Lament of the Alpha Female

And the dick survey says:


Large dick to small dick ratio: 1/100


For every well-hung guy who calls my Big Dick Line and sends me a pic, there are at least 100 lil squirts who send pictures of their pathetic member before they call one of my lil dick squirt lines. So for me, being on Niteflirt, is not just a job haha, but a necessity to keep those little dicks from parking in Pussy Place! It is ri-dick-ulous how few large cocks there are out in Fuck Universe. The alpha male is a rare sighting.

{PS from Sara....I'll take an injection of Red Bull over a puny Vienna Sausage anyday!!!!!}

The Sad State of Internet Dominatrices

When I do Niteflirt calls, I often hear call disaster stories. Especially calls involving Dommes or girl who claim to be Dommes. (Click on the posting title to jump to this hilarious site). Yes, you will probably think of several so-called Dommes you've called in the past who fit the description of "The Insta-Domme".

The Town is Getting 'Dark'

A great post in Miami's Craigslist Rants & Raves today:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HIDE ALL THE WHITE WOMEN!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-270894302@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-30, 5:04PM EST


Niggers are already crawling all over town like rats for the Superbowl

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Probably jealous the city is crawling with big black cocks! Sara

Chop Job

ANTWERP, Belgium (Jan. 25) - Mozart, an iguana with an erection that has lasted for over a week, will have his penis amputated in the next couple of days.

Veterinarians at Antwerp's Aquatopia had sought to treat the animal's problem, known as priapism, but decided removal was the only solution because of the risk of infection. Mozart, sitting on the shoulders of his keeper as camera crews focused on his red, swollen erection, seemed unperturbed by the news.

"It doesn't bother him. He doesn't know what amputation means," said vet Luc Lambrecht, adding that Mozart's sexual activity should be undimmed by the operation.

That is because male iguanas have two penises.

If only well-hung men had two penises, perfect for a DP!!! Sara

Note about the photo: Iguanas, like horny dudes, will mate with sex toys when female iguanas are not available....

Kate, Mr. Ekko and Claire Make me Gay

Sara, when I read the story about how the CSI Miami girl makes this guy jerk it, I knew I had to reveal my most powerful pathetic jerk fantasy. Since Mr. Ekko was killed off on Lost, I don't know where I am going to get my fix.

Here it is, I am one of the survivors on the island. I have a tiny little weewee and Kate and Claire discover this when they catch me playing with it while they are bathing in a waterfall pond. They laugh and tell all the girls on the island how little it is and that all the girls should use me to do their laundry, gather mangoes, fix up their huts, but that I should be denied because I'm not a real man like Jack, Sawyer or Mr. Ekko. Once a week they go up to Mr. Ekko's place and get serviced by a big black cock. They make me lick it out and tell me that I am lucky to get some creamy protein in my diet because everyone else eats only fish and fruit.





Then Mr. Ekko notices how little my peepee is while I am watching Kate and Claire get fucked. So he turns me into his bitch. I have to suck his big black African dick every day, and lick his balls, then he fucks me and I spurt just from having his mandingo dong inside my pussy. Then he smacks my face, spits on me and tells me I am worthless.

The thing is, I never want to leave the island, because I know my place. Well at least it will be out on DVD so I can jerk to being Mr. Ekko's bitchboi and Kate and Claire's cuckie.

Porn Creep

Sara, I have to tell everyone that besides you, Callie from CSI Miami makes me jack off alot. But not in the way you think. I jerk off at least 3 times a day, but more likely up to 6 times a day especially on the weekends, I can't keep my hands off my dick. I have a huge porn magazine and DVD collection. To show you how addicted I am, I replaced all my porn videos with the DVD versions if they were available, if not I kept my VCR to play some that were only released on VHS. My spare bedroom in my apartment is like a total porn room with my recliner as my jerkoff chair.

Whenever I would date a girl, I couldn't cum from fucking or blow jobs. This started in high school. I am not small, I have 7 inches. Like that guy who posted on your blog who fakes his orgasms with his girlfriend, I would have to fake it. If I was getting a blow job, I'd have to jerk it on the girl or in her mouth to finish. I know I'm married to my hand so now I've given up on dating girls.

OK so one night I was watching this episode of CSI Miami and that foxey blonde Callie is talking about a suspect saying he has this condition called "porn creep" where he can only cum to his hand and that he's addicted to porn. When that season came out on DVD, I started to jerk off to that episode especially the scene where she says "porn creep". Then I started looking for pictures of her on the net. Not hot ones, but pictures where she looks pissed off or is looking at me with contempt! I have them as a slide show that I use to jerk off with. Callie knows my secret and she thinks I'm pathetic.

I'm still a webtard but....

You can now reach my blog at:

www.sarasplayroom.com


I hope to have a real fully-fleshed website sometime this year. Everyone knows grad school is my priority, and that I don't have as much time to devote to my virtual endeavors as I would like. I only have a year and a half left in school, but who knows how long I will need to be a webslut to pay off the loans?

Pssst I've had guys say that I look like Aria Giovanni??? She has natural D's and I've got perky B's. Tits aside, Aria will be in Miami Beach for the Penthouse Superbowl Party at Mansion (nightclub). Maybe I'll have to check it in person. But not for $1,900 per ticket. Wonder how much she gets out of the event appearance!

Britney's First Blow Job!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Diet Fetish

My 'diet' fetish thing started after making my step-brother eat dog biscuits when we were growing up. Then came anorexia and bulimia, I confess, when I was in my teens and its' ghosts still haunt me. Most of you know I created the infamous Fagkins Diet -- Eat Pink Go Gay! And I confer different punishment and humiliation diets onto slaves who have misbehaved or need to be put in their place. Here is an example of the latest punishment diet day a poor slave must endure:



Breakfast
Allbran Cereal
Sardines
Bananas -- leave the skin on
Jar of Dill Pickles

Put the sardines on top of the Allbran. Slice the bananas into coin-sized bites, leaving the skin on. Pour dill pickle juice over the lot, enjoy. I had eat sardines and drink pickle juice to get into a sorority, so if you can't drink this, you are a worthless wimp!


Lunch


Maybe there is Vegemite in ***** somewhere. It's hard to find in Florida. Vegemite hails from Down Under. A yeast paste that the Aussies consume like Americans do peanut butter in the US. It looks like shit. It tastes like shit. Hopefully, you can find some and make a Vegeshit sandwich.


Lunch (alternate)

If there is no Vegemite to be found....

Can of tuna cat food (idea borrowed from a Niteflirt Master who forces 'pussy' boys to eat cat food). Wasabi. Crackers. Put the tuna cat food and wasabi on the crackers. Be sure to have water around, the stuff will make you cry, if the wasabi is authentic that is. And you must eat this concoction till you cry.


Dinner

Mackerel Tacos!!!


Old Coffee Grounds -- You can usually get old coffee grounds from Starbucks, you just tell them they are for your plants. Of course this makes the spaceheads who work there think you grow pot

Mackerel -- buy a can of people Mackerel not cat food mackerel

Mash up the Mackerel until it is mushy and gross. Put into Taco Shells (preferably stale), top with Coffee Grounds. Yummmm.

All my sexcess is in Texas....

A naughty confession where bi prince al was first forced to go gay!

It has been almost 10 years since the first time and probably 7 years since the last time and after talking to Sara at niteflirt, and fantasizing over and over...I have decided that it is time for me to find another hot guy and to get on my knees and have another taste. If there is anyone in the Central Texas Area interested in a good looking 6' 5" white male sucking their cock, let me know and we will chat**. Ladies, if you have a guy you are interested in watching get their cock sucked, also let me know and we will see if I can help you out with your fantasy.

****************************************************************

Here is what happened the first time for me. I
was out drinking with a college buddy and his wife and
she kept telling us that she knew we had done things
with each other in college, and although we had not we
kept playing it up and acting like we into each other.
She kept telling us how hot it was to watch us flirt
with each other and how she would love to see us
together and watch us suck each others cock. At first
I was shocked at where this seemed to be heading but
the more I drank and the more she talked the hornier I
was getting. Now, to let you know she was extreamly
hot and I had always wanted to fuck her and here she
was rubbing against me and whispering in my ear about
how horny she was and how much she wanted to see me
with her husbands cock in my mouth, then she grabbed
my cock and said she could tell it was what I wanted
too, and she was right. We then went to one of the
local topless bars here in Austin and she had a freind
who worked there that danced for us and then they both
started to try and get us to kiss in the VIP section
in front of them and all the other customers. Well,
let me tell you, having his tounge down my throat just
made me even harder so I grabbed his dick and it was
hard as a steel pole and burning up even through his
shorts. I then reached up his shorts and started
jacking him off there in the club, I would have blown
him then and there if the girls didn't tell me to calm
down because people were watching and we didn't want
to get kicked out.

Well, we ended up back at their house, just the three
of us, with her sitting a chair and he and I sitting
on the couch. She just smilled and told me she was
waiting and then he spread his legs, so I got on my
knees in front of him and started to rub him getting
him harder and harder...his cock felt fucking huge for
a guy his size. He is about 5'10" and about 150 lbs
and I am 6'5" and about 200 lbs, but we both have 8
inch cocks. When I took his shorts off and his hard
cock was in my face I could not believe I had waited
this long to try this and I just wanted that beautiful
piece of meat in my mouth. I started by licking up
and down the shaft and around the head, trying to get
it as wet as possible and he already had some salty
precum for me to taste. AND I LOVED IT, I wanted more
I wanted his cum so bad then you would have had to
have to use the jaws of life to get my mouth off his
cock. I worked on his cock for about 15 to 20 minutes
while his wife told me what and how to suck cock and
it is still to this day (10 years later) the most
intense and erotic moment of my life. When he said he
was about to cum I just started sucking harder and
harder and she was now on her knees so she could watch
up close and was telling me not to miss a drop and
that she wanted to see me with his hot load in my
mouth. When he came I did not think I could hold it
all but finally his spasms ended and I turned to her
and showed his load on my tounge and then I swallowed
the whole thing and just smiled. Later he gave me a
hot blow job and then we both had to eat her out and
we all fell asleep on the living room floor. When I
woke up, I realized we did all this with all the
lights on and the curtins open so if any of the
neighbors were looking they got a hell of a show.

*************************************************************************************

**In case you want to get in touch with bi prince al, here is his blog addy:

www.bibiprinceal.blogspot.com

*************************************************************************************


Thong from www.flirtcatalog.com. I checked out some yummy leather thongs for well hung boys and fetish items. Sara

Black Snake Moan....

...should be the name of a porno starring Mr. Marcus. But no, this is a serious film starring Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci and Justin Timberlake(huh?) Christina is an incurable nymphoslut who hangs out with bluesman Samuel L. The promo photos and DVD cover make it seem like a 'chicks in chains' or Southern baaaadgirls 70's t&a film. But the porn version should be cumming out shortly since just about every major release gets robbed of its title and given the porn treatment. I think I'll wait for that version!

Britney forced off The Gay Cliff!!!

Note from Sara: Britney is on the Fagkins Diet and is getting gayer by the minute. I made Britney the slutney call a Black Master on Niteflirt and service his meaty black bat-cock. Here is a delish recap!

Sara

The black master i called has so totally turned me on. It was unbelievable. God I just loved being degarded by a powerful dominant man. It's such a turn on. He explained that he loved pimping out pathetic little white boys like me and that the only thing we are good for is servicing huge black cocks. Wow! He said that he would have a "price list" tatooed on my ass cheeks so my johns would know exactly what sort of "sick shit" I was into. Can you believe that! But the sexisest thing was when he explained that after he had turned me into one of his ho's and pimped me out for a few months he was going to get me turned into a ladyboy. God, my babydick got so hard thinking about the stuff he was telling me. He explained that he would have my balls taken off, covered in bronze, engraved with my name and turned into earings that he could give to his girlfriend. I know its like totally pathetic but the thought of my pathetic balls dangling from a sexy womans ears completely turned me on. But then he said that she kept loosing her earings so I should probably kiss goodbye to my balls now. I felt so pathetic as I just kep begging him to make sure she looked after them! He explained that my pathetic babyballs were probably too small anyway and his grlfriend would end up giving her shiny new earings away or maybe selling them on ebay (so I could bid to try and get them back). He says if I call him back he'll tell me what else he has planned for me but i'm not sure I can cope with any more just yet.

I can't quite believe what this guy was saying he'd do to me but think I could get like completely addicted to seving him! Or probably serving any powerful black masters! God, I'm getting gayer than I thought possible!

Oh, and I told him about my diet and he said I needed to get a taste for thick black man spunk - the ultimate high protein diet. In the meantime, he wants that I should have a can of catfood for lunch tomorrow cos I'm a loser "pussy".

Just had to let you know how I got on!

Love

Britney
xxx

Friday Nite Tiny Dick Loser Assignment

I made Q-tip (no not the rapper, who I heard is quite well hung 9 inches-ish but a tiny white Q-tip like you clean your ears with...) write with a black sharpie marker 3 1/2" on the backs and palms of both of his hands. He has to go to a club tonite and buy girls drinks. When they ask what 3 1/2" means, in case they don't figure it out obviously duh(!) he must confess it's the size of his little tiny peen.

Doncha think all men should be tattooed with their size, or should carry a dick license with their erect size? Club doormen could check the dick license and not let in anyone under 7". That way girls would not have to worry about running into tiny dick losers like Q-tip. Black guys would not need to be licensed teehee.

Definitely should have been wearing a CB3000

I was watching the Dallas game before heading out, Dallas and Miami are the teams my Dad raised my sister and me to watch and obsess over. One of my Niteflirt friends called and we watched the demise, ugh. Even before the fateful bobble, I commented that Romo had been thinking too much about 'lil' Romo lately, what with Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood probably giving him panties to stuff in his locker for luck. I said he really should be in a chastity device so he can keep his mind on the football. I think I jinxed him?

Perhaps a call to Jerry Jones about how to handle Romo next season would be in order. No bims on the field and keep 'lil' Romo in a CB3000. After all, Tom Brady just broke up with his actress girlfriend a few weeks ago, just before the playoffs. You know what that man's priorities are!

Britney Doll has a good idea!

Britney Doll wanted the recipe to the 'ahem' special cucumber salad. Perhaps I should post a recipe every week or so using splooge as a critical ingredient. Yum! Well it's 4am and just closed a club with my girlie friends. Must sleeeeeep. But will post more manana!

Monstrous Dilemma -- post your advice in Comments

Sara I want to get your "input" on a problem I am
faced with. I have this desire to make my ass available to men w/big
cocks, T-girls w/ huge cocks, and women w/ big
huge strap-on cocks, all for a good hard pounding.

I also have this desire to shove big huge things up my
ass. Make that “monstrous things”. I've done it before
(see the note below about the shampoo bottle, for
example) and I loved it. The feeling of being
stretched by a huge “cock” is incredible. The feeling
of having my empty ass gape like the Lincoln tunnel
right after is something I equally crave.

Of course, the problem is that if I stretch that faggy
“pussy” of mine like I need, my ass will be looser
than my drunken sister during Fleet Week. I love that
of course, but I worry those men and T-girls with even
the largest cocks may not be so thrilled with my
sloppy loosened hole. At least a woman with a strap-on
can always just use a larger dong... Thank Goddess for
toys!

In my twisted sissy head I think of the benefits of
the loose ass, I can get fisted, maybe get foot
fucked, take two huge dicks at the same time, I’d feel
like the ultimate slut permanently opened up. But I
worry that I will miss out on some cock because they
don't want to bother with my altered ass.

For the purpose of demonstration, I've included a
photo of some of the anal toys I'm using so you know
what I am talking about. The black set is my anal
stretching kit. As I note in the photo, I am currently
at 1.5". I'll be moving through each larger sizes
after about every three weeks. I'm taking my time
because I want to be able to keep them in me for hours
on end (24x7 actually), not just a few minutes.

The 2.5 inch shampoo bottle on the far right is
something I put in my ass about 7 years ago. It took
about 3.5 hours to get it in and I didn't do any anal
prep in the months beforehand; just me in a hotel room
with lots of lube, time, and horniness. As soon as I
slid down on it (only got it in about 3 inches), the
bottle pressed on my prostate and could feel a big
blob of my cum oozing out. I got milked by my own
bottle; the first and only time I’ve been milked. The
problem was that I was only able to keep it in me for
about 5 minutes. I jerked my little limp dick and as
soon as I came the bottle was pushed out all on its
own from my contractions. I was gaping for a few days
after that, at the same time my ass was swollen for a
week; a strange combination for sure but I loved the
feeling.

So finally in the photo there is my Doc Johnson "Cock
and Balls" dong; this dong is 11 by 3 inches. It’ll
stay in it’s wrapper till it’s time to ride it. It's
next to a 2 inch diameter 8.3oz Red Bull can for
reference (a standard Coke or Pepsi can is 2.25
inches). This thing is huge; much bigger than a soda
can. I so want this in my ass... It is my ultimate
goal. I don’t want to just get it in me. I want to get
it in me all the way to the balls, and I want it in me
all day; like a giant buttplug.

So you can see that my intentions are pretty grand. I
have a lady friend, who suggested that there
are plenty of men who would like to fuck a
loose ass, and would totally get off on it.
In that vein, I know I would love putting my little
dicklett inside a woman who is stretched by a large
black cock and I would totally get off on it, but I'm
not sure it's the same thing. I suppose I could open
it up for a few weeks and then stop and let it shrink
back down for a while and start all over… Oh I hate
compromises like that! I wish I just had a built in
switch… “Push to activate the loose asshole mode”… but
it wouldn’t be as fun as going through the effort of
getting opened up using the toys.

Well I hope you can see my dilemma. Do I keep my ass
tight ass for those big cocks, or do I open it up like
the anal whore I that I am? What do you think Sara?

One thing is for sure, either way I’m eventually going
to end up in diapers when I get older… It’ll be worth
it.

From Sara: I had to consult with my sister ( a nurse ).
"The sphincter muscle will recover from being stretched as
long as it isn't stretched too frequently."

Tony Montana would not be proud!

These are the only boxers weedick losers, fagtoys or cucks would ever be allowed to wear. Usually all boxers and briefs have to be thrown out. This is because: NO MORE FALSE ADVERSTISING!! Real men wear boxers and briefs and boast the equipment which merits wearing them. Losers, fagpies and cuckies must replace with panties, preferably from Victoria's Secret. Those poor girls work on commish so buy many pairs!

Faggoty Loser's Date with 2 Cucumbers

Tonite, one of my faggoty losers in Chicago has to:

Do a few shots of tequila then go to the supermarket and buy the latest issue of Bikini Muscle, 2 cucumbers and KY jelly. He has to walk around the supermarket with his cart and make sure quite a few people see what is in it. Then he has to check out in a line with the cutest girl clerk.

Why you may ask 'cucumbers'. Well that is because faggoty loser threw out his sex toys before XXXmas because he was going to be having company and didn't want anyone to snoop and find his collection. He is awaiting a delivery of several large dildos, but until then big, fat cucumbers will do.

While dildo'ing himself, he has to call a gay chat line and get a guy off before he is allowed to spurt. Of course faggoty loser must eat his own cum. Or maybe I should make him prepare a creamy Dirty Sanchez cucumber salad?

The Real Sara Endures

yes I do occasionally model, local shows, local designers, on the catwalk, on the runway, too sexy! the pay isn't that great, but it's fun!

Mark your calendars: January 31, 2007 is my 4 year anniversary on Keen/Niteflirt. Pop open the champagne! As long as it's not that cheap Corbel cham-plain. And it continues to be an adventure!

Yes, when I first joined up, it was Keen, and the phone sex girls and dominatrices were on the same site as the psychics. Keen was a 'community' then. You were supposed to register and use your real pics.

Just this past week, a guy contacted me and said that he had enjoyed very hot cybersex with me on Yahoo and was hoping I would do that again for free instead of charging for phone time to get him off. I was puzzled because I don't do cybersex. So I asked for the Yahoo screen name and it was similar to mine, and featured a few of my lifted photos on the Yahoo profile. Probably a dude pretending to be a girl!

I've been on Match.com haha as a girl from Newark, NJ. I had to email Match to get them to take that profile down. And jeez, if you're going to use my pics to front for a porn site or collect email addies for spam, why place me in Newark of all places? Maybe the foreign porn site owner or spammer assclowns thought Newark was NEWYORK.

I've been on a Las Vegas escort website. Imagine the guy's shock when I didn't show up hahahaha but some crack ho with stringy long black wig hair did.

Fagqueen's: The Lone Ranger & Tonto !!! Part 1

Fagqueen has penned the first installment of a hilarious take on the Lone Ranger & Tonto story. Maybe he can fag-ify Batman & Robin next, talk about queers in 'tards. Purrrrrmeowwww I confess I wanted to be Catwoman in a leather or latex catsuit when I grew up!

The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town and enter the saloon to find details of what was robbed from the chorus girls. The Madame of the saloon mentioned that all of the lingerie and makeup belonging to the chorus girls had been stolen. The chorus girls felt it was the work of the nearby encampment of Indians. Wouldn't they be able to use the make-up as war paint? Perhaps shred the lingerie and use the sequins on their garb?

The masked man said ''Don't worry ladies we will bring back all the stolen goods and punish the redskins.'' He looked at his obedient servant Tonto and said "Isn't that right Tonto?'' Tonto replied ''What do you mean we Kimosabe Paleface? I'm supposed to punish my people, because of your fag ass? Kimosabe is a fag. Watch.'' Tonto then pulled the masked of the ranger face to show all mascara, eye liner and eye shadow he had on. One chorus girl chimed ''Hey thats my make-up!''

The Lone Ranger stood there in shame while Tonto said, ''ow you know why he wears a mask. To hide his eyes. Paleface is closet fag.''In one swift motion Tonto sat down and pulled the white man over his knees. He then pulled down his pants to show the girls his red silk panties. One girl piped up ''Hey those are my panties''. Tonto said ''Palefaceboy robbed your lingerie and make-up in the dressing while you girls danced on stage." The chorus girls were now on Tonto's side cheering him to spank the Lone Ranger's ass. Tonto pulled down the panties and started spanking his white ass until the ranger boy's face turned dark red and he started to cry like a baby.

The Madame said ''Why he's not a man. He's just a little candyass fairy.'' The girls realized that Tonto was making a complete fool out of the Lone Ranger and started to encouraging even more. One girl shouted "Hey Brave Tonto make that Palefaceboy suck your big RED COCK.'' Tonto pushed the ranger boy off his lap so he could pull down his pants and whip out his huge red cock. Tonto shouted "Hey Paleface, show your white women what you do to me alone and why you never kissed a girl because you'd rather kiss cock".

Tonto then started slapping his big red prick all over Kimosabe's embarrassed face while he cried in shame. ''Tell them why paleface!''Tonto demanded. "Because I need it" said the ranger in a whisper. ''ay it louder.'' ''Because I love indian cock.'' ''Louder with correction.'' ''Because I'm hooked on NATIVE AMERICAN PRICK.''

All the girls laugh out loud at the Lone Ranger faggot confession. One girl said ''Make him kiss it Tonto.'' And the ranger did it. Another girl said ''Now make him say thank you for kissing your cock Tonto.'' The ranger said thank you. To the amazement of the ladies Tonto said 'your welcome' by slapping that great huge cock across the ranger's face. The girls got such a kick at how Tonto was teasing his paleface boy with his huge cock. Tonto said ''now lick it'.' The Lone Ranger timidly licked Tonto's big prick and said thank you. Your wel(POUND) come(POUND) Tonto was cock-slapping the rangerboy silly again without mercy and the girls loved every minute of it.

They loved seeing his bashful face each time Tonto's prick pounded across his fag face. The Madame said ''Tonto make him give you some head.'' Hearing that Tonto grapped the back of the Lone Ranger's head and made him suck his fat juicy cock. The girls shouted "SUCK THAT MANMEAT'' ''MAKE IT HARDER'' ''SMOKE THAT POLE'' DEEP THROAT IT'' GAG ON IT BITCH'' ''SWALLOW THAT INDIAN LOAD FAGGOT'' TONTO SHOT HIS HUGE LOAD RIGHT DOWN THE LONE RANGER's THROAT AND THE CHORUS GIRLS LAUGHED THEIR ASS OFF. to be continued......

The AM I GAY Test

If any of you dare to take the test, do report your results back to me.

I noted there was a SIZE QUEEN test, but it was drafted by a 23 y/o dude from the UK who was upset after his g/f broke up with him, most likely, because he has a small penisssss.

One of my Niteflirters inquired last nite what my personal 'cut-off' is as far as my Size Queenery standards. 7" is the preferred cut-off. 6 1/2" if it's uber-thick. But if the dick, no matter how long, is a pencil dick, it will not be poking me.

Planet of the Apes

"A planet where hot’n’horny females are the 8th Wonder of the World and the dominant species becomes the setting for this ultra-sensual adventure that gives brand new meaning to “spanking the monkey.”

That’s because these sexy, kinky and libidinous ladies have banished men to a forbidden zone and made apes their personal love slaves." Review from videoeta.com

I'm off to Kongland! Sara

PS The DVD releases on Valentine's Day, how evil of them...

The Loser Life

Hi Sara,

I have spoken to you awhile back. Anyways I saw you were requesting loser confessionals and I thought I would send you links to my blog where I have chronicled my loser life. I took a break from blogging but if you read through you can find some very pathetic personal confessions(Like the fact that I am 36 and have never had sex with a woman without paying for it...) Feel free to copy anything you find particularly pathetic from my blog and link or post it on your blog.

I hope to find you on niteflirt soon. I remember my one and only call with you was very good and I would love to play with my toys for you.

--sissy

Note from Sara: sissy hand-picked these entries as ultra-pathetic and they truly are!

http://couldibemorepathetic.blogspot.com/2005/03/same-ol-same-ol-saturday.html

http://couldibemorepathetic.blogspot.com/2005/04/he-shootshe-scores.html

http://couldibemorepathetic.blogspot.com/2005/04/bald-chick-and-loser.html

The Kickers

Hmmm Nicole says the kickers are usually drunks or queers. Somehow I doubt Jeff Reed of the Steelers took this shot with his camera phone to send to a girl.

The Gay Cliff

Permission to put on Sara's blog by HerMineE: 2007 will be the year I suck cock for Sara. I admit I avoided the real thing in 2006. I sucked a few strap-ons when I visited Mistresses. I suck on a life-like dildo when I masturbate. Sara is pretty pissed since she sucks cock and says she isn't ordering me to do anything she doesn't do. She says I just need to be pushed off 'the gay cliff'. I didn't go out for New Year's because I am such a faggot loser, so she made me post on Craigslist about how much I love cock and want to hook up. If you are reading this on New Year's Day, you know that Sara got this in her email and is probably mad hungover and will make me suck cock today. If I let her down, I know she will never speak to me again. So I might as well do it since I haven't had pussy in 6 years.

Wonderbra Technology for Briefs?

I think this new cup technology for briefs from Aussie Bum
will only work if you have sizable balls to 'cup'. While I love to check hot guys' bulges, it's the erect cock size which matters, not the appearance of the package.
Some packages can be deceiving which is why on other than black guys, I do a dick size check. This usually means grinding on it or stroking to see if it passes the cut-off point. As with fishing, I throw the little ones back!