Tuesday, July 08, 2008

American Empress



It's disturbing that, on this very date in history, your fine nation declared it's independence from my kingdom, Great Britain, and yet 232 years later I consider myself totally conquered by you, dependent on your commands and a devoted slave whom you own unconditionally. And in my case, there's very little likelihood of any forthcoming liberating declaration of independence being agreed!

In fact, I thought it was a fitting tribute to your nation's celebration of independence from my kingdom, that I, an English man (boy), prove my submission and servitude to you, my American Empress. I have done so by embracing (and adapting somewhat) a few common celebratory customs that your empowered population enjoy on Independence Day. To summarise, I spent the evening on my own, and have proceeded to:

1) Yank off my Doodle Dixie, whilst tunefully humming The Star-Spangled Banner tune;

2) Spread my emasculated ejaculate over an 8" American Hotdog, and forced it into my proud British mouth. It stuck in the throat a little!

3) Commemorate General George Washington's famous 1778 toast by washing down my US jumbo sausage shaped humiliation with a drop of Brandy.

I hope that these acts are an appropriate and timely demonstration of my dependence and enslavement to you, my wonderful Empress Sara.

yes yes yes! Sara

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