Saturday, June 30, 2007

Alpha vs. Beta

This list was drafted by one of my 'mastur-betas' (wink wink). Enjoy!

REAL MAN "ALPHA"

Large cock

Has a girlfriend, lovers or wife


"MASCULINE"


Muscular body


Hero, leader, hunk, stud, fit


Makes love


Winner


Girls admire him


Talks to girlfriend over phone and gets her hot


Women often give sexual hints and talk in sexual manner to him


Frequently has sex


Frequently receives blowjob from gf/wife


Sexually fulfilled


Gets it for “free”


Frequently permitted to handle, kiss and caress a girl's lovely breasts


Buys sex toys only to enhance lovemaking


Rarely solo masturbates


Girls like to be seen with him in public


At school was typically picked early on for sports teams, and was watched and admired by pretty girls


Expert at removing bras, panties etc from a woman


When aroused thinks of his woman or women


Cock gets hard when it needs to be


Main thing that flows between real man’s
cock and girl is sperm


Drives a “manly” car


Lives in a big house


As an animal would be dominant male who gets to mate with female


Strong swimmer, looks good on beach


Good at practical things, good with his hands, attractive to girls


Knows and frequently told that he is a good lover


Understands that sex and lovemaking is a central part of life


Tall


Father’s children – nature’s survival of the fittest



“Big hands, big feet = big cock”

Respected male in society


Number of times a real man has experienced the utterly blissful feeling of moving his cock in and out of gorgeous girl’s body over the past 3 years : many thousands = real man!!


Arrives late at parties, never leaves alone

* * * * * * * *

Pathetic mastur 'beta'

Pussy sized penis

His girlfriend is his hand, baby oil and centerfolds

Weak, skinny, effeminate body

Wimp, geek, nerd, sissy, dork, bed wetter

Humps and stains mattress

Loser

Girls secretly -- and often openly -- giggle at him

Talks to phone sex girls- girls laughs as he gets turned on by doing things to humiliate himself

Often hears “Lets JUST be friends lil guy"

Women often giggle and mention they have a boyfriend (even though they don't)

Women instinctually resort to baby talk to "him"

NEVER has sex-can't get a date; possibly still a virgin

Only experience of blowjobs is watching others (eg cam or film) or able to suck own cock (doubtful!!) or sucking real cocks (gay)

Sexually deprived constantly

Has to pay (only to talk to pretty girls)

Fondles his own pink water balloons in the bra he wears

Buys sex toys to enhance masturbation

Masturbates many times a day

Girls embarassed and won't be seen with him in public

At school was typically given wedgies and had pants pulled down by bigger guys in front girls, and was giggled at by pretty girls

Expert at dressing in bras, panties, baby doll and high heels

When aroused thinks of his playboys and masturbating

Penis usually hard, sore from masturbating and never satisfied

Always wanting and thinking about sex but never gets it, keeping him sexually tense and a masturbator

Main thing that flows between mastur-beta’s penis and girl is money

Drives a nerdy car (or does not drive and must take bus)

Lives with parents

As an animal would be weaker male, pushed to one side who does not get to mate

Weak swimmer, looks “effeminate” on beach

Good at nerdy thinking type things, clumsy with his hands, does not attract girls

Often wears panties under nerdy clothes

Frequently told that the size, thickness of a penis DOES matter -- and that he doesn't measure up

Needs to be constantly reminded that masturbation just does not compare to sexual play between two people in love

Short or must wear 'boost' heels to "feel" taller

Not married – or cuckolded - nature’s elimination of the weakest

Middle aged, weak, balding

Would consider buying a doll for himself
(from sex shop)

Girls giggle when they see him with a boner (only when his roomate walks in on him masturbating or has pants pulled down in front of them!)

“Small hands, small dainty feet = small penis” often paints toenails pink for feminizing turn on!

Young or middle aged man who works at female oriented jobs (Secretary, waitress, nurses aide, male cheerleader)

Constant mastur-beta

Number of times masturbator has experienced the utterly blissful feeling of moving his penis in and out of a woman’s body over the past 3 years : zero !!

Arrives early at parties , always leaves alone to run home and masturbate to all the pretty girls he sees

Fartman


Sara I will pay you extra to really fart on me when I call. I will pay you to eat boiled cabbage, hard boiled eggs and refried beans so you can really sit on my face and fart on me. Just tell me how much you want so I can sniff the farts right out of your ass.

Unfortunately, scat is against the rules on Niteflirt or else I would have made him pay for me to eat some Cuban cuisine and put on a fart fireworks display.

When I told Nicole about 'Fartman', she laughed, because there was a guy who came to the club a while back and wanted the girls to fart on him while they were giving lap dances and offered to pay extra to anyone who could. Maybe it's the same fart sniffer? Nicole said he was asked to leave the club, but she's heard from other dancers around town, that he's making the rounds.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Strippercize Me!


Nicole is threatening to leave her stripper job again f-o-r-e-v-e-r. This time her threat of leaving has one stiletto heel impaled in reality. She and another stripper want to start a stripping studio, where they and special guest artists would teach stripper aerobics, pole-dancing, pilates for sex, sexy yoga, etc. She's trying to connive her old slave, I mean old as in old, aged, decrepit, rich and withered, Abe, to invest in this. Don't you want to see me happy? Don't you want to see me succeed outside of the club? You said you were going to leave me some money, why not give me some now, and see my happiness.

We shall see, don't hold your breath waiting for this to happen, otherwise you might become anoxic....

Overheard at the Club



Guys often seem stymied at the club where I work as to why they are not 'scoring' with the ladies. Could it be because they display such gay behaviors?

Check out this Overheard at the Club tidbit....


And this is another version of the rear naked choke (guy has another guy in a headlock and that guy's face is turning red to purple)

As I walk by, the choker says...Whoa...(and I give him the finger)

Later, he asks why I gave him the finger (in front of his 3 amigos)

Wrestling is so gay, I say, and walk away

Ouch, one of the amigos says

But I'm not gay, he protests

Oh he's gay, he just doesn't know it yet....Sara

Friday, June 15, 2007

Overheard at the Club!


One girl to another:

Men are just dogs, I don't even know why we let them hump us.

I agree, just make them hump furniture instead....Sara

Thursday, June 14, 2007

June's Loser of the Month


JUNE'S BIGGEST LOSER OF THE MONTH

You had thought I had forgotten the June Loser? Still, this nerd is no competition for the fierce Stinkbob. SerfNerd reports that hasn't had a girlfriend in a while, not even a girl nerd. He spends all of his free time playing video games, living in There.com (he wouldn't show me his avatar, although I'm sure it's manly, unlike the nerd) and of course he surfs online for porn. I can't even turn him totally gay right now because no sane or sober man would let SerfNerd suck his dick with that tangle of orthodontia.

Penis Size



4 inches

You Know You're a Sissy or Cuckold if.... ( a test by Fagqueen!! )

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A SISSY OR CUCKOLD IF........

1. IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU TO ASK FOR THE MAN IN THE HOUSE AND YOU HOLD THE PHONE
WHILE YOU YELL FOR YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND'S LOVER FROM YOUR BEDROOM

2.IF YOU STOP AT A TRAFFIC LIGHT WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF CARS BEHIND YOU TO ASK A TRAFFIC COP IF HE HE COULD POINT TO YOU ON YOU MAP FOR THE DIRECTIONS TO GAYLAND

3.IF YOU ASK YOUR GIRLFRIEND IF SHE COULD OPEN THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR FOR YOU AND SHE DOES (AND THEN SHE SUGGESTS YOU FUCK THE PEANUT BUTTER WITH YOUR SISSYSTICK)

4. IF YOU CALL CAFEPRESS TO ASK DO THEY ALSO HAVE A (GAY) MEN'S VERSION OF A BLACK COCK ONLY THONG FOR WOMEN (as i did)

5. YOU RUSH YOUR CAR OFF THE HIGHWAY EXIT AFTER SEEING SIGNS FOR BOBS BIG BOY RESTAURANT THEN WHISPERS IN THE WAITRESS' EAR WHERE IS ROBERT'S HUGE COCK? WHEN YOU GET THERE

6. IF YOU ORDER MATCHING PANTIES FOR YOU AND YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND AT VICTORIA'S SECRET

7. IF YOU OPENLY OFFER TO HANDWASH YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND'S LOVER'S JOCKSTRAP AFTER THEY HAD HOT NASTY SEX

8. YOU BRING HOME A BUNCH OF RENTED DVD'S OF GAYBOY PORN FOR A LADY'S TEA PARTY AND SERVE THEM IN YOUR FRENCHMAID UNIFORM.

9. YOU PLACE YOUR NEW PLAYGIRL MAGAZINE AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER AND SAY UH I FORGOT SOMETHING AND COME BACK WITH THE BIGGEST JAR OF VASOLINE YOU CAN FIND THEN THE GIRLS BEHIND THE COUNTER BREAK OUT IN UNCONTROLLALE LAUGHTER

10. YOU CANCEL GOING TO YOUR BEST FRIEND BACHELOR'S PARTY(WHO WILL HAVE A COUPLE OF HOT GIRL STRIPPERS) IN ORDER TO GO TO HIS GIRLFRIEND'S (BRIDE-TO-BE) BACHELORETTE PARTY ON THE SAME NIGHT WHERE A FEW WELL-HUNG MALE STRIPPERS WHO LIKE TO HUMILIATE SISSY WIMPS IN FRONT OF GIRLS WILL BE ENTERTAINING THE PARTY

My Jerkin' Poll


I've been polling callers for the hottest place a girl has ever jerked them off. There seem to be the Top 3 as far as popularity:

1. The Car (a few reported this happened going thru the car wash)

2. The Movie Theater

3. The dark area of a Club or Bar

Strip clubs are frequent answers, although it wasn't a cum by jerking off as much as friction of a stripper's body against a helpless teenie weenie.

But the best of the best (hard to say 'hottest') places so far has been:

A Ski Lift

How could it even stay hard in the cold!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Loser confesses how much he adores me....

Sara, I am one of your biggest fans, and read everything you write and listen to all your recordings. I even brush my teeth with my worthless spunk and do all sorts of humiliating things to myself so I can please you, even though you just laugh when I tell you how I wear panties, sit down to pee, wear lip gloss, paint my toenails, jerk at work, read gay magazines. My life has changed because of you forever!

You are never satisfied and always want me to do more! I love your cruelty. I love how you treat your slave toad so terribly, take his money and laugh about him behind his back to your friends and your sister. I wish you were on Niteflirt more but when I see how much you take from toad and fatfuck in real life, I know my 10 minute calls are a waste of your time and beauty. You should have more real life slaves and make them give you much more money. Your beauty and bitchiness is wasted on Niteflirt. I wish I lived in Florida, so I could wash your car like the toad.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Overheard at the Club hmmmm

One (gay?) guy to another:

You don't go to Turkish prison, you go to Craigslist!

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Lab Rat


I have a caller who has volunteered to be my lab rat in perfecting training methodologies to turn my Niteflirt boys gayer faster, plus more irreversible than ever! Yes, he has volunteered to subject himself to unspeakable 'n' evil experimentations that I devise for his frustration and ultimate gayness. Crossdressing optional.

The Chastity Device -- A Confession


Dear Sara,

You have my permission to use this confession on your blog and to edit it as needed. I'm a straight guy athletic 6'00 220 lbs and certainly don't look like a wimp. I've never had a problem attracting women. The problem is I'm only interested in being submissive to women and can't seem to have a normal relationship with them. As a result I've only had sex a handful of times even though I'm in my mid 30's.

The one area of femdom that I really loved was forced chastity. I would fantasize about having my cock locked up by a really hot sadistic college age girl and having to beg her for release. After a while I wanted to experience what it was like to be denied for real and since I had no will power I constructed my own home made chastity device. I took a small round plastic bottle and cut out the top and bottom. I then slid the plastic tube over my penis and wrapped the whole thing up in plaster of paris till only the head of my penis was free. The rest of my penis from the base of the shaft to the ridge just under the cock head was trapped in a hardened cast. I really wanted to try to go for an extended period of denial so I kept it this way for two weeks. At the end of the two weeks when I finally jacked off I had an ejaculation but I felt almost nothing. I thought there must have been so much cum backed up that I was unable to feel anything. However, this was not the case what actually happened is some of the tissue in my penis was damaged from two weeks of being stretched out in the tube and unable to contract or expand. Some feeling has now come back but it's been two years and every time just as I'm about to have an orgasm it feels like someone is pinching my urethra closed and instead of an explosive climax all I can feel is some back pressure and then a small dribble of semen that just leaks out.

Now I am continually frustrated and horny all the time as I can't ever seem to get any true relief. Because I've been in this perpetually horny state for over two years I've gotten more and more interested in anything femdom and my limits have been expanded. It used to be that anything involving forced homosexuality was a big turnoff. Now after being exposed to Sara and her love of turning men gay I can't seem to resist her. I still feel like I'm 100% straight inside yet I'm currently planning to contact Sara to see how I should go about sucking my first cock. I can't believe what has happened to me. How I wish I could turn back the clock to that day I made that chastity device and not do it. Maybe then I'd have a hot girl friend by now instead of two straight years with no real orgasms and a mouth about to stuffed with cock.

Overheard at the Club!


1 girl to 2 other girls:

"And then the cat puked on the sofa so I didn't have to fuck him."

Hmmmm I wonder if he had a small one....Sara

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Small Dick Confession -- at least he knows his place....

Oh my gawd, you are the best! You are so drop-dead gorgeous that I tent my pants whenever I see your picture with your beautiful laughing face. OK ...OK, I know that when I "tent my pants" it may not even be noticeable because my penis is so small. But you are so beautiful that I'm forced to get hard in your honor. And yes, I love that fact that you are an inattainable (for me) size queen bitch! Fuck! I can't help it; I love you so, so much. I know that you would just totally laugh at my small pecker, reject me, and send me on my way with humiliating guffaws and choice bitting cruel remarks (shrimp dick worthless loser pencil-dicked jerk off). But I still can't help but be in love with you. Yes, you can print anything you want about me. You can use my user name if you want, it really doesn't matter. Anyone who knows my user name already knows that I am a little-dicked pervert whose only girlfriend is a big jar of Vaseline. Hey, thanks for answering my email. I really do love you, even though I know that I have Zero chance with such a hot, smart, beautiful size queen.

My puny worthless dick is only four inches long when I am fully hard and erect. I am so ashamed to have such a small dick, that I don't even go out with women who are intersted in me because I could not bear to unbuckle and drop my pants in front of them for them to see how small and inadequate I am. At this stage, I am so used to rejection and out-right ridicule, that humiliation has become my sole refuge. All I do is sit at home and beat off to thoughts of beautiful women like you humiliating me, making fun of me, and laughing at me for being so extremely challenged in the pecker department. And you are so very beautiful. I spend hours each day beating off to your pictures and imaging you mocking my total lack of manhood. I love that you are a size queen. I love that you are a teasing bitch. I love you so very, very much.

Monday, June 04, 2007

The Cuckold Power of the ExWife and ExGirlfriend

Guys call to complain they cannot find anyone to cuckold them in a relationship and want to know how to find a girlfriend who will. This is so much harder to find than what it sounds like on the surface. It's not like a guy can list his cuckold status on Match.com or Yahoo Personals or Craigslist and expect a genuine response. Either the girl is into it, or she isn't, 99.9% are "isn'ts". But I do find that the highest likelihood a guy has in being cuckolded with some expediency is with an ex. Exes are more likely to want to humiliate, to take out all their past disappointments, exact vengefulness and to wield this power without fear. And while they will expect to be compensated in some way for their time, either kaching or bling, this is only fair. Try calling an ex or emailing and see where it may go. Let me know your success or failure in a loser or cuck confession.

Overheard at the Club

Overheard tidbits of convo at the club always amuse me, I should post some of the more interesting ones. This past weekend my favorite:

So you were a ghost? {one guy to another}

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Mr. Stickypants -- A Loser Confession


Yes, it's a cliche to get a crush on the waitress.. sometimes the
mandatory friendliness and even flirtation (in the hopes of a bigger
tip, I'm sure) can be taken the wrong way. But this one was just too
cute.. I was with a friend who knew my girlfriend so I didn't make any
moves that night but about a week later I dropped a business card off
at the restaurant with the hostess to give to my waitress crush... and
about a week after that I got an email. I sent her a picture to
refresh her memory and we made a dinner date.

The dinner went well and a bottle of wine was consumed.. I knew things
were going REALLY well when she suggested we go someplace else to get
a drink. After barhopping we ended up at a very nice lounge with big
comfy couches. She was giving me all of the signals and my pent-up
sexual frustration couldn't be reined in any longer.. I kissed her and
we started making out. She asked me if I was single and said she was
but looked nervous and seemed to be looking around at the bar to see
if anyone could see us. The kissing continued in the car so I was
looking forward to the second date.

However when I called her the next day.. got her machine... and she
never called back. Female friends who I told the story to said it
sounded like she had a boyfriend. I let a few days go by and sent her
an email. Fast forward to our 'second date'. She was home working on
a paper (she's 22 and a senior in college.. I'm 36) and asked me to
bring over some dinner. I thought for SURE I was gonna get laid.. she
was in her pajamas, she had casually mentioned on the phone "I look
like a mess", she said, in false modesty. I went all out on 100 bucks
worth of sushi and a 30 dollar bottle of wine.

After we ate we sat on the couch and talked and watched tv.. anxious
to resume where we had left off the week before in the front seat of
my car, I leaned over and started kissing her. She didn't seem to be
responding so I stopped. 'Is something wrong?" "Jeez, let me digest
first, ok?".

Her shoes were off and she put her bare feet in my lap. I should
mention that I had been jerking off thinking about her gorgeous feet
since our first date. When I had come over for dinner she was wearing
a pair of ballet-type shoe/slippers but when she took them off... oh,
God. A shiny, cherry-red pedicure on her perfect feet. I started
massaging her feet and she got a little-half smile on her face. I was
trying to get her to admit that it felt good but she was teasing me
and wouldn't give me the satisfaction. She was asking me something about
the football game that was on tv while i nuzzled her and kissed her
neck (I guess her lips were off limits!).. Once in a while I would
notice that she would talk about how hot one of the players looks
(always a huge black dude). This went on for maybe an hour until she
put her feet back in my lap and started very subtly, almost
imperceptibly, rubbing them into my crotch. I didn't acknowledge what
was happening and just stared at the screen but after about five
minutes I started to feel the maddeninly slow, deliberate rubbing
starting to touch off some serious sparks. Fearful of her stopping, I
didn't say anything and tried not to move until finally, in the full
abandon of a degrading but oh so deliciously dirty, cum-in-pants
orgasm, I grabbed hold of one of her feet and held it against my shaft
as my fully clothed and pathetically neglected wiener lobbed load
after load of hot, sticky cum into my boxer briefs. She let out a
brief chortle and immediately got up to get a glass of water or
something. When she came back she sat on the couch, tucking her legs
underneather her. "Want a cigarette or something?", she laughed. I
just kind of sheepishly grinned and tried to make a joke about it
'well, I knew it was all I'd be getting .. haha..I'm sorry.. it just
felt so good.. it's been a while since i've had sex, etc...'. She
didn't really say much and I left a little later on. I asked her if
she wanted to hang out that weekend and she said sure.. I told her I'd
call.

The day we were supposed to hang out rolled around and I called her..
no answer.. I left a message. Late morning turned into late afternoon
and I called her cel again.. didn't leave a message this time. I had
no desire to play it cool.. I wanted to see her again and get some
skin on skin contact this time! After dinner I called her from my home
phone (which she didn't know) and this time she picked up.. not
knowing it was me. Needless to say, it was a very awkward telephone
call. She said she was sick, blah blah..

Anyway, the next day I get a message on my space from her telling me
that she's seeing someone else and that we can still be friends, etc..
I checked out her profile and noticed that she had at least five close
up pictures of her feet.. and under one of them it said (knock
yourself out, big guy!). Two days later I got another myspace message
from a profile with no face picture.. just pictures of two pairs of
girls' feet.. I'm sure one of pairs was hers... in the pics they were
stepping on bananas, smooshing them, etc... and they all had teasing
captions like 'ewwww', 'need your banana squished? LOL', etc..

I found out from a friend that she was seeing the maitre'd at the
restaurant where she worked.. a huge black dude who treated her like
shit and who would just get dropped off at her house to have sex with
her and would then go hang out with the boys. I also found out that
she had told her girlfriend about me and that they called me 'Mr.
Stickypants'. I still jerk off to those myspace pics, though. Better
than nothing...

Friday, June 01, 2007

Drained

Desperately needed some hot jerk-off photos (for me) as I was paid to do a toy show (live). Mission: Gi-huge-ic cock inspiration. Having slave toad in the same room while fucking myself -- buzzkill! So I printed out the large cock pics at my Yahoo Group and from Niteflirt emails. My computer ran out of color ink. In comparison, I could have printed out all the little cock-aroni pics and not drained more than a drop. I made toad pick the cock I should fantasize was fucking my pussy. He picked a mammoth piece of meat, a punisher! I was unable to reach the owner of this cock for permission to post at the blog, but hopefully, he will say yes!

Nipple Cocks!



Sara, I am addicted to nipple cocks, I have nipple cock videos and pics on my computer and it's all I jerk to. But what I want to know is am I gay? I don't want to suck cocks, cocks don't turn me on. I know it can look like I'm homo, because I cream for cockettes? If you haven't seen a nipple cock, Bai Ling and Julianne Moore have them, they are the most famous for having nipple cocks.

From Sara: You know, to me, it all comes back to 'gay', I feel this is a latent form of gayness. Just like the foot fetishism theory, the nipple cock can symbolize a cock on a woman's body, it just leaves a little leeway where a guy can feel that he's not gay to worship the nipple cock. But also, the nipple cock can symbolize a maternal fetish, just like the big jug fetishists, nipple cocks are often associated with MILF porn and Milky Mama porn. And in fetishism, sexual anatomy that is oversized is often worshipped, large butts, beef curtains (laffy taffy), big tits, nipple cocks. And the nipple cock can also symbolize an oral desire that isn't necessarily a gay one, but more of a Freudian one. There are also 'nipple lengtheners' and nipple suction devices one can buy to do body modifications to create a longer nip.