Sunday, May 25, 2008

Larry Craig -- The Bobblefoot Doll!!!

Perfect for my desk or yours!! A Minnesota minor league baseball team is giving away this special limited edition Bobblefoot Doll at today's game, to the first 2,500 thru the door. Dolls are already popping or rather bobbling up on eBay. Bidding is hot and heavy!

Click on the blog posting link above for the story on the Bobblefoot Dolls at The Smoking Gun!

Overheard at the Club

One dude to another:

Watching a video on Porntube is like watching 3 people fucking thru a keyhole.

Hmmm sounds like he speaks from experience....

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Saras iPudd

I heart you Miss Sara. It's that simple. And my mantitties heart you, too. And my junky pudd hearts you. it hearts you so much that i have named my entire wobbly 'n' gobbly self (including my mushy buttcheeks) after it: "Saras iPudd." May i be your iPudd, Miss Sara? And may i PiggyPiggyPuhleeease share a fantasy i have about you? I god. I dream about being your kicktard cucktard. As your last-class monkey every day you make me gobble-gobble Reeses PiggyButter Kupps, cake, ice cream, sticks of butter and spray whipcream to fat-fat-fatten me upp and make me irrevocably fugly and completely unappealing to other women while you go out and prowl for BBC (so big your pussy makes a popping sound when he pulls out!). My dream-scene: "You dirty fucker!" you tell the BBC on top of you as your eyes roll back in your head and you beat on his chest and pussyspasm gloriously around his tree-stump cock again. After your legs stop twitching your toes come uncurled and you lay there for a full two minutes, with your arms still around him. You open your big, beautiful, mischievous eyes and look over at me all alone with my frown. Then you look up at him again with adoration and a sparkle, "Teabag him," you smile, and bite his nipple and start giggling musically as you look at me out of the corner of your eye. I look at your pussyjuice on his ballsack and feel the fear hit my chest. I love you Sara, and wish you only the BiggestBC. Love, your eensie-butteensie iPudd.

Pennies from Blogging

Sara, your blog has been black lately and I loves it. Maybe you could just do a black theme blog. I know you're superbusy but I think a big and black blog would bring you even more attention and money.

I don't have time to do yet another blog.... I make pennies from blogging selling 'admission tickets', my blogs don't pay my bills. If you want to pay me to do a BBC blog, then I'd be interested. Pay per post for my time and research hahaha. On the flip side, I did look into having ads and google adsense on my blogs, but I don't have the time or know-how to set this up. If someone who reads my blogs can advise me and can do html in their sleep, email me.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

When Dildos Fly....

To disrupt a speech given by Gary Kasparov (member of an anti-Putin politico group in Russia), anonymous Kremlinists launched an 'attack'. Specifically, it was 8 inches long and thick and it could fly! If only this would happen when McCain was delivering a spiel.

See the Flying Dildo Helicopter in Action!!

Click on my blog post title for a more detailed article on the flying penis from blog including a translation of what Kasparov said after the incident which evoked laughter from the crowd....

Peewee's Alpha BBC Theory :: ABBC

submitted by my admirer peewee ::

I've been giving much thought to the alpha/beta theories you have so eloquently discussed in previous blogs. And I have devised a sociological theory myself. But I need a female's critique before I can assert that it is a fully realised concept ready for the Science Journal section of the libraries!

It would be my assertion that, in generations gone by, beautiful feminine women have always been attracted to alpha males. But your comments lead me to believe that the alpha male demographic has changed over time. The consistent factor determining the 'Alpha' male has been 'BBC'. So I'll call it my ABBC theory.

Previous generations of the civilised world's female population became 'weak at the knees' for 'Benevolent Brave' Cock (BBC), in a world of chivalry, gentleman... and Cary Grant.

These attributes became less and less prized as alpha male traits whilst women became empowered and instead made a beeline for 'Bad Boy' Cock (BBC). Countless women used to swoon over the bad boys, who were labelled alpha males for their dangerous, exciting attitude and behaviour, personified by the likes of Mick Jagger.

However, it seems that the new ultimate male fantasy figure has trascended into black.... 'Big Black' Cock (BBC), with girls flocking to the size, rhythm and taboo of black men, represented in the public eye by countless pro-athletes and R&B/Rap stars. Nowadays, it doesn't matter how brave, bounteous and benevolent a gentlemen is, or how bad a boy they are :- without a big appendage present-day men are unable to procure alpha status! You said it yourself, women simply reject the concept of an alpha male with a beta cock.

Harsh but fair!

Monday, May 19, 2008

May's Looooser of the Month: Benj-a-Dork

Dear Mistress,

I know I'm a wrestling dork. Please don't tell me I'm gay because I watch wrestling and date T-girls. Trannies are chicks w/dicks right. I'd date wrestling divas but they wouldn't date a fanboy, me. I have to pay this one T-girl $100 to blow me, extra if I wear my belt. Once I told this T-girl I'd like to take her to dinner and kiss her and be nice to her but she just told me to fuck off. Sometimes I'll suck a T-girl too. It's just that they'll tell me they're too tired to suck me or don't want to mess up their lipstick for their next date.


Dear Benj

You wouldn't know what to do to a pussy if it was staring you in the face. You are either the sucker or the suckee of a cock. Therefore, you are GAY!


My Favorite Graduation Card

Most of the cards were corny, Hallmark schmaltz and schlop. This card was different. The tag line was: Congratulations, You Nailed It! And this is what I really want to do to some of my slaves.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Gaywayne responds....

Irony Mz Sara! Last night I watched a porno movie where two guys shared a long double-header dildo. A woman held the middle of the dildo while each end was inside the guys' buttcheeks. I'm used to seeing old pornos where two girls share a dildo, but not two dudes. Whatever happened to fine lesbian porn. Now the local adult bookstore has all gay, forced bi, interracial, BDSM and kink titles to rent or buy, you can't even find girl-girl.

One more thing. Do you believe that a guy should frenchkiss his best male friend after knowing him for 5 years (to prove his friendship) in private or do it in front of a group of girls who like to make fun of fags? Some girls feel if you believe in a boys night out (there's something queer about you) then you should prove it by kissing a guy. Do you believe that Mz Sara?

The US to Canadian Dollar exchange rate sucks and gas is so expensive right now, I won't be going to Canada anytime soon.

LOVE Gaywayne

Boys Nite Out is always queer whether or not any gay action happens, you still go home and jerk off to the homoerotic overtones....Sara

Where's Dildo?

I think I better send Gaywayne to Dildo, Newfoundland on assignment! If you search thru my blog, you'll find plenty of Gaywayne adventures in Canada. Those Canadians! Check out the map. Dildo is near Conception Bay, Cape Spear and Holyrodd?

PS Another bloggie reader pointed out two other kinky town names on the map: Mount Pearl (haha you can mount Pearl) and Bay Bulls. Canadians know how to name their towns!

My kitchen dildo adventure?

I received this spam email....

From: bart anthony
Sent: Fri, 9 May 2008 12:34 pm
Subject: Kitchen dildo adventure cork-me

Toothbrush fucking thanks rocks milk and hints

I only wish I knew if this was something 'lost in translation' or if I clicked on the link, my kitchen dildo adventure cork-me would begin. I deleted the link, fearing if I did click, my computer would be assaulted by spyware.

Cox on Demand

One of my bloggies alerted me to Cox on Demand, his cable company's On Demand Service. He wishes there were Cocks on Demand....But what's even funnier is the gay Cox on Demand virtual tour guide....

Friday, May 02, 2008

Always Bet on Black Part III

Barbara Walters, publicity queen, has revealed that back in the 70's, she was 'on the black cock', specifically the first black Senator's cock, Sen. Edward Brooke. I never pictured BabaWawa as a size queen, or a BBC queen, it just goes to show you, you nevuh nevuh know....

Bid on this Priceless Objet d'Art on eBay!

Click on ----> Priceless!

Note: It's fashioned from a 'rare' penis-shaped cashew! Who is the fucker who started the sell your food-find trend on eBay. People have sold potato chips shaped like various states, penis carrots, swordfighting Cheetos, the Virgin Mary grilled cheese, ad nauseum.