that nite. So I'm wondering 1) if Danny will give me something for V-Day 2) if my Mom has made any more truffles 3) If any of my admirers (including you bloggies) will bestow me with tributes or something that shows your devotion (Amazon e-Gift Certificates, Victoria's Secret e-Gift Certificates)

Old Lady Nicole's Birthday

Nicole is now 26 and this makes her an AARP card carrying senior citizen!!! She's prolly the oldest dancer at her club, altho she lies all the time, and says she is 23, yeah, she has been 23 for the past 3 years.

For Nicole's party, we surprised her with her own senior citizen party, and a cake that said:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAID!!

I gave her a stack of phone books to better see over the steering wheel with, in fact I put them right in her Mustang convertible, evil! Ember gave her granny panties and a girdle with garters and to complete the granny stripper ensemble, support hose! Taylor gave her a bunch of old lady remedies including Geritol, callous creme, and some pussy wettening suppositories!!!! Jenn went to some thrift shop and got her a cane! Jessica did better and got her a walker! Nicole was so pissed!!! Just wait till you're 27 bitches!!! she kept screeching at us. We all got totally bombe'd on Mansinthe, I'll have to blog about Mansinthe another time....

Go Tampa Bay!

Since the Marlins are out of the picture, I have no recourse but to root for the team on the other side of Florida, The Rays. Nicole called me earlier today with a joke:

Nicole: What is the difference between Evan Longoria* and Eva Longoria?

Me: Hmmmm, I dunno, ummmm, the letter N???

Nicole: Wow that is a good answer, but no, Evan likes playing with white balls and Eva likes playing with black ones.

Me: Well I'm glad we figured that out.

....Now, cum to think of it, I wouldn't mind playing with Evan Longoria's balls.

*of the Rays

Gaywayne, the Size Queen!

After reading 'Montreal Madness' (click on blog tag Gaywayne below to read the story), Nicole wondered why Gaywayne did not go to the adult bookstore across from the bar to suck cock. I finally got Gaywayne's response tonite.... Gaywayne said he did not go to the ABS because there were only little old man dickies to suck, no large cocks. He figured he'd have better luck hanging out where the action was. Gaywayne, the Size Queen! He only sucks big black cocks!

And for all of you considering a Montreal Madness sex-ay vacay, St. Catherine Street is where the red lite district is, according to our expert, Gaywayne!

And just for Gaywayne, I have included another gratuitous pic of Nicole, remember Nicole is his new boss...

Update from Gaywayne

We shall soon have a new Montreal sex district adventure from Gaywayne to post on my blog! As you can see, Gaywayne was so excited about seeing a hot pic of Nicole, that he typed in all caps!

WOW. THANKS FOR THE PLUG OF ME ON YOUR LASTEST BLOG REPORT. GOD.NICOLE LOOKS VERY BEAUTIFUL IN THE PICTURE WITH HER LIGHT BLOND HAIR. PLEASE TELL HER I WOULD DRESS UP AS A FRENCH MAID FOR MY NEW BOSS AND OF COURSE FOR YOU ANY TIME. i HOPE NICOLE MET SOME HOT BLACK JAMAICAN STUDS ON HER VACATION AS SHE SHOULD.

JUST GOT BACK FROM MONTREAL TODAY BECAUSE THE GAS IS A LITTLE CHEAPER. IT ONLY COST ME $ 70 DOLLARS TO DRIVE THERE AND BACK. TELL YOU ABOUT IT LATER.

P.S. i HOPE NICOLE TOLD THE JAMAICAN BLACK GUYS THAT US WHITE BOYS BACK HOME ARE JUST A BUNCH OF STUPID WEAK FAGS TO BE LAUGHED AT SO THAT'S WHY SHE IS IN THE WEST INDIES WHERE ALL PRETTY WHITE LADY'S SHOULD BE TO PARTY WITH THE BLACK MEN BECAUSE THE WHITE BOYS ARE ACTING LIKE THEY WANT THEIR CUTE LITTLE GIRLY ASSES TO BE CHERRY POPPED ONE DAY BY THE BIG BLACK MEN. LOL LOVE GAYWAYNE

Pretty white girls should get free flights to Jamaica, stupid weak fags should have to pay into a fund to cover this -- Sara

Gaywayne, Meet the New Boss!

Nicole laughed her ass off when she saw the ~betaboys blow bubbles for BBC~ Hotels.com commercial on tv and when she read your Poem in Honor of the Black Man. So, Gaywayne, meet the new boss!!!

Pic of Nicole on vacay in Jamaica, yes, you can only dream about why and what she was doing there....

Birthday Girl Gets Red Cheeks! And I don't mean blushing...

I was suspicious that one of the black bouncers at the club would be the BIG surprise in Ember's and I wasn't disappointed. Antonio, the hottest black bull with the monster log popped out of the cardboard cake and did a gyrating g-string dance around the party room, especially wagging it in my face. I was getting wet. I had heard he was packing 9 to 9 1/2" and thick and that he got complimentary blow jobs from the hung-dong luvin' dancers, sometimes 2 girls at a time. Not a bad gig to have where you get blow jobs on top of seeing hotties dance 99% nekkid.

It seemed that Betty Crocker was also invited to my party. 'Somebodies' homebaked a cake in 2 round pans, and frosted the cake with vanilla frosting and chocolate accents to look like 2 titties (next to each other), then the baking bitches used M&M's to write on the frosting:

25 KISS PERKY GOODBYE


Hahahaha very funny. Of course mis amigas used the candles that didn't blow out mixed with the ones that did. So my birthday wish will not cum true. "Titty fuck the cake" "titty fuck" "titty fuck" was the chant for Antonio. We all had to lick the frosting and cake smush off of Antonio's cock 'n' balls. Pure heaven.

But then I had an even BIGGER surprise. Nicole blindfolded me with a scarf and spun me around, while I was getting spun, Nic then pushed me over a guy's lap, I could tell it was a guy because he had pants on, and it wasn't Antonio, since A was g-strung. Who had cum into the room? My skirt got flipped up and I received 25 whacks to the chant of 1 2 3 "harder" 4 5 "harder" 6 7 "smack that ass"!!! Let's just say my ass is still sore. BUT....

And it's a big BUT, not talking about my butt....

But I still don't know who my mystery spanker was. And no one will tell me, no matter how much I beg. But this I do know. The party champagne was paid for by:

THE MYSTERY SPANKER!

I need to know who this spanker is. He had to have laid out at least $500, possibly more. I mean there is a possibility Nic is lying and that the whole party was comped and that the spanker was one of her customers who tipped her BIG for the opportunity of a lifetime. It could have been one of the other bouncers. Process of elimination: I know it wasn't fatfuck, I know it wasn't toad (spanker's hands were too big). It could have been one of my fucktoys. My girlfriends were getting way too crazed into it for it to have been a random guy. So I will rule out one of Nic's 'custies'. BUT I have to think of a way to find out. Any ideas?

Mark your calendars: January 27th is my Birthday!

My Mom is having a birthday dinner for me, she'll spend hours slaving over lasagne and tiramisu (dessert). It's her tradition to cook the most favorite meal for her birthday girls (either me or my sister). My sister will be coming down from Whore-lando, if only she could get down Saturday nite. Altho my birthday is officially Sunday, my girlfriends are taking me out on Saturday nite, as I'm taking the nite off to par-tay SoBe style. After midnite, it will be my birthday, officially. It's going to be my 25th, shhhhhh I may freeze my age on Niteflirt to 24 'fourever' hahaha.... My 'entourage' will be stopping by the club where Nicole works. I'm a little scared of what evil plan Nicole has in store for me as I've been warned there will be a BIG surprise. Hmmmm I suspect it may involve a big cock....

The New "Crack"

Nicole needs to stop sending me links to kitten videos on Youtube. Cute kitten videos are the new "crack". Whatever you do, do not go to Youtube and start watching cute kitten vids. You won't be able to stop.... (Or maybe kitten crack is just a girl thing?)

"Sick of the Dick"

Nicole reports that she is "sick of the dick". Apparently, this is an affliction dancers come down with when they are sick of grinding on dicks, regardless of size. It is a malaise of flu-like proportions, and it is enough, reports Nicole, to make her say bye-bye to bi and become a complete and total lesbian. Although she especially despises small peenies, she wants to take a permanent vacation from dicks. Period. Methinks she has been dancing for too long, 3 - 4 years is too long to be swinging around a pole and getting dick slime on your ass cheeks. I've told her she should do Nitespurt, but she says she has no patience to wait for the phone to ring. And contributing to this malaise, her whales and private clients @ the club have evaporated recently for one reason or another. It sounds like a good time for Nicole to get off the ride, but she's scared to get off, the $$ is intoxicating, she's addicted. I know it's time, nevertheless, she won't listen to me, because girls in glass houses....

Strippercize Me!

Nicole is threatening to leave her stripper job again f-o-r-e-v-e-r. This time her threat of leaving has one stiletto heel impaled in reality. She and another stripper want to start a stripping studio, where they and special guest artists would teach stripper aerobics, pole-dancing, pilates for sex, sexy yoga, etc. She's trying to connive her old slave, I mean old as in old, aged, decrepit, rich and withered, Abe, to invest in this. Don't you want to see me happy? Don't you want to see me succeed outside of the club? You said you were going to leave me some money, why not give me some now, and see my happiness.

We shall see, don't hold your breath waiting for this to happen, otherwise you might become anoxic....