Whiteboy Cleaning Service by GAYWAYNE!

Epilog: I answered an ad on Craigslist to clean the apartment of a black man. As the day approached, I wanted to chicken out, I told Sara: I can't do this! She said: You can and you will!

FRIDAY MORNING 8AM APRIL 30, 2010

As I was walking up to the apartment building stairwell, I kept repeating Sara's words in my head. YOU CAN AND YOU WILL. I was in unfamiliar territory. I never cleaned anyone's place before, never mind a blackman. What's wrong with that I kept saying to myself?

His doorkey was under his mat in front of the door just like he said it would be. I opened the door. (I can't believe I'm doing this.) He left a list of duties on a piece of paper tacked up on the fridge. The fridge was covered with pics of him with hot white chicks at clubs and parties. I started vacuuming and dusting right away. His pad did need a good cleaning. (That's what whiteboys like me are for, right?) He was at work and when he got home, he told me that his place better be spotless. He also said he'd be entertaining white chicks over the weekend, and lately all his bed bunnies had been complaining that his place was dirty, which was what prompted him to put the ad on Craigslist. He said he never cleaned. He said he used to have a white slut who cleaned for him, but I don't know if he meant a whiteboy or a whitegirl.

When I got to his bedroom to change the sheets, that's when the full reality hit me. I thought how many beautiful whitegirls has he brought to bed here? I noticed under his tv set, he had a bunch of XXX interracial dvd's, cuz what black dude would want to watch white on white porn....As I walked around the bedroom, picking up all the clothes and towels on the floor that needed to be washed, I realized how stupid and naive I was to believe in the past that white ladies were the property of whiteboys. That now it was truly a step down for these beautiful white women to date silly whiteboys. When I cleaned under his bed I thought of the book I read by Alexandre Dumas, "THE THREE MUSKETEERS" in which the Musketeers all had a wimpy male slave who slept under each of their bed's every night! I fantasized how wonderful it would be to sleep under his bed while he made love to one of his pretty white girlfriends. And then I took all of his dirty laundry to the laundry area in the building and sat there like a dutiful maid while everything was being washed and dried. I read an older Cosmopolitan magazine and realized what a fag I was.

THE BATHROOM

Right on the counter next to the sink was an open box of Trojans. Much too big to put over my birdie. I took the liberty of taking one of his cumbags.

LEAVING

After I was done cleaning I thought I would leave a cute little sissy thank you note. It read:

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME CLEAN YOUR APARTMENT. IT WAS TRULY AN HONOR TO MAKE IT NICE AND TIDY FOR YOU and YOUR BEAUTIFUL WHITE LADIES. THIS IS WHAT US WHITEBOYS WERE MEANT FOR. THANK YOU SIR, FOR PUTTING US IN OUR PLACE. PLEASE CALL ME IF YOU EVER WANT IT DONE AGAIN. IT IS MY PLEASURE. WOULD YOU MIND NEXT TIME SIR IF I WORE A PAIR OF MY RED SILKY PANTIES THAT I BOUGHT AT FREDERICK'S. KISSES YOUR WHITEBOY WAYNE.

P.S. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND BUT TOOK ONE OF YOUR CONDOMS TO REMEMBER YOU BY.

So tonight when he and his blackman buddies are dancing with whitegirls at the dance clubs, I will be home watching white on white gayporn like Sara said I should do and the way it should be OF COURSE. GAYWAYNE