Friday, May 08, 2009

GAYWAYNE's Alaskan Adventure Part I

When I first arrived to Anchorage, Alaska I was interested in the local history. I visited the museums. Read the history posted on the buildings. Checked out the streets where an earthquake took its' toll back in in the Sixties. Took the shore walk. Visited the bargain shops (there were no bargains, everything in Alaska is expensive) and even went to the zoo. I ate at some excellent restaurants like the Brewing House and the Sour Dough Mining Co. for some great Alaskan seafood.

After a month or so my thirst for knowledge was satisfied and a different kind of appetite emerged. (Gaycock hunger??) I kept saying to myself that I was much too manly and that I loved women too much for that or so I thought I did? I went downtown to see if there was any red light district action. Found very little of it if that. After a few days I got fed up walking the streets with Eskimo hooker chicks coming up to me. But I guess it was alright since it was their country and we stole it. But my legs got tired and decided to end the late afternoon in some dive bar called Herbies.

Once I got inside my eyes brightened when I saw that the bartender was a hot blue-eyed blonde wearing really low cut jeans and a shirt tied under her lovely tits. She said "Yeah". I replied a cold Budweiser in a bottle please. I noticed there was only one other customer besides me, a drunk whose head was sleeping at the counter on the other side of the bar. When she returned with my beer and took my five ($5 for a bottle of Bud!!!) she went back to reading a magazine, blowing bubbles from her chewing gum with her gorgeous long legs up on the counter. My mouth watered. I was happy I came in, it was just my luck there was this beautiful lady to feast my eyes on.

But then I noticed the mag she was looking at was about bodybuilding and it seemed to feature all black men pumping iron. To make conversation I politely asked if I could check out the mag after she was done looking at it. Without looking up, she said,"Yeah. OK." And then tossed the magazine over to me.

I keep nursing my expensive beer and checked out the magazine. The address label stated: Herbert Something-or-Other, so thought I would be more more daring and asked, "I guess the owner of this place must be into bodybuilding". She said "That fucking wimp? He's just another stupid corn-balled whiteboy." I said 'wow' to myself.

Another customer walked in so the pretty bartender smirked and attended the other patron saying to him, "Hey Mousey. Look over there Herbie got the pinball machine fixed just in time for the party." He said, "Oh goodie. Please give me some quarters along with a Sprite" as he threw down a twenty. This guy was definitely gay. He swung his skinny little ass that was inside tight black jeans back and forth as played pinball. Wearing big hoop earrings. Fucking fag I said to myself.

The blonde then began flipping channels on the tv and noticed a basketball game (which had only black players of course) ending. "Dammit" she said. So she picked up the remote and started to channel surf looking very bored. (I was getting too horny to be bored). Then she got a call on her cell. She said "Hey Erica, what's up? Oh there's nothing going on here. Nothing on tv except whiteboy garbage shit and some whitefag who wanted to look at Herbie's black muscle mag. And Mousey's here humping the pinball machine." I blushed. I could hear what she was saying if I listened carefully even though she was at the other end of the bar with the tv blaring.

When she hung up I decided to make my move. I remember Sara saying: Tell a pretty girl how gay you are. So I thought here was my big chance. I motioned her over and sweetly asked, "Can you tell me your name please?" "Why the fuck do you want to know?" "So I can ask you where a gayboy can find some action around here?" Then she let her hair down and nicely said. "Sorry. Ever since the governor declared war on porn, everything's already closed or closing down including this place real soon. Herbie sold it. It's becoming a family eatery now. We're having a farewell party this Friday nite." I said "I noticed there was a bunch of pictures of black athletes on the wall, that's a different theme than any other bar I've been in so far up here. She (Jilleen) said "There aren't many black dudes in Alaska. Unfortunately. But I know where they are. My boyfriend's black." She smiled proudly. Then she continued: "Yes, there used to be all white sportsmen photos up on the wall. Hunters with their trophy kills mostly. But since Herbie sold the place, we figured, what the shit, so we made Herbie put up black ones." She laughed.

Then she went on to tell me more of the history of the bar. It was boomtown in the pipeline days. Then it went kinda bust. Even the fishing industry got regulated, alot of jobs were lost. So Herbie had a big black dude at the grille who also doubled as a bouncer. One day Herbie who was in a pissy mood yelled at Laura, a pretty white waitress, for messing up a big order. The big black bouncer Trey was furious and pulled Herbie by the ear to back of the kitchen. Herbie didn't know that Trey, the bouncer, was fucking the waitress. He easily wrestled Herbie to the ground and kept him pinned there with his foot while Herbie wiggled helplessly like a just caught fish. Word was that he later made Herbie suck his first big black 10 inch cock. All the white waitresses were extremely delighted to hear about this, because Herbie was a nasty little whiteprick. Then Laura, who happened to be Jilleen's sister, caught Herbie sucking Trey's cock live and snapped a cell phone picture in which she used to blackmail Herbie. The story goes that Trey quit the griller/bouncer job. But just a few days later, he got a call from Herbie. He said he'd only come back if he got a big raise and if Herbie hired a black friend of his.

Herbie agreed and in walked these hot black stallions with perfectly muscular chiseled bodies from working on the pipeline. These men were from big cities like Detriot and St. Louis. They took whatever jobs they could get when they got laid off, bouncers, cooks, dishwashers, etc. In fact, all the pretty white waitresses and bartenders at Herbies were from Hooters or strip clubs after they closed.

I asked who was the faggy boy playing pinball? Jilleen said: "Oh thats Mousey. A perfect name for a whiteboy don't you think? Jilleen explained to me that Mousey was a rich kid who gets a nifty allowance from his wealthy parents every month by telling them he wants to make it on his own. Mousey helps Jilleen and her black boyfriend pay their rent. In return they let him clean their apartment once a week and if he does a good job, her black stud lets him hand wash his g-string underwear and Jilleen's thongs and panties in the sink. Peggy explained it's a real gas to watch the faggot do this and her girlfriends love hearing about it.

I was deeply moved by this story and wished I was Mousey. Then I asked my final question. "Can anyone come to this farewell party?" Jilleen said, "Well black men and white girls for free, but we charge whiteboys $25 dollars to pay for all the food and drink of course. I said that's fine and I would be there this Friday night. Jilleen said the party starts at 10pm as she was bending down to put away my empty beer bottle into a recycle bin, showing her off beautiful ass. I thought I would die, but then I realized this was ass for the black man only because black men always get only the most beautiful whitegirls in the USA no matter where in the USA as it should be and us whiteboys better suck on that.

Jilleen continued: oh there's just one more thing Wayne. I listened carefully drinking a glass of ice water that I had ordered and had to pay $1 !!!! "The farewell party is a Pimps and Ho's party. All girls dress like ho's. All the black dudes dress like pimps." "So what do the whiteboys dress like?" I asked. "All the whiteboys must bring a costume to wear, you know, like something sissy or faggy." "You mean like a Frenchmaid's uniform?" said Mousey from the pinball machine. I coughed out my water. "Swallow an ice cube baby?" She asked. I said to myself, no it's more like I swallowed my balls. All along I had been hitting bar after bar in Alaska, land of the REAL men, while what I was secretly looking and hoping to find was a kinky little place with my kind of action, and it was just my bad luck that it was going to be closing down.

Then suddenly this big bald headed handsome brute black dude came in and walked up to the bar. Jilleen bent over the bar and yelled, "Oh baby I missed you so much!" Put her arms around him and proceeded to give him the longest and and hottest french kiss I ever saw. NO WHITE GIRL EVER GAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO A WHITE GUY. With her pretty ass sticking out this made me cum in my pants. I thought this was the perfect time to leave so they could be alone and I could deal with my 'sticky' situation. Oops I realized as I was leaving, they weren't really alone, since Mousey was there, but who-knows-what they'd make him do. So I left a nice a tip while realizing that I might be biting off more than I could chew by attending the farewell party....

Next: WAYNE'S EXCELLENT BIG COCK ADVENTURE in Alaska continues....

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