Thursday, July 30, 2009

Queer Window Part II (by Gaywayne)

to get caught up, you can read Part I by clicking here

Dante said, "You know you can get in trouble with the law for Queer watching at your window while I'm taking a shower." I looked down. I was truly sorry and scared. Because he was in the military, I thought he could report me to both the MP's and the local 5-0 for being a peeping Queer. I told him I was sorry, truly sorry. He said, "Sorry shit. Prove it by watching the gay-ass DVD's here from Sara and Nicole for 2 weeks if you want back your Playboy mags back. Now get on your knees whiteboy."

I was so scared of this big black guy, without hesitation I got right on my knees. Dante got out of my chair and then pulled down his shorts showing off the biggest, most beautiful, well-shaped black cock that I had ever laid eyes on. I was shivering as he proceeded to walk right up to make me stare up close at his massive dong.

Dante said, "This what all you whiteboyz want ain't it? You crave it. Dream about it. Jealous all your white ladies are getting it and leaving you for it huh?" Dante got closer until his massive footlong was almost touching me. I looked down in panic, shame and dizziness.

Dante commanded, "Look at it whiteboy. Drool for it. This is the black prick that's going into all the white women and they're loving it. Now smell it. Take a good whiff of it. Deeper. You whiteboyz are never gonna git white pussy again so smell it." I smelled it and it was nasty. Then Dante grabbed the back of my head and pushed my face hard against his scary huge cock and said, "How does it feel whiteboy, good?" He was getting a little rough. I was scared and I have to confess, excited. I stammered, "It is the loveliest thing my face had ever pressed up against sir." He laughed knowing it was just a matter of time.

Dante said, "Now I want you go to bed tonight and dream about this thing against your face that replaced all you whiteboyz for the whitegirls and keep watching those dvd's, got it?" I nodded yes. Dante was right, I did dream about it. I dreamt about a world where whitegirls only did black men and white men were their slaves, toys or French Maids.

So for two weeks the gay movies of black men dominating whiteboyz were all I watched and I started to fall in love with them. Lisa laughed when I told her on the phone that Dante can keep my Playboys. "He doesn't need them," she informed me, "he can get the real thing anytime. Black men don't need to look at lame photos, porn is for whiteboyz who don't get any. I'm selling your collection on Craigslist and then Dante and I can go to Niagara Falls for a hot weekend of fucking and sucking the next time he gets weekend leave."

Fast forward a few weeks later. I ran into an old girlfriend at a bar. She had just broken up with her latest white boyfriend. When I tried to have sex with her, I could not get it up. I had to think about Dante's big cock against my face to get hard. She said afterwards that I must be turning fag. And that her most recent ex had also turned fag on her. If only she knew.

Fast forward to a few weeks after that. I moved into Lisa's place as a French Maid for her and Dante. If I didn't, Dante was going to report me for being a peeper. I hated my new job and I quit it, no great loss, why do what makes you unhappy in life? I still had the French Maid outfit I had purchased back in Alaska. I shaved myself from the neck down. It was like sissy initiation. Kiss being a man good-bye, if I ever was a real man that is.

I had to address Dante as sir and do as he commanded, get him a beer, rub his sore feet. Lisa's girlfriends thought it was weird when they walked in one afternoon and saw me ironing Dante's military uniforms and black g-strings in my cute outfit. They laughed, "You whiteboys are a bunch of fags." Another time, they got a big kick out of how I thanked Lisa up and down for giving me a condom full of Dante's cum. A reward for cleaning. The girls said, "What a fucking sissy. We're glad we gave up whiteboyz for black men."

Oh did I tell you I haven't gotten any cock from Dante yet? Here I thought I was gonna suck all the cock I needed when I moved in. He told me that it was reserved only for whitegirls. Instead he gave me a website to go to that had a secret password. At the site, black men registered their whiteboy slaves. "Removed from inferior whiteboy smalldick gene pool", was one of the comments I read after a "registration". There was a place to upload photos of the black owners and the whiteboy slaves. I also had to list all of my ex-girlfriends and their contact info. Pictures of me dressed as a French Maid serving Lisa and Dante would be sent to all of them along with a note about how I had been caught and turned into a total Queer slave to a superior black man. At the site, there were slave auctions and trades. I shivered. If I did not serve my Master in a way that pleased him, he could trade or auction me!

Sara and Nicole spoke with Lisa on the phone and laughed at how in my case "be careful of what you wish for" had come true. To move in with Lisa, I had rented out my house. I had given up my regular job here in New York when I went to Alaska, I now had no debts or obligations except to serve the superior black man and of course white women. My fate both scared and exhilarated me. I asked Dante if I would ever be able to suck black cock and he said no, that I could suck off other whiteboy slaves, because we deserved each other's little pinkie dicks. He did say I could lick his balls and lick his ass and lick his feet. So now I have to be content tonguing and lapping and slurping all over my Master's balls, tonguing his superior ass and worshipping his massive feet. He said he might let me suck some pinkie dicks soon. I really don't want to do that, but if it pleases my Master, I must obey.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Calling All Losers!

The latest Loser of the Month has inspired or depressed so many of you to ask, how do I become one of Sara's Losers of the Month!?! Well let me tell you.... All you need to do is submit a pic of yourself, I somewhat dislike posting peenie pics, it's already a given that losers have worthless pindicks and marshmallow nutsacks, so send a regular pic of you that tells a thousand words and all of them are LOSER. You can cut your head off, figuratively, as the Blue Whale did below. But you must write up why you are a loser and be convincing. Email your pic and loser love letter to me on Niteflirt!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

August Loser of the Month!!!!

The Blue Whale!

Hi Sara, please make me the Loser of the Month for August. I noticed you haven't posted any loser of the months lately. So here's my picture. Sorry I had to chop off my head. I mean on the picture. I know I have to write about why I'm a loser to prove I deserve to be your Loser of the Month. First of all I am fat. I can't find clothes that fit me. I sweat a lot in the summer but I have to wear a shirt and tie at my job. But at the end of the day here is what I look like. I know. You're probably thinking gross!!!

I haven't had a girlfriend in about 10 years and 50 pounds ago and she was fat too. I have a small dick about 5 inches. I'm addicted to porn. I live at home with my Mom and my Mom's boyfriend, who is using my Mom because he has no job. He collects disability for a back injury from a job yeeeeears ago. I keep telling her he's a loser and she says to shut-up that the pot don't call the kettle black. Then my fat sister moved back after she got divorced so I had to move to the basement.

It's not bad because after everyone goes to sleep I do my porn and call Niteflirt. And I stealth wank to other things. Like I call my Frequent Flyer club and ask how many miles I have and if there are any specials. I have to fly to another city for work a lot and I have a lot of miles but I haven't flown anywhere else yet. Do you have any suggestions where I should go? Or maybe I should give my miles to a pretty girl. Like you or Nicole. Because no one wants to sit next to a fat guy on an airplane. So I call the Frequent Flyer club and there are only women who answer questions. First of all they say I can find all of my answers at their website but I lie and say I don't have a computer and can't use the work computer for personal surfing. Then they say they understand. So I ask my questions and they answer from a script and I jerk off and then I cum and then I hang up.

I can't think of anything else except I eat a lot too, at work, on my way home from work, when I get home from work, snack all nite on junk food. My Mom says she's going to leave the house to my sister when she dies and nothing to me because she says she saw a few of my paystubs and I make enough money to do something with my life. But I blow it all on food and porn and everyone in my family borrows money from me. Should I remind them of that. But then they will remind me I'm a loser.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Everyone Hates....

the One Minute Bitch!!

on Niteflirt! Her annoying 'One Minute Remaining' cues on Niteflirt calls are like nails on a chalkboard. Many have asked, who is the One Minute Bitch? There are only rumors and an internet urban legend that she was an actual phonesex girl who found her way onto Keen when it first opened for biz back in 1999 timeframe and had the voice that launched a thousand cringes. Because she was in the Bay area, home to the Keen / Niteflirt conglomerate, she was asked to come in and record all the voice prompts we have cum to know and HATE! I wonder if she was paid enough never to do phonesex again, because no one I know said that they've heard her sultry, typo I mean slutty tones live since. Did they give her a piece of the Keen action, so that when Keen was sold to AT&T, she now has shares of stock and is set for life? In that case, why couldn't I have been the One Minute Bitch?

One of my favorite callers has a slightly different theory:

NiteFlirt 1-min Lady (slut) must have been jealous, b/c she disconnected us... and you just don't do that to the royal Queen Sara!!!! (I always knew the one-minute lady was bi.)

Yes, we were disconnected right at the one minute warning mark! That slut!

Back on Black!

in which peewee makes me jealous that my current black-male crush is with Miss Wales....

In my most recent UK Jungle Fever Update, which you kindly published on your stupendous blog, I referred to serial celeb-u-hottie shagger, pro footballer (that's a soccer player to all of my USofA bloggies), Jermain Defoe. You will recall Mr. Defoe, because you remarked privately to me that you would love a bit of Jermain yourself but, alas, regretfully believed that you were not his type. Presumably, you based this notion on the knowledge that he has previously seemed preoccupied with busty blonde glamour models, such as Sophie Reade from the Big Brother house (as featured in my more recent contribution to your blog). Well, I do believe his latest 'squeeze' will convince you otherwise. Jermain is dating Imogen Thomas, a former Miss Wales and a former Big Brother contestant. Imogen happens to be a sultry, pretty, 20-something brunette. OK, so she's not 'Sara Standard', but she's undoubtedly hot. And she's known to really like the black cock, as she's dated a string of footballers, mostly black. The attached article features pictures of Jermain with Imogen, and indeed with his previous girls. It's quite clear that he is exactly what girls want.


I am committed to you, and know my place as your cuckold. But if I were to see you publicly become Jermain's new WAG**, flaunting your perfection in front of our nation, that would be hard to take. Especially because he always plays so well against my team, Liverpool! The damned Barsteward!!

He is rumored to be extremely well hung, so yes I am jealous of all the hotties who have tried it out for size! Sara

**WAG = Wives and Girlfriends, Brit acronym for hotties who seek out wealthy footballers to bed and wed, Posh a/k/a Victoria Beckham is Queen of the WAGS....

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Big Brother Black-Male Plot

from peewee, my intrepid UK blog reporter:

The update on Sophie Reade, who you featured on a previous blog post, is interesting. Her fake Big Brother boyfriend has just been evicted and so she is now feigning heartbreak, presumably to avoid alienating the voting public and also to avoid any reprimands for fake romances. But the Big Brother Bosses have hatched a cunning plan to finally expose the romance as a 'showmance'. And how do they intend to do it? Well, how better than to introduce a big black man to the house! Pretty white girls in the UK are absolutely crazy for black guys, as my previous UK Jungle Fever reports have demonstrated, and Sophie is no different. So it will be fascinating to see just how quickly she forgets about her floppy and foppy white ex when she is faced with the enticing prospect of a big black stud! I give it a week - maximum! The article, outlining the 'Black Male' plan, was featured in today's Sunday Star tabloid.
Black Maled!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

peewee fears UK Footie has gone totally Queer!

from my intrepid UK blog reporter peewee....

Questions have to be asked. Particularly as it is common knowledge that a top player, Frank Lampard, was interrupted mid-shower by his then-coach, the ever metrosexual Jose Mourinho, to tell him that he was the best midfielder in the world!

Seriously, football in the UK is becoming so queer. It's starting to resemble the volleyball sequence in Top Gun, so much so that I expect ESPN (who have just bought rights to certain Premiership games) will start compiling post-game edit sequences set to the song 'Playing with the Boys'!!!

And now for everyone's GAY viewing pleasure, the Top Gun volleyball scene complete with one of the gayest songs ever! Sara

Just for Peewee

Cheryl Cole from Girls Aloud on her Birthday

She looks more like the cake and the frosting! And her footie star hubby is hotness too....

Exploring Corsica...

"I saw Megan Fox on Yahoo Tuesday, sexy, yes....but I would stride right past her if I saw you out somewhere. I see you as a pretty complex woman, with layers of cynicism and idealism inside. To get to the real Sara would be like exploring... Corsica... :-) not really, well maybe. I mean the complexity of beaches w/ mountains and all that in between."

Yes, I've been 'accused' of being somewhat complex. But I rarely if ever let a man get close enough to me to explore the complexity. Sexually, yes, to men who I deem cock-worthy or fuck-worthy. But since the demise of my relationship with Cuckie Chuckie, I've taken myself out of being girlfriend-able. Fuck-able yes, girlfriend-able no.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

OMG GAYest thing I've ever read!

Since the screen capture is difficult to read, here is the text:

59 yo retired male looking for a discreet bud to meet regularly for JO only. straight guys only no gay stuff. hairy a plus on stomach and chest but please be clean shaven down there. The twist is that I want a bud who can come live with me during storm season so we can go outside and JO during a tornado. My ultimate fantasy is to have us tied with leather belts to pipes like Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton did at the end of the movie Twister and have our feet being sucked up into the vortex and while we are doing that we can JO (poss. handjob exchange) to climax into the vortex. Obviously this is impossible and dangerous to attempt so I would be Ok with just JO looking at a tornado. Let's meet up and find out if you are the regular JO bud I need for the job.

no reply without face + dick pics. are you man enough.