Monday, March 31, 2008

Don't Fall Asleep!

Your pod is waiting....

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Congratulations Graduate... not another party!

My Mother is planning a graduation party for me. Clear the decks! I tried to talk her out of it. Basically, I had wanted to graduate without fanfare and shuffle off to my first real job. OK so maybe I wanted a few Hallmark CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATE cards with lots of cash tucked inside so I could reduce my indebtedness to Sallie Mae and my Dad's 0% credit cards 'tuition loan' program.

Well the most interesting news about my party is that I told my Mother to invite the TOAD, one of my slaves. My friends and I are a-twitter as to whether he will make a toadly appearance.

I have one job offer so far and it looks like I may be in the running for another, I have a second interview this week. Ironically, what I will be making, after spending a fortune on my education, will be less than what I generally average per hour at the club, or per hour on a good nite on Niteflirt. This says alot about the priorities in a world where sex and serving libation sensations pay better than providing a therapeutic health service.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Final Installment to: Dark Montreal Meat -- by Gaywayne

When Danielle the lady stripper at the T&A club, who I humiliated the night before, looked at me, I realized my cover as a straight guy was over. She railed at me: "So you really are a closet fag aren't you? I mean why else would you be at a male strip joint tonight wearing a a little thong that says Black Cock Only. Mmmmmm?" For the first time in my life I was speechless and felt extremely embarrassed. "I'm surprised you were at a straight guys club you gay fuck when you really crave the dark sausage." I knew my turn for humiliation had now arrived.

Danielle went on: "Remember last night when you and your five whiteboy friends paid money to the black female dancer so you culd lick out her asshole in the little cutout from the ceiling in the booth?" "Yes how could I forget?" " Well that was not really her asshole. It was my big black hung stud lover who's on stage dancing right now. So that makes all you guys who said you loved it, a bunch of fucking white fags for a black man's asshole." I swallowed hard as one of her girlfriends spit out her drink from laughing so hard. She said, "So you like licking a black man's asshole you fucking white fairy? Them maybe you'll love his front member too." With that her black lover came off stage and joined us.

Danielle said, "Hey Reggie, you have another gay customer!" I blushed with my head down. Reggie said, "Well I just love little whiteboys who are caught in the web of my big black Johnson. And you will be." He grabbed me by my arm and said, "We Jamaicans just love your white women. Now you're gonna see what you been missing. You will never want white pussy again. I promise. Cough up $20 bucks punk." Danielle said: "I have to see this!" All the Montreal college girls who knew what was going on cheered us on as the three of us headed towards the back booth.

Once in the booth Reggie slowly rolled down his tight g-string which made my mouth water as he exposed his enormous beautiful black cock as Danielle and I sat down and he stood up. Reggie said: "So what do you think whiteboy?" I said: "Well for the first time, sir, I feel so ashamed to to be a whiteboy." They laughed. "Describe his manly beauty." Danielle said. I said: "Sir, I just love the way those big think veins stick out of your gorgeous long thick trunk of a cock." "Go on." "I also love the romantic huge mushroom head of you prick, Sir, and the thick kinky pubic hair make a lovely frame for the background of your big willie." They both cracked up.

His master prick was looking better by the second. I said "With all due respect Sir. Any whiteboy would die for the right to lick off the sweat off your wonderful moist balls." LOL. Danielle said: "Now get on your knees and start begging you lowlife white fag." I did as they told me to pucker my lipsticked sissy lips. I said: "I want to thank you, Sir, and all your superior brothers for taking away all the white ladies away from us queenie whiteboys." With that I planted a sweet little picture perfect kiss at the base at Reggie's big cock. A chill went up my spine when Danielle smiled and said: "Oh that's so cute. I love to see you white boys who know your inferior place." I continued... "The white ladies are very smart to replace us white wimpy queers with real men. Beautiful black men at that." Danielle pushed her foot against my head and said: "Beg harder Queer." I begged the big black stud even harder and planted another sweet long loving kiss on his manly black cock. I said: "Sir, can you jerk off in my mouth so I can taste your sweet lovely sperm and prove to all the white girls what cum-breath little white fag I am? Please,`Sir!"

Danielle said: "The black man's cum is too good for you. It's for white women only." Reggie hinted that he did have to take a piss. Danielle demanded: "Open your mouth wide this is what you white boys really deserve! Piss breath!" My heart was pounding furiously. I could not believe it. To be this degraded made me wobbly and weak. He aimed his cock right next to my big open mouth. Danelle said: "You talk alot of piss and now you're going to get it back piss-mouth." I was getting weaker. She said. "Ready now? Then fire away." My mind when blank as I fainted. When I woke up the janitor was chasing me, swinging his mop, the place was closed. I still don't know if I drank any piss. I don't think so. I think fainting saved me from that fate. But all the money was gone from my wallet. THE END by Gaywayne

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Getting Laid the Captain Kirk Way

Space pussy, the final frontier....

OK, one of my fans is a Trekkie, yes, he probably has a blow-up doll dressed up as Jeri Ryan and spends every nite cruising and posting in the Star Trek forums. Well... he told me he just bought a book called "Captain Kirk's Guide to Women" and was hoping this might help him get girls in real life. Ummmm hmmmm it might help him seduce Borg hotties or Vulcan bitches in his dreams, but it will not help him score girls on Planet Earth.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Lady Godiva

A fan emailed me a pic the famous painting of Lady Godiva on her horse and said he thought I looked alot like Lady G. Thoughts?

Lady Godiva's Brief Bio

c.1040–80, wife of Leofric, earl of Mercia; famous for her legendary ride through the city of Coventry. She was a benefactor of several monasteries, especially that at Coventry, which she and her husband founded (1043). The legend about her, which first appears in the chronicle of Roger of Wendover, states that her husband agreed to refrain from heavy taxation on the people of Coventry if she would ride naked through the town on a white horse. The story of Peeping Tom, the only person who looked through the closed shutters, did not enter the legend until the 17th cent. Michael Drayton (1613), Tennyson (1842), and others made Lady Godiva the subject of poems. A bronze statue of her by Sir William Reid Dick was erected in Coventry in 1949.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Gratuitous Modeling Photo

The modeling agency put out an APB for everyone to submit a test shot for a Florida citrus ad campaign. No, I wasn't chosen as the model. I've done so little legit modeling, it's pathetic. Every pretty girl in Miami is a model. Most of the time modeling is a cover story designed to erase the reality of crapjobs, escorting or hoping to be discovered by a top model scout at Starbucks. My modeling hopes, I realize, are dashed against the rocks. I leave a trail of car show, wedding show, boat show gigs, desperate for rent money nude shots behind me, crumbs I hope will not be trace-able once I enter career-land. Ask me what I do and depending on my mood and who's asking, it's grad student, bottle hostess, model or Mistress. Soon I will add another occupation to the list when I graduate. It will be time to leave modeling behind. Leave bottle hostessing behind. But I will be continuing with Niteflirt, to pay down my tuition loans.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Biggest Loser of the Month: Brian le Boob

March Biggest Loser of the Month: Brian le Boob

Dear Sara

I hope you will make me the loser of the month. I haven't had a girlfriend in 5 years. The last girlfriend I had convinced me to pay for her plastic surgery. Idiot (me) paid for her to get a 'boob job'. As soon as she got that, she broke up with me. She only had sex with me twice and also made me take her shopping, that was basically how we 'dated'. We went shopping, I bought her things, then we went out to dinner. Then she would get some cash out of me, so she could go out with her 'friends'. And she took things out of my house, if she liked something: a framed print, an espresso machine, an oriental rug, those things and more all went to her apartment. Then this pretty married woman at work, she was going through a divorce, I lent her money to help her out, thousands over 6 months. She left the company, and moved out of the area after the divorce was finalized. I thought we would start dating as soon as she divorced, at least that's what she led me to believe. I'm so pathetic, a real idiot. Please punish me by making me the loser of the month I beg of you.


Consider it done! Sara

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Small Dick Salutes Control Speeders in Australia!

One of my callers from Down Under, alerted me to a must-blog item about an ad campaign from the RTA (Royal Transportation Authority) in Australia. Billboards and tv commercials indicate that the small peenie salute is totaly appropriate to give to drivers who are speeding or hotdogging.

You tube video of the tv ad:

No One Thinks Big of You!

Yes, even Granny does the small pinkie wave!

The RTA feels the ad campaign has been successful and plan to continue with it. But all I can say now is PLEASE LET THESE ADS COME TO AMERICA! I would be the billboard girl for free!

Thanks to for some of the details about the campaign.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Tom from Myspace still needs to be my Bitch!

This is the first pic I've ever seen of Tom from Myspace in a standing pose. Ignore the rest of the posse, now I can see, this shorty abso-faggily needs to be my bitch. Hmmm is that some toupee action on his head or does he have naturally thick tresses, only his ghey hairdresser knows for sure.

I really need a rich slave. I'm tired of working my ass off at the club and pimping myself on Niteflirt. My beauty and power are being wasted on 99% of those who truly don't appreciate it.

Dawn of the Dead -- Overheard at the Club

One dude to a bunch of friends:

There's alot of zombie action at this club tonite....